why didnt anyone tell me?

I feel like I've been having a lot of "why didn't anyone tell me?" Moments... so I figured I'd share them with you girls! If anyone has had any of these moments please share!


Why didn't anyone tell me to do some research on breastfeeding?


I stupidly assumed the nurses would be able to show me/tell me what to do-wrong! If you plan to bf I highly recommend finding out what a proper latch looks like, know its normal for it to hurt for a free weeks (even with a proper latch). Make an appointment with a lc (my saving grace), and make sure you have lanolin at home.


Why didnt anyone tell me I'd feel icky for so long?


I don't know why I thought I'd feel like my pre-pregnancy self shortly after birth. Ha! I'm 4 weeks pp and things are getting better everyday but I'm still not there....


Why didn't anyone tell me not to buy a crap ton of Mega pads?


I have no idea why I thought I needed so many! Instead I should have purchased a pack of heavy medium and light.


Why didn't anyone tell me how emotional I'd be?


everyone makes jokes about pregnancy makes you emotional but what about after baby? I was a complete mess! No matter how amazing your baby it's hard not to mourn your old life.


Why didn't anyone tell me to have some supplies at home?


Things I had to go purchase: cabbage (it helped my soar nips along with lanolin), stool softener (seriously a life saver! ) and hand Sanitizer for the changing table.




What do you wish someone would have told you?

Posted on April 3, 2013 at 8:51 am
milkgal
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(20) Comments

DansMrs
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Love this and saving this for future reference!

Posted on April 3, 2013 at 9:22 am
AuntTate
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*Adding hand sanitizer to my list of things for the nursery.......

Posted on April 4, 2013 at 2:03 am
futuremrsgamboa
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Great tips! Thanks for sharing :)

Posted on April 4, 2013 at 3:35 am
shneffer
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I can add a few -Warning: a few of these are very TMI but I know I would have appreciated knowing these things before I had my baby!


I wish someone would have told me:


-that the first bowel movement after baby would be PAINFUL -the nurses gave me stool softeners but I never would have imagined how difficult it would be -I was so scared every time I sat down to go that it took me a WEEK before I actually went -then I felt so much better. I should have bought some stool softeners for home.


Edit: I didn't read Milkgal's post before writing this -I cannot recommend buying stool softeners enough.


-this is going to make me sound awful, but I wish that someone told me that I might not "bond" with my baby right away. When Megan was born she was placed on my chest and it just seemed odd. I guess nothing can really prepare you for it. Of course that feeling went away pretty quickly but I still felt like there was something wrong with me.


-like Milkgal, it took me a LONG time before I recovered from the birth. I tore during delivery and it took me 8 weeks before I could walk normally. Sitting on a bag of frozen vegetables wrapped in a towel helped some but I was always in pain. In all honesty, I'm still recovering and Megan is almost 9 months old! When DH & I dtd, I can still "feel" where my stitches were and it's still a little painful at times. I hope that gets better soon.


-I wish someone told me that feeling frustrated toward baby is normal. I was lucky that Megan was never colicky (I think it's defined as crying for 3 hours, 3 days a week) but she definitely had her moments where nothing I did helped -of course sleep deprivation on my part contributed to my frustration. No matter how many times I told myself "she's just a baby, it's not like she's doing it on purpose" lol there came a point, usually after about 30 mins. of non-stop screaming where all I wanted to do was curl up in a corner and cry as well.


I hope I didn't scare anyone too much -in my experience I felt that dealing with pain from the birth on top of taking care of a newborn was WAY harder than the birth itself. Make sure to ask for help -family, DH, friends. My mom stayed with us for 2 weeks after Megan was born and it was so helpful :)


If anyone has any questions, feel free to ask or PM me!


Steph

Posted on April 4, 2013 at 4:07 am
shneffer
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Hand sanitizer for your diaper bag as well :)

Posted on April 4, 2013 at 4:12 am
milkgal
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Ditto steph- I know we all hear it enough but ask for help! Remember you are recovering and deserve to be waited on!
Posted on April 4, 2013 at 6:09 am
adamsapple
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So saving this thread!!!!  THANK YOU LADIES!

Posted on April 4, 2013 at 6:23 am
prinncessjennifer
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I wish someone told me to trust my mommy instincts. I can't tell you how many times that first month I would second guess myself and stressed out I would get.

