Hubby says no to maternity pics :(

Who is planning on doing maternity pictures? I have always wanted to and assumed my husband would agree, but apparently he thinks it's a complete waste of money. It sounds bad, but I guess he doesn't think anyone really wants to see pics of my big belly. He has no problem with newborn or family pictures, but says no to maternity. At first I thought it was just cost so I found someone much cheaper, but nope. It must be my hormones because it really upset me.

It annoys me mostly because we took engagement pictures two years ago (which we spent a fortune for) and he absolutely loved them. Should I just let go of the idea and do newborn pictures only? What would you ladies do?
Posted on June 22, 2013 at 12:35 pm
dennys
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dennys

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(9) Comments

pavez19
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07/14/2012
pavez19

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pavez19

I understand why it upsets you...:(. Is there anyway to change your DH mind?


On the other hand, I'm also understanding is point of view, since it's also mine. Actually, I found maternity pictures very beautiful, but I wouldn't do them (very personal view). They are very beautiful memories but what are you doing with them afterward? I would feel pretty incomfortable hanging a picture of my belly on my wall...But again, this is me.


Maybe when I'll be pregnant with my 2nd child, I'd love to do a family shoot while pregnant so this could be a way to keep memories of my belly....we'll see.

Posted on June 23, 2013 at 1:43 am
chrissyrenaegray
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03/10/2012
chrissyrenaegray

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chrissyrenaegray

Ultimately, you need to find out what his reasons are for not doing the maternity shoot.  There could be some options:


1)  If you haven't already revealed to everyone what you're having, you could do a gender reveal shoot.  It's fun and it serves a purpose, if that's what he's concerned about.


2)  You could have a friend do the photos in exchange for a dinner or something like that.  That way if money is the issue, then it's understandable.


3)  You could show him some inspiration maternity pics to see what he thinks.  To me, maternity pics are a lot like engagement pics--they show the excitement and joy of two people on the verge of something huge. It could be that he hasn't seen some of the inventive stuff that people can do.


4)  You could do the maternity pics by yourself--still let him know, obviously, but he wouldn't have to be in the pictures.  It stinks, but it could be done.


No matter what, you need to talk to your husband about it and see what his misgivings are, and then respect his thoughts on it.  


As far as what we're doing, we're actually doing three different shoots.  The first one will be a gender reveal that my sister is setting up (so it will be free other than the cost of the supplies and it will allow her to do something special since she didn't have much of a part in our wedding); we will get the gender results sealed in an envelope and hand it off to her with some money to buy powdered tempera paint (pink if it's a girl, blue if it's a boy).  After she has done that, on a day that DH and my sister have off, we will go somewhere, close our eyes, and my sister will hand us the paint.  While we still have our eyes closed, we'll sling the powdered paint at each other, and then eventually open our eyes to see if we're covered in pink or blue.  All the while, my sister will be taking pictures of the paint fight and our reactions--it's still a surprise, and it will be a cool way to have pictures to reveal to everyone else.  We are also doing a maternity shoot and a newborn shoot with the same woman who did our engagement pics and wedding pics--we won a full session with her, and we're paying her for the newborn shoot.


 

Posted on June 23, 2013 at 1:54 am
dorkmeetsnerd
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09/26/2009
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Is he against being in the pictures or is he against all maternity pictures?  Honestly, I do find maternity pictures with the husband's hand of the belly just simply cheesy or worse, he's kissing the belly.  That's just me.  The dads to be almost always look awkward.  DH tried to look for non cheesy pics of expecting couples but in the end refused to be in any maternity pictures.  So instead he just took my picture.  I wanted maternity pics of myself for myself and to show LO when he's older.  But I also refuse to put my hand on my belly. 


I do think you should have them if they mean that much to you, even if it's just you and not with DH.  9 months is such a fleeting moment in a woman's life, and more so with a nice bump.  So it would be nice to have a something to look back at. 

Posted on June 23, 2013 at 10:41 am
Jenny521
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05/21/2010
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I don't blame ya, and I agree with the other ladies... try to find out why he really feels they are a waste of money. And then I would explain to him why they really mean a lot to you. Photos may seem like a waste of money at the moment (they can be expensive and sometimes sticker shock does hit you!), but I don't know many people who regret spending that money. A first pregnancy is such a special time.. and if it's important to you to document it, hopefully he'll come around. :)

Posted on June 23, 2013 at 1:54 pm
DansMrs
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06/23/2012
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I agree, I would find out the root of why he doesn't want to do them. I hear from so many women who didn't get them done that they regret it. It's such a special amazing moment in your life - why not document it? And just think about years down the line when your LO is older, you can sit down with them and show them the photos of when they were in your tummy. To me they were priceless and a must.

Posted on June 24, 2013 at 3:33 am
msdl
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05/28/2011
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msdl

I can see both sides, for sure! 


We were kind of on the fence about doing them, and ended up having them done during our very brief baby moon. I agree with Ashley (DansMrs) that I have heard from many ladies who didn't take them and later regretted it. Many second-time mommies have told me that they are determined to do it after missing out on their first pregnancies. 


I will say that while the photos are wonderful to have, we had to order prints from our photographer as part of the package and I'm kind of wondering what we will do with them! We put one small photo in the nursery, and gave our moms each a print. I will probably put a couple photos in our baby book. We *may* hang one upstairs or in our bedroom, but...other than that? I think they will just be for us to have and show baby boy some day. So all of that is to say - I can see where the expense can be hard to justify. 


If your DH absolutely won't budge, maybe you can persuade him to do a family newborn session once your LO arrives. We did not plan to do one and now it is out of our budget :-( Our plan was just for me to take some photos with my DSLR, but it would be nice if someone else was handling it for us.

Posted on June 25, 2013 at 2:11 pm
Serenity57
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05/07/2011
Serenity57

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I didn't get them taken (just waited too long) and I REALLY regret it. Maybe you can explain to your hubby that this is such a magical and exciting time for you. I'd love to look back and see my big belly and know that my little angel was actually in there at one time. I don't think men can fully understand how special this time is for women and I feel that it needs to be documented! Make sure he knows that you want them for YOU, and no one else. If it's a financial issue, maybe you could have a friend or family member take some non-pro ones? Just having any type of pictures would serve as a special reminder of how it was to be pregnant with your little sweetie. :)

Posted on June 25, 2013 at 3:31 pm
jackieg
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04/17/2009
jackieg

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I didn't think I wanted them, but changed my mind...thankfully a fellow photog was able to take them for us. We didn't do any "bare belly" shots...not a fan of those....we did them right before the holidays and included our dogs...so it was more like just a fun family shoot. And, I have to ask, why does he get final say??
Posted on June 26, 2013 at 3:26 am
dennys
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08/12/2011
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Oh he doesn't get final say. He usually is pretty open to my ideas, but for some reason this time he is not. If I went out and got them done alone he would probably get over it quickly. But I also don't want to force him to take pictures that he doesn't want, know what I mean? That's why it upset me. I think we will just have a friend take pictures of us at the botanical gardens and call it a day. It would be better than just having all my bathroom mirror pictures anyways :).

He is much more excited about the idea of doing a family session once baby is a little older, with us three and our dog. And he is also looking forward to doing the newborn pictures, just I guess he thinks three professional photo sessions is overkill.
Posted on June 26, 2013 at 5:23 am

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