why stop

i have always wondered why stop having sex close to the wedding date, i just dont see a point when 9 out of 10 times i find it extremely good and fun


so maybe if i got why you choose to i could understand

Posted on May 13, 2010 at 5:42 am
NicolenMoe
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tktoups10
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Well I know for some people getting married in church, it's for religious reasons. I've heard that in those pre-marital classes, that they talk about how you shouldn't have sex before marriage. So some people wait as a "sacrifice".

Posted on May 13, 2010 at 5:46 am
Alatiel
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Simple delayed gratification :)


No real reason.

Posted on May 13, 2010 at 2:42 pm
jennypaul87
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Sory of a way to make the wedding night more "special" to some people I think. FI brougt up the idea.

Posted on May 13, 2010 at 4:26 pm
DreamingOfYou
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We have no plans to do that.  I agree...I don't see the point.

Posted on May 13, 2010 at 4:42 pm
akbridehi
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I brought this up to my FI and he laughed at me.  So, we won't be doing this!!  He gets really cranky after a few days and I do not want to deal with that one our wedding trip!  He will probably have to go (GASP!) one whole day without DTD during our trip.  He can't seem to keep his hands off when we are in a tropical locale!  I think it must be the walking around half naked all the time....

Posted on May 13, 2010 at 7:30 pm
sparkles23
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FI laughed when I bought it up as well. Hmmm! We won't be doing that either!  Different strokes for different folks! :/

Posted on May 14, 2010 at 1:12 am
al0626
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we seriously considered it.  i totally see the point, but i am very religious.  here's how my deacon explained it:


say you buy someone the BEST gift in the world and you can't freaking WAIT to give it to them Christmas morning.  well then, when they open it Christmas eve, the anticipation and excitement of waiting for Christmas morning is totally out the window and you just ruined the whole surprise.  


well, it was something like that :)  but i totally get it and am for it, we just aren't doing it!

Posted on May 14, 2010 at 1:22 am
meanyprice
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I can see the deacon's point if the wedding night will be the first time...but if you have already given someone the BEST gift way before Christmas, it seems a little pointless to wrap it back up and give it to them again on Christmas like it's a brand new gift.


 

Posted on May 14, 2010 at 4:49 am
chest173
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super ditto to meanyprice.

Posted on May 20, 2010 at 10:42 am
Mau
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I havent done the dirty with my guy for  5 months!!! Do you think I will stop before the wedding?


5 months of waiting, missing and being horny.... so sorry no,  I am going to do him as much as I can!

Posted on May 20, 2010 at 11:01 am
ChrisNScott
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Religion.  We believe (while it is fun & all that) it is a gift to give your husband/wife. A gift of love, becoming one.  Something sacred husband and wife can share that is shared with nobody else. 


We were togther 4 years, and abstained for 9 months before the wedding, since our first meeting with our priest.


That's my reason :)

Posted on May 20, 2010 at 11:15 am
Mau
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But if you allready done it with the person, it is just like  re wrapping and re gifting the gift.


And yes, it will be special anyway cause  of all the emotions of the day.

Posted on May 20, 2010 at 10:08 pm
meanyprice
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I can see abstaining for religious reasons either for the whole relationship until marriage, or like chrisnscott, after a specific event (like the meeting with the priest) that makes you feel the need to abstain for the remainder of your relationship until marriage for religious reasons.  I completely understand the reasoning for this, and it that's your choice, then I think it's awesome.


I don't really understand the non-religious waiting for like a week/two weeks/month.  I mean, if that's your thing, then go for it, but it's just not mine.  For us, if we were to wait that long, it wouldn't be as good the first time after waiting.  We have had to wait for weeks/months before because he was deployed or at school, and it seems to take a couple times to get back in the groove. 


I agree that it's special the first time you get married whether you've waited or not, simply because of all the emotions that go along with getting married.

Posted on May 21, 2010 at 2:52 am
Mau
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Trust me it is  special even if you have still DTD before the wedding, looking up at my husband smiling and being able to call him my husband was turn on....  How ever having my drunk little brother downstair talking politics with another friend wasnt that fun.

Posted on May 27, 2010 at 1:21 am
lanolinlover
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I joined this group (although stalking for awhile now) just for this topic:) FI and I abstained after becoming saved and rededicated ourselves  to God. For non- religious reasons:


1) Communication- not having sex forces couples to find other ways to express intimacy, comfort each other, and just feel close. When we stopped having sex we realized it was used as a band-aid for alot of issues in our relationship. He had never learned how to express affection without sex. I needed him to learn other ways to say "I love and desire you"


2) Getting out of a rut- If you have been together and doing it for many years routine can set in and this "break" can spice it up your love life. It also gives you time to reflect on your own sexuality, we found so many needs we were not expressing to each other, we were just "doing it". The talking about it without actually having to do anything really gave us freedom to be honest because you don't have to have sex with this person right after your "gentle honesty"


3) Commitment- not having the blessing of this closeness with your partner can really reveal the level of your commitment to each other. When times get tough, is this the person I will turn to, is this the person I will want to be with even when we aren't comfortable? Now some argue why invite temptation, but frankly stuff happens and it is good to know your commitment is stronger than the stuff and on your wedding night you not only celebrate your union but accomplishing all this great stuff together, as a united front.


 All that being said, sex is a miraculous comfort and blessing and staying away too long is dangerous, but each couple has to see what that is for themselves.

Posted on May 27, 2010 at 3:46 am
NicolenMoe
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i agree with what you said lanolin i do think that being together can some times be seen as a way fix things or be close, an your right you don't need it for either to be resolved. i can see the anticipation of waiting


an by all means if you have never been together then i see why your waiting. i get that it is a specail gift only meant for the husband.


an i agree with the others that say there is no point in re-wrapping a gift that has been given.


which is why we are not doing that, purposfully , if we go without it well because to much is going on.


an i agree i think being together for the first time as husband an wife is magical regardless if you stop a few weeks before the wedding or not

Posted on May 27, 2010 at 5:09 am
Mau
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Lanolin: I have spent  months on in another country then my guy, all we ever done is talked, comforted and solved problems so the sex is a great thing now when we can do it.


We have always  talked, we never started out as a love smitten couple, instead we were two friends growning closer and closer over time and trying to ignore it for 2 years.


Solving problems and show affection with out sex is what we are good at.  

Posted on May 27, 2010 at 5:28 am
lanolinlover
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Mau: the fact that you two have that great connection is so heart warming:) Your wedding was lovely and I'm happy for you. I guess in the end it is what works best for the couple. Our communication has strengthened greatly but it took time and the going without helped us, but every relationship is unique and special.

Posted on May 27, 2010 at 5:58 am
Mau
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Yes every  relationship is unique, I how ever wouldnt start a relationship if I couldnt talk to the person. My turn on is the brain not the body.

Posted on May 27, 2010 at 7:55 am
tobeMrsHowze1221
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I just want us to be DYING to tear each others clothes off.....so I think if we wait a while, it will be that much more special

Posted on May 27, 2010 at 8:48 am
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