My BF Reality
When Blake was born and they put him on my chest, the little man made his dad proud by basically going right for my boobs so I stupidly thought this breast feeding thing was going to be a piece of cake........haha oh how wrong I was.
Like I said in my birth story, my day nurse was of no help in any manner and she certainly didnt keep track of whether my nursing was going well or not.
Well when we finally got home, Blake was a nightmare to nurse. He would latch on for like 3 seconds and then let go and then he'd just cry, well scream basically. I had many nights of crying myself thinking oh my god, I can't even take care of my own son because he's so upset and frustrated.
Well I finally got my electric pump and found out what my be part of the reason, when I pump every 2 hours, I only get around an ounce of milk. Turns out not only was Blake a lazy eater, (Blake actually refuses my nipple now, if I even try to nurse him I have to use a nipple guard for him to even attempt to latch on) he wasn't getting enough to begin with. So now I pump all day long to just get a 5 oz bottle of milk that I feed him at night and then he gets formula all day long.
My moral.........this shit is hard.......you will cry because you feel like you can't feed your own child.....as much as I would love to BF him every time he eats, it's not practical in our situation, I dont want to starve him just to "prove a point." So I pump every 2 hours (as close as I can, sometimes it's not possible) to get enough to feed him one bottle. He eats almost 3 ozs at every feeding, in the middle of the night I have to use my manual pump to give him some "fresh squeezed" because he'll run out of milk before he gets up in the morning.
I've had a really hard time dealing with the fact that I've had to use formula but luckily DH knows I've tried my hardest to BF him (I'm actually tearing up now just typing it, it's been hard.......holy shit no one warns you about the emotions haha. I am a million times more hormonal now than I ever was pregnant.) and my entire family has been sympathetic and supportive.
So if you have a hard time, hang in there. I tried for 3 days with Blake and him screaming all night long. That first night I gave him formula before bed, he slept 5 hours that night, it's like he was finally full and just exhausted from being fussy.