my definition is loyalty and devotion in spite of the circumstances surrounding you, good or bad.
I agree Kim. As long as you are both loyal and devoted, then I feel you are comitted. You can't be comitted if you are one or the other. It has to be both.
Hah! Now here's a thread bound to get people thinking....
Well, like Tina said, "What's love got to do with it?"
My thing is a lot of people think that just because they're in LOVE with somebody that it means they're supposed to be together. I mean don't get me wrong, that should be the FOUNDATION but if you love me, and yet you can't keep it in your shorts, then what good can you really do me if you can't stay faithful or committed to me? I guess what I'm trying to say is this: if you are going to be with someone -- like FOREVER then it takes a lot of work and blood and sweat and tears. And it's HARD as hell. And you will encounter things/problems/issues you never thought you would have to deal with. And at one point you will want to give up. BUT, you don't. No matter what. Good, bad, ugly, indifferent. That's commitment. Whether you're in, out, or in-between love. Love has NOTHING to do with it. When you commit to someone or something (and I realize we're talking about MARRIAGE here so I will keep it in that context) it means you will STAY no matter what and NEVER give up. You are willing to endure ALL THINGS.
Mine is staying together and being a team , a unit at all times .... Putting your spouse and family before yourself and to never stop working at your relationship
Amen Oreo!!! I've seen for myself what happens when the love fades--it's how you treat the other person and the marriage when the love part is hard to see, or gone completely. It can/does come back, but only with hard work and committment! :)
I'm all in with OREO!!!
the most important part of our wedding vows was when promised to always work on things together.....to me that's what commitment is, that no matter how hard it gets or what changes we face over the years I'll always try my hardest to work on it, to see his point of view, to show him appreciation and respect, to love him when he's being unlovable....
well said Oreo.....very. well. said.
You guys have all defined it and I co-sign!
Ditto Oreo and Niecy! That's a great definition, Oreo!
This was in our vows, too. And I totally agree with Odessa "the most important part of our wedding vows was when promised to always work on things together"
To me, commitment is both people wanting to make the relationship as happy and as healthy as it can be. Even when life gets tough. You choose to be in the relationship, and you choose to be happy in it. You make one life together instead of two separate lives.
I just had a thought I wanted to bring up because I've started noticing this in couples around us....sometimes couples are prepared to really work hard and come together when times get tough, which is obviously very important. But then they forget to work hard on it in everyday life. I'm starting to think that's the hardest part of keeping a marriage happy, the everyday life. It's so easy to take your partner for granted. Or to get caught up in the ho hum routines, forgetting to take time out for each other, forgetting to show real appreciation for each other, forgetting to do little things to make the other feel special, forgetting to ALWAYS speak with respect, forgetting to still "woo" or "date" them, to really listen to them about their day, feelings, or thoughts, to be sparing with criticism and generous with compliments and thanks.... I think it takes a lot of commitment and hard work to do that every single day for each other when not faced with a crisis that reminds you how important they really are in your life.
I see that so often forgotten and I want to be sure to remind myself
Odessa, I agree. I think if we try and implement little things in our relationships those things will go a long way. I remember my Grandparents never went to bed mad and that may seem cliche but I really love that idea. Pray before you go to bed and you wake up in the monring. Love all or nothing and each person has to give 100% not 50%.
Laura, I completely AGREE 100%
Being a team...working things out together, through the good and the bad...being able to come out on the other side. Looks can't be everything in a relationship...people get old and ugly. :)
I think Oreo and Odessa took the words right out of my mouth! Agreed!