What's your response?

"When are you having kids?"




"Oh I bet you'll your change your mine.  You'll probably be pregnant with your second in 5 years"


 


 


"You don't want to be an old mom"/ "You'll change your mind and you don't want to be an old mom"


 


 

Posted on February 16, 2011 at 5:20 pm
inspiritedbeing
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(12) Comments

inspiritedbeing
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inspiritedbeing

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"When are you having kids?"


Not for quite a while. Maybe 6 years. We're in no rush *insert "this convo is over smile and tone*


"Oh I bet you'll your change your mine.  You'll probably be pregnant with your second in 5 years"


 *awkward laugh* No, we are pretty set on our plan. We decided together a long time ago.


 


"You don't want to be an old mom"/ "You'll change your mind and you don't want to be an old mom"


I was unaware that 40 is too old to be a mother to a 10 yo successfully. We want a solid marriage and to be very financially comfortable to be able to give our children everything, unlike a "young" mom.


Posted on February 16, 2011 at 5:28 pm
carolinawedding
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carolinawedding

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"When are you having kids?" If ever, not until we're approaching 30.




"Oh I bet you'll your change your mine.  You'll probably be pregnant with your second in 5 years" Not if I have any say. And seeing as how it's my uterus, I have a LOT of say. There's just too much I want to do before I settle down and start popping children out. I'm not a breeding mare. 


 


"You don't want to be an old mom"/ "You'll change your mind and you don't want to be an old mom" My mom was 32 when she had me, and FI's mom was about the same age with him. Wtf will I be doing differently if I'm a little older? You're right, who wants to be established in their career, have a strong marriage foundation, and be more mature before they have kids. That'd be stupid. And as far as any complications, like I said, my mom was in her 30's with me and 36 with my brother. And you know what? We are both much, much smarter than you.


Yeah, I've actually had to say this to people. I typically try to be polite, but I can't stand people telling me what I should do.

Posted on February 17, 2011 at 1:01 am
LadyHope
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Fortunately we haven't had this a lot yet. We don't want them for several years, which we will say openly. Honestly if someone said the "old mom" thing I would laugh. My mom had my sister at 35 and me at 37, and I'm pretty sure I was an "oops" baby. ;) I'm not concerned about decresed fertility in my "elder years". :P

Posted on February 17, 2011 at 7:13 am
inspiritedbeing
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I think I need a little Layla to keep in my pocket to help me through these conversations. 

Posted on February 17, 2011 at 9:16 am
LadyHope
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I think we all need a pocket-sized Layla. :)

Posted on February 18, 2011 at 1:34 am
adamsapple
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Amen Layla.

Posted on February 18, 2011 at 2:27 am
LadyHope
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People who ask those questions never consider that hey, maybe they DO want kids but can't have them for some reason! How insensitive to people with fertility issues.


Of course, you could always respond with a crushed look and say, "I can't have children. It's such a sensitive topic, it really hurts me that you'd bring it up." Add in a few tears.


They don't have to know that the reason you "can't have children" is because you'd eat them or you know better than to inflict the world with little versions of yourself. ;)


Maybe then they'd feel horribly guilty and think twice before asking the next person.

Posted on February 18, 2011 at 3:37 am
GatorBride
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"When are you having kids?" We're, um... Not.


"Oh I bet you'll your change your mine.  You'll probably be pregnant with your second in 5 years" People have stopped saying this to me since I'm old and all. ;) I've found that once you're in your 30s, people start having some concept that you might not be having kids because you can't (which I don't know to be the case with us - we just don't want to). Of course, there is always the stray idiot who will still push the issue, but I just give them the look:


When are you having photo 2720243-1 ... Not usually while holding a shot, but you get the idea.


"You don't want to be an old mom"/ "You'll change your mind and you don't want to be an old mom" Again, haven't heard this one in a while :)

Posted on February 18, 2011 at 4:02 am
carolinawedding
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I need to practice that look.


At first, you try really really hard to be nice to people about it. But when EVERY conversation about weddings turns to kids, it pisses me off. For example:
"Why do people keep asking me if I'm going to have kids?"
"Well, you're getting married. Kids come after that."
"That's dumb. You're married (again...) and have kids. But you don't see me asking you when you're gonna retire and die."


MurphNoMore also suggested the sad eyes with the "we can't have kids" comment. I need to try it, at least once. I think it would really solve the problem. Oh, and also asking, "Look, think about it seriously. Think about what you know about me. Do I have any business having the responsibility of another human life in my hands?"

Posted on February 18, 2011 at 4:25 am
msdl
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LOL @ Gator's "look"! I know I give that same look, but it's with raised eyebrows! :-)


I hear the second one ("Oh, you'll change your mind...") EVERY.SINGLE.TIME someone asks about it. I just hold a very I-hope-you-see-how-annoying-your-comments-are smile for several seconds, and change the subject.


As for the old comments -- I'm already "old" at 31, so people assume we are going to start trying right away. They get completely flustered when I calmly tell them, "Nope, and we aren't worried about it at all."


 


 

Posted on February 18, 2011 at 4:27 am
em724
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When are you having kids?"


Ummm, never. 


I really say,  "Jeremy and I do not want to have kids."


"Oh I bet you'll your change your mine.  You'll probably be pregnant with your second in 5 years"


 I have felt this way for 10 years, I doubt I'll change my mind.


"You don't want to be an old mom"/ "You'll change your mind and you don't want to be an old mom"


Well here's the thing, since I don't want to be a young mom I certainly don't want to be an old mom ;)

Posted on February 18, 2011 at 9:31 am
Ambrosia
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Them: "When are you having a BAAAAYYYYYYBEEEEEE?"


Me: "What the F___ is a baby?!"


As referenced in this awesome video from Man Stroke Woman.


 

Posted on March 7, 2011 at 2:39 pm

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