Your First Week Home

Does anyone else have a family that they already know their first week home is going to be hell because no one is going to leave you alone?  I said to DH last night that when we finally get to leave the hospital and come home that I'd like for us to be left alone for a week to settle in and all that and he looked at me like I was smoking something because we both know that'll never fly with either family.  It's something I'd like to at least be able to get through the first few days without having people up my butt.  Anyone else feel this way?  Or 2nd time moms had this happen the first time around?  Am I wrong for wanting a little time to ourselves?

Posted on October 22, 2012 at 3:12 am
AuntTate
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(11) Comments

Canooknic
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This is obviously just my opinion but you need to be very firm right now!! Give them all a chance to get used to the idea instead of leaving it until bubba arrives.

Our parents visited every day for the 3 days I was in hospital, and then they didn't see us for 5 days. I made it very clear that this was a time for us to be our own little family and to adjust to our new lives. I promised them that if we needed anything that they would be the first to know, but otherwise they weren't to visit until the following weekend. We arranged for everyone to come round for nibbles and champagne to celebrate properly.

Those 5 days were wonderful. We stayed in our PJs, napped and enjoyed being parents (although it was totally terrifying!). I had a difficult labor (x2!!) so wasn't feeling great either - the last thing I needs was the pressure of having to be pleasant to people!! Lol By the time everyone came to visit the painkillers had worked their magic and I was ready to get dressed and have photos taken!!

We also had a sign made that said 'Mommy & babies doing well but napping - please do not disturb' that we put on our front door. We only lived 2 minutes away from our work so I was worried that people would turn up during their lunch breaks etc.
Posted on October 22, 2012 at 4:46 am
prinncessjennifer
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prinncessjennifer

I'll share my story, haha! 

Birth - I only had DH in the room during the birth and I loved that, we got to bond as a family first and then had visitors.  I had my son at 9:13 pm and I called my mom to come up around 10:00 pm (first grandbaby!) and we all live fairly close and bonus she bought me food :) 

Hospital stay - try and have as many people see you there, it's easier there then when you are home.  Plus, it is so friggin borning in the hospital the visitors helped pass the time.  Also, DH would leave to go home and shower etc when there people there so I wasn't alone.  Extra bouns: They bring gifts and flowers!  We had baby on Monday, left on Wednesday afternoon.  Those were the longest 2 days of my life!  DH and I joked it was like the Twlight Zone cause it felt like 3 weeks. 

Home - I didn't want ANYONE over, the first 2 weeks really are so super hard.  You have a new baby, the hormones (good lord are those no JOKE!) and if you plan on breastfeeding you are pretty much nakey from the top up all day.  I was pretty firm with no visitors and I'm usually a huge pushover but once I became a mama the 
b!tchness came right out lol.

But seriously I had a really, really hard time adjusting to motherhood.  I had all these emotions running through my head and the last thing I wanted to deal with was playing hostess to guests.  Plus the exhaustion is.no.joke - there is no way to prepare for it!  But there are some of my friends that loved having their mom's stay with them the first week or so...me not so much.  Once our son was born, we (DH, George and I) became a family and I wanted us as a family to settle and try (lol) to figure out this parenthood thing.


Be firm about what you want!  If it's no visitors then so be it!!!  You have to do what is best for YOUR family - people will understand :)

PS: The amount of advice you will get on what to do, how to do it etc is over whelming.  Best advice - just smile, nod and say thank you. 

Posted on October 22, 2012 at 5:00 am
prinncessjennifer
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prinncessjennifer

@Canooknic - we posted almost the same thing lol!

Posted on October 22, 2012 at 5:03 am
AuntTate
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I think once we get closer to the arrival, I may have to start dropping my plan to everyone.  I just don't want everyone to think I'm being a biotch but DH won't be home with me the entire time I'm off on maternity and I dont want to share that time he is home with 300 people stopping over.  I kind of hope that we deliver on a Friday and then are at the hospital on the weekend when people can visit and then go home during the week when people are at work haha. 

Posted on October 22, 2012 at 5:55 am
futuremrsgamboa
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I know I'm gonna be the same way. As far as the hospital goes, I don't think I'll mind the visits, but when I'm home in my grubs and I smell like baby poop and puke, I'm probably not gonna be an angel to visitors! haha. But like if close family offers their help like with meals or whatever, then I'll accept :P


Hopefully our family and friends understand :)

Posted on October 22, 2012 at 7:10 am
prinncessjennifer
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prinncessjennifer

Oh and I totally ignored the phone as well and then days later give a lame excuse BUT it works!  Just say cranky baby and all is forgiven :)

Posted on October 22, 2012 at 8:12 am
Canooknic
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Oh I forgot about the phone!! We turned the ringer to silent and then listened to any messages in the evenings!! I still try the grumpy-baby excuse, but it's not so easy now they're 4!!!

It's amazing how brave you become once that momma-bear instinct kicks in - I have no problem telling people what I do/don't want when it comes to my boys now....before they were born I was worried about upsetting people but now I have a 'suck-it-up' attitude!! If they don't like it then they don't have to see us at all!! Lol
Posted on October 22, 2012 at 8:29 am
olga21
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We will not be having any guests over (for the exception of my mom) for 2 weeks. Our families live really far away (most of thrm in Europe lol). He is going to be born in November and the family will visit for Christmas :) It will nice to have that time alone with DH and our baby.
I made it VERY clear to all of our friends that we do not want visitors for a few weeks and no one who is sick is gonna be allowed to come through the door (lol). Sorry, but I do not need sick people near our newborn. People have been very understanding.
My sister did the same with both her kids. It is a very important bonding time for a family so do not feel bad.
Worst comes to worst, you can always decline guests by saying you do not feel good and want to stay in bed. Be firm because it is your right.
Posted on October 22, 2012 at 11:08 am
clipscomb1987
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Our first 5 days Alexis was in the NICU so no one other then grandparents could see her :( once we got home we had a few visitors but nothing out of control, I didn't mind it at all, I enjoyed showing off my Pride and joy :)

I think I'll be even less worried this time around because I won't be bringing home baby in the middle of flu season.
Posted on October 22, 2012 at 3:59 pm
dorkmeetsnerd
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09/26/2009
dorkmeetsnerd

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dorkmeetsnerd

I think most of my friends and family know not to badger for a visit that early. I usually waited a month before asking to visit. But I also know that I will want my sister and/ or parents staying with us that first week. I just imagine DH and I wanting to focus solely on baby and my recovery rather than making dinner or cleaning. In that area, I don't mind close family coming to see us.
Posted on October 23, 2012 at 9:52 am
kristinkay
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kristinkay

I was actually the opposite and didn't really want anyone except immediate family visiting in the hospital - I felt gross and I wasn't in my own space and I just wanted to be home. Once we got home I was good with people coming over - we had lots of visitors, but I was only annoyed when people stayed too long or did not leave when it was meal time so I felt obligated to offer to feed them (or wait to eat myself which is not so good with a new mama.) I would say just be relaxed about it and put your husband on kicking people out duty - have him prepare a couple of reasons why people need to leave and just have him ready to tell visitors that you aren't feeling well, that the baby has trouble sleeping around people, that he is putting you to bed now that the baby is sleeping, etc.

Posted on October 23, 2012 at 4:50 pm

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