The hormones and emotional roller coaster after giving birth is NO joke! And ditto Steph about not bonding with the baby right away

And last I had Post partum depression and not to scare you ladies but if by 7 weeks PP you still feel emotional and off CALL your dr!
Posted on April 4, 2013 at 1:46 pm
Canooknic
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Following on from Steph -

I wish someone had told me that it's ok not to like your children sometimes. Obviously I always love them but there are moments when I have really not liked them!! It was only about 6 months ago when I was having a heart to heart with my Mom & sister that I realised every mom has those moments.
I had felt guilty for 4 years about the handful of times I'd felt like that and now I know it's ok and it doesn't mean that I'm a terrible mother!
Posted on April 4, 2013 at 4:02 pm
dorkmeetsnerd
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oh wow, I knew that breastfeeding was a challenge.  I had no idea that bonding with your baby would also a growing process!  Despite how much I wanted this baby and the lengths I went through to get pregnant, I am curious how I will feel to have someone completely and utterly dependent on me.  I don't have anyone else in my life like that so I can see it being a frustrating experience. 

Posted on April 5, 2013 at 11:33 am
prinncessjennifer
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DMN - that's it! I got frustrated and then I felt guilt for being frustrated so it was a never ending cycle!!!
Posted on April 5, 2013 at 11:58 am
dorkmeetsnerd
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Yeah, it does seem taboo to say you don't bond with your baby right away but it should be talked about and known.  Hoping you are feeling better!

Posted on April 5, 2013 at 12:19 pm
msdl
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Couldn't agree more with what DMN said...it is reassuring to hear that so many of you have gone through these same things in your head. I worry and then feel guilty all the time. And it truly helps to know that everyone has struggles - from pregnancy to labor to five-year-olds. This group is so comforting! :-)
Posted on April 6, 2013 at 12:32 am
prinncessjennifer
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@DMN YES! I started to feel better when Georgie was 2 months (it also helped he started sleeping in longer stretches too!)
You have do much thrown at you all at once and add sleep deprivation and that is enough to drive anyone bonkers!!!! It does seem to be a taboo subject, like if you admit it you are a bad mom.

Just know that things will get easier and you will soon forget all the troubles! IMO the first month was the hardest BUT we all survived and I know a lot was FTM jitters.

I will give this advice: hold and snuggle that newbie as much as you can! Don't listen to anyone that says they will get spoiled that doesn't start until around 6 months when they realize "oh I cry and someone picks me up". And enjoy those snuggles too because those are cherished memories :-) our pedi actually recommends 3 hours of no-feeding snuggle time for all newborns, they need to feel that connection!!! And pretty soon they will be squirmy toddlers that want to do everything themselves :-)
Posted on April 6, 2013 at 3:28 am
milkgal
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I have a few more to add...


Why did anyone tell me to make time for my marriage?


A new baby takes a lot of your time an energy (duh!) and takes that time and energy away from your marriage. Try to schedule some together time even if that means putting the baby down and watching your favorite show together or having someone babysit while you two go to costco. 


Why didn't anyone tell me that I'd be getting a thousand blankets?


I'm not sure if it's the case for everyone else but I've probably received 4-6 homemade blankets. It is super sweet of the ladies in my life to take the time to make a blanket for DD, but I don't know what to do with them because they all seem so delicate! 

Posted on April 8, 2013 at 6:03 am
DansMrs
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@Jenn, use those blankets! They are meant to be used! Coming from someone who has hand made a quilt - it was such a joy to see and hear that my blanket was being used. I learned the same from my MIL who taught me how to sew/quilt - when she makes a quilt or hand knits a blanket she wants it to get used. :)

Posted on April 8, 2013 at 6:49 am
milkgal
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Ashley- you're right! It's just so hard knowing how many hours all these people put in to make Jada these beautiful blankets! I'm sure they'd prefer her to use and abuse them instead of store them in a box forever! 

Posted on April 8, 2013 at 7:36 am
Canooknic
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Milkgal - making time for your relationship is so important! We put the boys to bed at 7pm from when they were 3 weeks old and it has probably saved our relationship! We had a pretty strict schedule because of having twins, and knowing that on those tough days when I was ready to explode that at 7:00 I could have some quiet cuddle time with FI was a god send.
Posted on April 8, 2013 at 9:12 am
prinncessjennifer
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My son uses my baby quilt that my great aunt made me every night - he loves it :) 


Bust out those blankets!  

Posted on April 8, 2013 at 3:02 pm
AuntTate
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oh milkgal......you were so right on everything you said....haha

Posted on May 1, 2013 at 3:39 am

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