Bradley Method Moms?

Any Bradley Method moms here?

My mom used Bradley with both mine and my brother's births. My sister used Bradley for my niece's birth. I'd like to do it for this birth, but DH is NOT okay being in the room if he can help it. He says he doesn't want to see me in that kind of pain and he was pretty much raised that it was okay for the father not to be present for the actual birth. I know it might sound odd, but I get it and it doesn't bother me.

What is bothering me a bit is the fact that a) my sister and my mom both live out of state; b) this baby is due very near Christmas.....either my best friend will be out of town or not have any PTO left because of pending travel plans - I haven't told her I'm pregnant yet, but I'm not going to ask her to change plans with her husband/family anyway.

Any ideas? I feel weird asking a stranger, aka. Doula. My mom has already said she wants to be here and I know my sister will want to when we tell her as well, but babies don't exactly come when they are scheduled.....
Posted on May 2, 2013 at 4:01 am
Claire27
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06/19/2010
Claire27

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(4) Comments

milkgal
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09/20/2010
milkgal

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milkgal

I did use any method or take any classes. I just googled some breathing techniques and used those until I got my epi. 


Will your husband stay with you through contractions (assuming he'll be driving you to the hospital when contractions start)? Once I started pushing which would be the most painful part (if your not getting and epi) DH & my mom had to step back and the nurses held my legs and helped me push along with the midwife. So in all honest if he had stepped out of the room it wouldn't have been a big deal if I was okay with him leaving. HTH.

Posted on May 2, 2013 at 5:38 am
kristinkay
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04/05/2009
kristinkay

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kristinkay

We took bradley method classes before my first was born and just reviewed it before my second. I did not have a natural childbirth with my first (long labor with a malpositioned baby that ended in a c-section) but I did with my second. My husband was there for both births.


Honestly I don't think it would be possible to do Bradley Method really without a spouse or partner that was willing to be there throughout the labor. The classes themselves are pretty intense (but amazing) and really helped my husband and I grow together during my pregnancy. They teach your partner what you need during labor and learn about labor so that they can support you throughout pregnancy and then through the different stages of labor. So unless your mom or sister were able to attend classes with you, or if they read the book and you studied it together and then were able to go through some practice labors together then I don't think it would be the best method or route - although I am sure you would get lots of great stuff still from it. But it really does focus on your spouse being your main support person and learning what you need to relax and doing it together. There are lots of great methods out there though with classes that don't rely so heavily on having a partner so maybe that would be the best.


And also I would really encourage you to have your husband talk to other dad's that have supported their wife through labor. I doubt any of them regret it and I think at least for my husband and I it definitely brought us closer together and I know he considers watching his two children being born as some of the greatest moments of his life. And yes I was in incredible pain (I screamed for like two hours when my son was born) but it wasn't scary for him because he knew it was normal and we had incredible supportive providers that were calm and reassuring. And it wasn't just about me - it was about his child too. He wanted to be there not only to do whatever he could do to help and be supportive (and for me some of the things I only wanted him there like doing nipple stimulation during my first labor to help speed up contractions or when I was totally scared and overwhelmed during my second and I just wanted him to hug me) but also because there is nothing in the world like hearing your baby cry for the first time or seeing them open their eyes or whatever. Its incredible and surreal and I cannot imagine not sharing it with my husband.


I also agree with milkgal though that once I was pushing I really just wanted that baby out and I could have had 4000000 people in the room that I did not know and I wouldn't have cared and if my husband left I probably would not have noticed since my eyes were closed and I wasn't really able to talk or anything. But the moment that kid was out I only wanted him. Just something to think about it.


I also adored my doula and if you feel like maybe your husband can't be your main support person than I would highly recommend a doula. It might even be great for you to have one if your husband decides to be there in case it gets too intense for him and he has to step out you know that you will be supported no matter what.

Posted on May 2, 2013 at 10:25 am
Claire27
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06/19/2010
Claire27

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Claire27

Kristen, thank you so much for putting all of this down. I really appreciate it!

My DH and I had already decided to both read any books I bring home or are recommended. I started the Bradley book yesterday and started to freak a bit when I realized that I might not be able to depend on my mom or sister to be there. I showed what you wrote to my husband and he said he hadn't realized how much was involved and he will absolutely be there with me if he needs to. We will do classes and prep just like he is the primary support. That way if no one else can be there, he will be prepared. If my mom or sister can make it work then if he gets overwhelmed he can step out. We will also look into finding a doula just in case. Thank you again for such a complete description of your experience, it really helped a lot!

He did say that under no circumstances will he be "catching" or cutting the cord lol!
Posted on May 2, 2013 at 12:44 pm
shneffer
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07/29/2011
shneffer

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shneffer

I didn't use the Bradley Method -I had an epidural- but my DH had warned me that he might not be able to "handle" the actual birth. I had a doctor, resident doctor and 2 nurses along with my mom and DH in the delivery room. He had to step out a few times, and sat in the corner of the room during Megan's delivery. It didn't really bother me since I was a bit preoccupied ;) he did say that he looked up to see her crowning but then had to leave the room haha. We had already planned on my mom being by my side and she cut the cord. He was with me the entire time during each contraction though, until it was time to for me to push.

Posted on May 2, 2013 at 2:40 pm

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