say you find out that you cannot carry your own babbies, whats your plan? adoption? surrogate??
Ugh... I dunno my best friend Ashley used to say when we were younger that she would surrogate for me but I'm not sure what I'd do.
its sooo scary to think!! At first Fi was VERY against adoption (for us, not in general) but the closer we get the more hes open to it. Wed love to have a surrogate, but its soooooo much more expensive if you have to "hire" someone. and I dont know anyone that would be willing to do it for us...or anyone that I trust ya know?
My husband and I joke that we will have my twin sister be our surrogate. I think that would be a messy situation. We're both open to adoption. Our first choice would be a Vietnamese child in the U.S., our second choice would be a Vietnamese child from Vietnam. Obviously, if it gets to that point we won't have first and second choices, we'll just want a healthy baby! I'm glad that we talked about it though. I think for some men it might be the case of "if its not mine, I don't want one." I'm so thank ful DH is not like that.
We are thinking about the Foster to Adopt program.
bluebride-thats exactly how men are!! I think hes worried about all the issues well have and regret it? Hes just worried about not loving it as much, which I know would not happen, but they get scared about the "what ifs" Its totally a sticky situation, id be suuuch a control freak! lol. I'd drive my surrogat craazzzzzzy, especially if it were a friend.
Have you seen the movie Baby Mama? Hilarious, but it does make you scared about surrogacy, although I'm certain a Tina Fey movie should not be used as evidence of the reality of surrogacy. We'd likely adopt, but I'll leave all options open.
we've discussed adoption as our alternative. i don't think either of us would ever be comfortable with surrogacy though
we were actually talking about this tonight. We will adopt after trying for five years. My dad was adopted and I'm all for it if we need to.
oh geeze.....I honestly don't know and I think we've been avoiding the topic for now....I have endometriosis so it's a VERY real possibility that we won't be able to conceive naturally. I'm really not sure how far I'm willing to go to have a child. We weren't even 100% we wanted one until about 6 months ago so I guess we'll see. Obviously I want a baby so bad I can't imagine giving up, but part of me feels like if it's not meant to be it's ok and we'll still be very happy with just the two of us.....Tough conversation that we'll start having if we TTC for a year with no luck.....
I know that there are SO many children in the world who will spend their lives in a foster home or orphanage because there aren't enough parents willing or able to adopt.
DH and I already made the decision to adopt if we can't conceive naturally. We draw the line at fertility treatments of any kind: I know that's a pretty conservative view and it's not for everybody. . .
We haven't discussed it. We are just trying naturally (and would do any treatments that insurance covers, which I believe is stuff like some limited diagnostic, Clomid, and AI, but that's about it). After that, we would have to see what the options were, what the success rate is for each, what the costs are, etc., and then decide what we want to do.
@odessa, I have endometriosis too. I try not to worry about it and just hope it happens like it's "supposed to", but it's hard not to worry. I had a lapropscopy done and my gyno said all of my organs were healthy then, but that was like 5 or 6 years ago, so I can't help but worry that in all this time I've waited that something has happened and I've waited too long.
same here Meanyprice....my last laproscopy they said I was looking good for conceiving, no scarring around the tubes etc....but that was years ago, who knows what it's like in there now! and I'm 30 now....they said I shouldn't wait if I can help it but I wasn't about to rush into having a baby before I was really ready just because they're scaring me.....so like you we're just not thinking of it for now, that will only add stress. I'm ready to accept it either way I guess....we'll see! Good luck to you.....I heard the latest statistic is 80% of women with endo are able to conceive so we have a lot to be hopeful for!
My story is almost exactly the same! I'm 30 also, and after my laproscopy they said the same thing. I had my yearly exam last week and he didn't seem to think it would be a big issue, but you really never know. I've only been off the pill a couple months so I'm not too worried at this point. I was expecting it to take a little bit anyway since I was on the pill for 12 years. I had just forgotten how miserable not being on the pill was with endo. :( Good luck to you too!!
ha oh man I know what you mean! I said we'd better get pregnant soon because I really want to get back on the pill! I was on it for almost 12 years too and it helped a lot. Each month gets more painful now, ugh! The good news is that pregnancy helps with the symptoms even more than the pill so fingers crossed for both of us that it will be quick!
I told the gyno that it better not take long or I was going to start offing ladies named Flo!
Adoption has always been an option for us. I myself am adopted and I even know my biological mom at this point. She is part of our extended family. So my DH is very comfortable with adoption too. Yes, of course we "prefer" to have our own biological children, but we will not wait year and years and years trying before we begin the process of adoption.
wow, so our "plan" is delayed a month since IM sick. blah! one of the reasons im not ready to jump on the adoption train, ive always had pregnancy on this pedastool. adoption is not out of the question, but its going to be harder