Who is actually responsible for planning and paying for the bridal shower???

I wondered who is actually the one that plans and pays for the bridal shower.. Your mom, MIL, bridesmaids??? All of the above? Just wondering who I have to keep an eye on. LOL
Posted on April 23, 2008 at 1:03 pm
Chrissy
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HolyMolyMatrimony
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HolyMolyMatrimony

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My two sisters (MOH's) are doing this for me. I know my mom will probably help financially as well. My BM have helped with decor and invitations. All I have to say is thank god I have my girls!!!

NO ONE on his side of the family has helped with sh*t! Sorry haha for the rant but they have actually bummed me out in this process. Which is weird b/c they love me and we get along so well. My family is 'assuming' that they think my family will take care of everything and not to intrude- but I think thats BS :) That don't even ask hows it going or do I need anything! oooookay I feel better now haha sorry

- HMM :)
Posted on April 23, 2008 at 1:16 pm
WMforever
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06/14/2009
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I think its supposed to be women in your family/friends that care for you to throw it. I don't want my mom to plan it since they'll be planning/paying for the engagment party and a lot of the wedding. I'm going to tell my sisters (bridesmaids) to rally up my bridal party and everyone pitches in to throw it. Im easy to please so it shouldnt cost too much for them. hehe..
Posted on April 23, 2008 at 1:17 pm
MrsTongToBe
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06/28/2008
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Apparently I am crazy. I already bought the invites for mine. I didn't know any better... I've been doing EVERYTHING for the wedding, so when I found cute bridal shower invites, I bought them. I've also discussed having it at my house (we just bought our house so I love having get togethers there) and I've mentioned "oh I'm going to do this, oh I want to do this..." my BM was HORRIFIED that I'd already "done so much".

So, I guess whoever is throwing it pays? I don't know. I feel all awkward about stuff like that. My mom has been kind of hands-off and I don't know if it's due to financial restraints, a busy life or just not knowing any better. My guess is a combo of all three.

*sorry for the mini hijack, I have no one else to talk to about these things!*
Posted on April 23, 2008 at 1:21 pm
d1rtymart1n1
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when i've been a bm, we (meaning the bms) put it together for the bride - we all chipped in for the food, the raffle gifts for the games, the "goodie bags" for all the guests

now that i'm the bride, i told everyone i do not want a shower - apparently i'm crazy also... i just feel wierd having all the fuss about me (but also b/c my bp and all our friends are literally all over the planet it would be hard to nail down a date that everyone could agree on etc...)
Posted on April 23, 2008 at 1:28 pm
beatie
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I don't think the bride's immediate family is supposed to throw the shower unless they're in the bridal party. Any time I've been in a wedding, the entire bridal party pays for the shower and throws it with the MOH being the lead planner. My bm's aren't telling me ANYTHING about my shower...that's hard for me because I'm a planner!! :)
Posted on April 23, 2008 at 1:31 pm
WMforever
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lol @ mrs. tong. I did that too! I bought the invites that my bridal party will send out for my bridal shower. hehe! i also even told my sister what place to suggest the bridal party throw it at (the community center at my other bridesmaids condo complex...its free for her!) that way all they have to do is pitch in for food and goodies etc. Luckily everyones resourcful so it can work.
Posted on April 23, 2008 at 1:32 pm
Chrissy
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Thanks for the advice girls..

Mrs. Tong I am the same way I want to plan mine too, just feel like its alot of responsibility for some, b/c my mom doesnt really have the $$, being she does not work and the only income is from my stepfather!! Besides the fact that she is clueless about this stuff, I wish I had a house to have it in it could be alot less money and just as nice. I am so anal I just want to tell them what/how to do it. My MIL will plan this big expensive thing and then ask my mom for the $ a week before the thing.. Maybe I should talk to her, being I live with her (my MIL)I dont want my mom to feel bad if something like that happens being she wouldnt come to me cause they are gonna try to surprise me I assume, which wont happen either lol..

Your right about not having anyone to talk to b/c all my girls hate me right now b/c they are married and misreable or single and misreable... They are fake happy yah know..:(
Posted on April 23, 2008 at 1:33 pm
HolyMolyMatrimony
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We are the 'brides' so there wants to be a little control in every aspect- haha to an extent. I thought of the message in a bottle idea & kinda the theme and their going from there. I tried not to get involved but I was in the same boat as Mrs.Tong- found them and it all started from there!

I would have LOVED to do it at a house- but no one from his family offered, now were paying an arm and a leg to have it at a restaurant! bummer :( Another thing that my BP has to pay for and deal with. I even had to put the deposit down geeezzz

What would I do without being able to rant to you girls??????
Posted on April 23, 2008 at 1:58 pm
Chrissy
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I know its like a bunch of free psychiatrists...Def. helps at the end of the day
Posted on April 23, 2008 at 2:05 pm
its.nicsknack
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Mrs.TongToBe...I'm right there with you! I bought the invites, filled them out and just sent them yesterday. I'm a natural planner/organizer and I love doing it. My MOH is in the process of Moving and planning her sister's bridal shower that happens to be 2 weeks before mine. We're having it at my house because its the most centrally located for all the guests and has an awesome floor plan meant for parties :) The girls (BM's &MOH's) have it from here, but I can't help but want to be involved with decorating and such. Afterall, its kinda what I do for living.

Typically, the people responsible for planning and paying for the shower is the Bridal party and/or Mom, Grandma, etc.

HTH
Posted on April 23, 2008 at 2:11 pm
theDame
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I was a bridesmaid in a wedding and could see that no one else was stepping up so I threw it and asked the other bridesmaids to chip in- I planned another one for a friend because her MOH/sister lived out of town and the mother financed it all and gave me a very good budget so that one was easy! I always thought it was the MOH's duty
Posted on April 24, 2008 at 2:30 am
*Mandy*
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My MOH paid for mine and my aunt is paying for my other one.

It's more of a gift to me and a kind gesture.
Posted on April 24, 2008 at 5:13 am

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