What is the etiquette here?

I am not up on vow renewals at all, so maybe you ladies could put some light on this situation for me? 


A friend of mine is planning a vow renewal/anniversary party for their 5 year. I am all about vow renewals and celebrating love and all that it entails, so I am excited for her! Today she called and started talking about a bridal shower. It kind of caught me off guard, I didn't think it was something that was done. The more the conversation went on for a while I realized she is planning a full blown extravaganza. She is talking rehearsal dinners, showers, the whole 9 yards. It kind of rubbed me the wrong way because we just did all of this 4 years ago for her. She had a wedding and all that comes with a wedding. I've never participated in a vow renewal, so I am pretty clueless, but is this typical??? I feel like she wants a do over. And she is allowed to do that, but my wallet is already anticipating this being pricey for me, again!

Posted on November 29, 2012 at 9:12 am
missjess485
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02/19/2012
missjess485

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(4) Comments

Uhlease
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09/02/2012
Uhlease

Uhlease

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Uhlease

Hmm, sounds a little extreme to me! But I also have no idea and have never been to one. My guess is that you can do it however you want, but it doesn't sound like she is thinking about any body else here. Especially, like you said, you did the full blown wedding only 4 years ago...*shrug*


I dunno, I guess I'm just used to my family just barely even mentioning their anniversaries. haha. But still happily married and loving life. Though, what are you supposed to say to her? THat does kind of suck for you :/  I've been really long winded today in my posts. I just keep typing and typing. haha.

Posted on November 29, 2012 at 9:33 am
beccabride
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10/10/2010
beccabride

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beccabride

I found this online at about.com regarding showers and vow renewals.  I have not personally heard of this, but I have found a consensus online. 


http://weddings.about.com/od/yourweddingceremony/a/VowRenewal.htm


Even if you want a big and expensive celebration, there are still a few things you should avoid:



  • Don't have attendants. If you have children, you can give them a special role in the ceremony, but there is no need to designate them as bridesmaids or groomsmen. You may wish to invite your original bridal party and recognize them during the ceremony.

  • Don't register for gifts. This is not the time to upgrade the china. Wedding gifts are to help a newly-married couple set up their household together.

  • Don't throw bachelor or bachelorette parties. This is an obvious one – you aren't bachelors or bachelorettes!


There is a Vow Renewal Group here as well, but I am not sure if they have discussed this particular issue.  : )


 

Posted on November 29, 2012 at 9:46 am
missjess485
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02/19/2012
missjess485

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If I didn't love her so much, I think I would probably just avoid the showers and things. I totally think she can do whatever she really wants, I just wasn't sure about if this was typical. I am all about going and celebrating her amazing family, it is just different. 


 

Posted on November 29, 2012 at 9:56 am
IdoAgain20years
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IdoAgain20years

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OK- Let me start with I am renewing my vows and here is the skinny. . .


at 5 years she should not be doing anything other than a ceremony and maybe a dinner. If this is an anniversary then an anniversary gift is appropriate.


I am at 20 years and this is the first time I have done it, just in case you are wondering.


Like other MAJOR anniversaries there are some differences.


We COULD have my ORIGINAL attendants stand with us and why not they stood with us the first time and they are the ones who helped support our relationship.


We could register for anniversary gifts, but we did not


We could have a big to do and we are. . . Dinner, Dancing, Drinks


We will not be doing the 25 year.


Here is WHY we are renewing our vows now.


Our son is going off to the military and honestly I am afraid what will happen to him and where he may be when we hit that milestone.


I was that TEEN Bride and Mother that so many scoff at. I am so tired of hearing someone is too young to get married. I am tired of hearing only older mothers are great moms. We want Andrew to know that we are still very much in love and are happy to do it all over again.


The last reason we are doing this is because WE have survived so much. Things that have caused our other friends to divorce. We grew together and not apart.


That said I DO NOT fault anyone for divorce. It is a fact that some people really do need to be apart and I know that there is a GREAT person in their future.


 


 

Posted on November 29, 2012 at 11:50 am

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