why do I get upset over this??

Edit----So, FI's sister will be in Jail until at least Feb. 11th. She can face up to 6 months from what I hear. Everything is all crazy. Anyway, the guy she lives with is the main payer for rent, and he is not on the lease, therefore he can be thrown out at anypoint in time. He still owes $300 for this month. The landlord is allowing him until this Friday to come up with the rest. However, whatever happens there is between him and the landlord. FMIL is taking it amoungest herself, to get FI and a friend to get all of her things out of the apartment. Now, FMIL and her husband have a storage unit and she says she has enough room for the kid's bunkbeds and toys. But doesn't have room for your basic house hold items. Entertianment stand,tv,bed, dressers, kitchen items, mic.,dishes, and the referg is her's as well.
Here's the kicker, now this has not come up yet and I'm afraid it's going to..
FI and I just moved, we have an efffiencey apartment it's just big enough for what we have and for us. We got a storage unit as well for the totes (for when we move again) and other boxes we will have for an actual apartment or house. It's just a small one and since only boxes and totes are being stored we have some room, not alot. I'm afraid someone is going to say something about us putting whatever we can in our unit. I will not be happy about this one bit. Bring it up, FI better say NO. I texted him tonight (he's at work) and told him I'm not willing to do this..

What would you do, if the children's things are being taken care of, and it's the mom's fault (FSIL) to begin with, would you help her keep her things? The kids are ok and taken care of and their things are in the clear.

When FI messed up a few years ago and went to jail, he lost EVERYTHING, no one in his family or ex wife, helped him keep anything. His mom didn't step up and say about putting his things in storage or anything like that. He came home from jail, stayed with his parents for a year, had a job within the week of being home and just now got on his feet. We were with my parents for a little while. But he started over with NOTHING...

My thought is as long as the kids are good and their things are ok and safe. Then I wouldn't worry about her things, she brought this on herself.
Am I wrong thinking like this, especially with the way she treats FI and me. I'm paying for the unit. She'll never pay us back. As far as we're concern she'll be flipping out when she knows we're watching her son..



Thanks for any input.

Posted on January 24, 2010 at 12:30 pm
mayo27
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mayo27

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LadyHope
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LadyHope

LadyHope

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LadyHope

If they ask, just say "I'm sorry, that won't be possible." Don't say why, don't give excuses, just calmly say, "That won't be possible." No matter how many times they ask or how much they pester, give the same answer. It won't be possible. They don't need to know whether it's because your unit is full or you don't want to or whatever. It's just flat out not possible.


If you give a reason they'll just come up with a way around it.


I don't think you're in the wrong. You have no responisibility toward this person, or her belongings. I agree--the kids' stuff is taken care of, which is what really matters. If your FMIL wants to take responsibility for finding the stuff a home, she's welcome to---but YOU don't have to, and don't let her foist the responsibility off on you.

Posted on January 26, 2010 at 7:36 am
mayo27
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Thank you LadyHope... I talked to FH and we're on the same page about the unit, and the same understanding no matter what we can't do it. which we can't since it is small. And this week we're hoping to get a love seat which we will then have to take my hopechest over to the unit.

I am really stressing about FSIL getting out of jail and taking her son out of our lives the way it was before. I'm scared i'm going to get so attached to him. He's such a smart boy and adorable and just "AW"...
The fact we now have an extra mouth to feed barely feeding us, and he's a growing boy who says "I'm hungry" about every 3 hrs and eats pretty good too. I don't want to sound selffish cuz thats the last thing I want to be. It's just very hard trying to take care of ourselves and then adding a 4 yr old in the mix.

thanks for letting me vent and thanks for responding.

Posted on January 26, 2010 at 9:20 am

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