Who walks my mom?

My parents are divorced and my mom is re-married. The man she is married to I have always tolerated, but have never really gotten along with him. In recent years I have decided that as long as he makes my mom happy I will be happy for her. He is not a bad guy, we have just never really gotten along. It has also always been hard for me because when the pressure of planning their wedding got to be too much they went off and eloped and then waited a week to tell me. My mom now says that she regrets it and even then wanted us there, she just didn't know how to deal with it. He has been very helpful in the planning process in that he keeps reminding my mom that this is my and my FIs day and not hers, so the final decisions should rest with us. That being said, I have always envisioned my brother walking her down the aisle (I think it would be a very nice picture). Recently she asked if her husband can walk her down the aisle, not because he is pushing for it or wants to, but she wants to honor him and now she is using the excuse that she wants to honor her marriage. She was almost willing to compromise by having my brother walk her down with her husband behind them, but has since called and insisted that he walk her down.

What should I do? Should I let her be walked down by him, or should I stand my ground? What is the proper thing to do? Help!

P.S. sorry for the long story, but I wanted to make sure to give enough background. :)
Posted on February 24, 2008 at 5:44 pm
caribear
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(9) Comments

jersey
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I dont understand is your mom in the wedding?
Posted on February 24, 2008 at 6:17 pm
caribear
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My mom will be walked down the aisle before the ceremony "officially" starts, to signify the beginning of the ceremony.
Posted on February 24, 2008 at 6:49 pm
emssk8s
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Its up to you, but I would let her husband walk her down the isle. I am currently using the philosophy with our wedding of letting people do what they want because I don't have much more fight left in me. It sounds like it means a lot to her for whatever reason and you can get pictures of her and your brother later on. Its such a small thing in the grand scheme just let it go.
Posted on February 25, 2008 at 4:21 am
*Wil*
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I'm in the same situation. My brother will be walking her down the aisle.

Can both of them walk her?
Posted on February 25, 2008 at 4:29 am
caribear
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Wilcox~ That is a great suggestion! I suggested it to my mom and she loved it too! Thank you so much for the idea. :)
Posted on February 25, 2008 at 10:30 am
INSUREGRL
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caribear...who's walking you down the isle? your bio-father? i'm in a similar situation and I'm thinking of having my bio mom and bio dad walk me down.
Posted on February 25, 2008 at 4:28 pm
caribear
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insuregrl- My dad is walking me down. My mom at one point asked if she could walk me down too, but changed her mind. My parents have been divorced for almost 20 years and only in the last 5 years have they gotten to the point where they can be around each other for a period of time. So, I wanted just my dad to walk me down. My dad was there for me when my mom's husband became such a problem for me that I moved out of my mom's house and in with my dad (and then step-mom, but they are divorced now too).

I had another idea, but I guess first my question is, do parents usually get announced before the bridal party at the beginning of the reception? I was thinking that my bro could still walk my mom down the aisle and then have my mom and her husband announced for the reception (which then she will be escorted by him).
Posted on February 25, 2008 at 5:20 pm
INSUREGRL
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ahhh...our situation almost sounds similar, but I never lived with my bio dad after they divorced, but he was there. And I wish when I had problems with my SD, that I could of left...so I just had to look forward to college! lol

I will have my parents announced after the wedding party, and before us. We'll have like 4 dad's and 3 mom's. LOL My FI's mom is remarried...oh, our kids will be confused! LOL well maybe not, b/c in this day and age, it's unheard of for parents still together. lol

The last wedding I went to, they didn't even announce the parents...so I guess to each is their own.
Posted on February 26, 2008 at 9:58 am
caribear
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Wow, our situations do sound very similar. I am very thankful that I have my bio dad and my then stepmom, with out them my life may have been very different. My mom did not actually marry her husband until after I moved out (and was even out of high school). I still have a hard time calling the guy my step-dad, to me he is my mom's husband... So that is another dilemma, how to list him in the program, but at least she knows that I don't call him my step-dad.

As for my FIs fam, I won't even go there. My family is actually much easier than his is, if you can imagine that. Part of his family doesn't even know that his dad will be there. He is telling them in the next few weeks so they can be prepared... It will be interesting.

I think I will talk to my mom about announcing she and her husband at the reception, so maybe we can compromise...

Good luck to you!
Posted on February 26, 2008 at 3:02 pm

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