Who else just just feels they missed the boat?

Hey ladies,  I just found this group and I may need a lot of moral support.  Some of you know I just got married four months ago and now the questions begin of course.  I have been feeling a little sad lately because with the horrible economy, we might not be in a position to have the financial ability (I mean, we can barely support ourselves right now, ya know?) to have children because...


With one possibly small difference from the rest of you:


We're OLD! ;o)


I am 39m -turning 40 in a few short weeks - and DH is 48.  We may have missed the boat. We met late in life and while he has not felt the bio clock ever, I have felt it all my life but I'm worried now that I may never get to have children because by the time we can (responsibly, financially) it may be too late.  He is not opposed and would make a wonderful dad but cannot fathom bringing up children with the finanical ramifications.


I've considered talking to our couple's counselor to just get my feelings out and well, feel sorry for myself.


Anyone here like that?


 

Posted on February 25, 2011 at 11:22 am
doolittlebride
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doolittlebride

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(3) Comments

msdl
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msdl

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msdl

Aw, Doolittle...I wish I had words of wisdom, but I am in a different situation. BUT -- I just wanted to let you know that someone out here heard you :-) I definitely think you could talk to your couple's counselor about this. It wouldn't be feeling sorry for yourself at all! This is a real, legitimate concern for you and I bet it would help tremendously to share your feelings. In the meantime, we are here if you need to talk or get anything out!

Posted on February 25, 2011 at 5:06 pm
GatorBride
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I hear you too! I can't say we're in the same situation, but I totally applaud and admire the care with which you're looking at decisions about family (I wish more folks did). I don't think it's a matter of feeling sorry for yourself - your struggle is legitimate and I'm glad that you have a good outlet to express those feelings. I think it will only help you sort through your emotions healthily. Thank you for sharing with us; hope you know that we're here & you can always PM me if you'd like to chat... Hugs!


 

Posted on February 26, 2011 at 2:39 pm
LadyHope
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Ditto GatorBride--it is definitely admirable that you are choosing to be responsible about this. And if you think it would help you, I'd definitely say talk to your counselor about it--sometimes it helps to have a neutral 3rd party to talk things out with. Not only can they help you sort through your feelings but they might also have some practical suggestions or resources for you to investigate--either regarding fertility at an older age or to help you get on your financial feet sooner.


Age isn't so much a concern for us but I definitely wonder sometimes if we'll ever be financially stable enough to have kids. I know that you don't HAVE to have things like a house, savings, retirement, etc. lined up before having kids, but it seems like the responsible thing to do--make sure you're as secure as you can be before introducing another human to the picture!

Posted on February 26, 2011 at 6:54 pm

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