How much time do you spend together?

DH and I both work during the day, I'm home around 4pm and he usually comes back around 6pm so most of the time we don't eat together and if either of us has plans to see friends or something we don't see each other until like 9pm. Sometimes it feels like we never spend any time together apart from the weekends when we have a little more time, but I work most Saturday's too.

Does anyone else feel like this? How much time would you usually spend together, do you eat together, etc.
Posted on August 11, 2011 at 5:49 am
thisiscooling
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thisiscooling

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(8) Comments

carolinawedding
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03/19/2011
carolinawedding

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:/ yup! Story of our freaking lives.


I get up at 5:00am to walk the dog and by the time I get back he's leaving for work. I get home at around 6:30 and he doesn't get home until after class/studying which is usually 11:00pm or so. By then I'm typically asleep so we'll chat a little and then go to bed. Just in time to start it all over again.


He finishes school in April, but I'll be starting my MBA in January so this cycle is going to continue for a while. We rarely eat dinner together!


We've found its much easier if we devote a weekend to one another every once and awhile. Sometimes we'll go all day without kissing, and that's kind of the sign we need to work on that.

Posted on August 11, 2011 at 9:36 am
aswan87
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07/30/2011
aswan87

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My DH works for a Grocery store that is open 24 hours a day 7 days a week and his hours reflect that. If he closes i don't see him at all but when he opens or has a mid day shift i see him at night but our dinner schedule is never the same. Sometimes we see each other for 5 minutes actually being awake and his schedule is never normal so us getting a day off together is extremely rare.


I am going to try now a little bit harder knowing when his days off are because before the wedding i had a habit of making plans for an entire saturday and he would have the day off as well and it was kind of a bummer because we could have spent the day together but didn't.


 

Posted on August 12, 2011 at 4:17 am
doolittlebride
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10/03/2010
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LOL, my DH works for himself during the week (independent IT tech) and I am a wedding photographer on the weekends!  It's a nightmare trying to schedule time together as we work so opposite of each other.  I have clients that want to meet with me after work (of course) so I sometimes don't get home until 10. He finishes up around the same time most offices close (5-7).


We have set aside Wednesday nights as our date night. I "get off early" and don't meet or shoot on Wed evenings.  Sometimes we get Sunday nights together by default but that's about it.


We are now scheduling at least two trips a year together - just the two of us.  Even if they are low budget, just 3-4 days to get away together even in our own state or next door. We just got back from NYC (part business for me, part for us) and will go to Disney after Thanksgiving.


I specifically try to get a hug and kiss from each day - usually it's in the morning but sometimes at night. ;)

Posted on August 19, 2011 at 6:45 am
junebride2be
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06/30/2012
junebride2be

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I feel you @thisiscooling...Although FI and I don't live together, I don't think we would spend anymore time together than we due now because our his work and my work & school schedule...We spend time together on the weekends, but it's usually towards the evenings once we have ran our errands and such. I hope we have more time for eachother once the wedding passes...

Posted on August 19, 2011 at 7:16 am
GatorBride
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Sometimes I think we have a little too much time together! Lol... Both of us really enjoy our "me" time, and it's hard to get that when we're both on similar schedules. But lately I'm home for an hour or so before he gets in in the evenings, since his schedule changed a bit recently. I get my decompression time in then, so I have to try hard to give him some space when he gets in as well. 


But we definitely have times when we're both really busy and get to feeling disconnected. Unfortunately, our responsibilities don't go away no matter how busy we are, so sometimes our time "together" consists of cleaning the house together, working in the yard together, washing the cars, etc. It gives us a shared focus and allows for some chatting and generally puts us both in a better mood than if we would have done those things alone. We also try to exercise together (run, ride bikes, etc) when we're crunched for time. It's better than doing it separately and having even less time to hang out (plus makes us both happier).


Like doolittle, we've also started consciously planning for little getaways (even just a weekend at the beach, an hour away). I've read that it's good for your marriage to have something in common to look forward to, and so we've really tried to keep shared goals/events in our line of sight (we have short, intermediate, and long-term goals that we discuss frequently).

Posted on August 25, 2011 at 12:21 pm
scgirl
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I work out of town 8 days straight about 200 miles from our apartment, so I stay with a co worker who lets me crash at his place. 


I do get 6 consecutive days off, but then the DH is at work from about 8-6ish so I usually am doing errands all day while I am home. I havn't been home in 3 weeks though due to my hectic work schedule...I really hate being so far from DH and not even getting to go to sleep next to him every night :(

Posted on August 30, 2011 at 3:56 pm
Lilivati
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Lilivati

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Mostly I feel like we have -too- much time together.  My husband is perfectly happy and sees nothing wrong with spending every waking second when we are not at work together.  I, on the other hand, need time to myself when I am truly alone- i.e. not being interrupted every ten minutes, not on the far side of the couch, but actually alone.  I had to teach my husband that when I say I need to be alone, I mean not just from everyone else.


He is still not really good about providing me this time, and now that we're both working and I leave before him and get home after him even 20 minutes of alone time while I got ready in the morning is no longer happening. :-/  It's kind of bad for my mental health.  He sometimes thinks it's that I don't want to spend time with him, but the truth is it helps me to be a better wife and friend to him.  This is especially true right after I get home- I need to be away from people and decompress, and all he wants to do when I walk in is cuddle me, because he's already decompressed.


But it's a work in progress, and I think we're both getting better at being responsive to each other's social needs. :)

Posted on August 31, 2011 at 7:41 am
Sammy_D
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09/10/2011
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DH travels A LOT for his job. He's a construction supervisor for a heavy/highway company, and he mostly oversees bride rebuilds...so he pretty much has to go where there are bridges that need work. He's been on a state job 5 freakin hours away since before Thanksgiving, and will probably be there a few more months. He comes home on the weekends, but he doesn't get back until late Friday night and usually leaves later Sunday evening so he doesn't have to get up at 3 am the next morning to get there. I'm not going to lie, it's getting old and its' very frustrating at times but we don't reall have other options with this economy. His job pays very well and we are lucky to have jobs. We talk on the phone a few times a day when he is gone and spend as much time together as we can on the weekends. I just keep my fingers crossed that the next job is closer to home!

Posted on February 9, 2013 at 11:42 am

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