Why we're waiting

Well, the first is obvious: Have you met me? No one wants a little me running around the planet. Just how it goes.


I'll preface the post with a fun little story. I'm working back at the plant now, and haven't seen most of the guys for about a year. I get the "Have you finally run that boyfriend off?" a lot, too. Once everyone realized that not only had FI packed his bags in the middle of the night and left me a sticky note saying "See ya!" and had instead asked me to spend the rest of my life with him, I get this response:


You're too young.


wtf? Yes, we know we're young. Ish. But I think that's the beauty of *our* relationship and why we're waiting for (or possibly not even having) kids.


I like the idea that when you're in your 20's and early 30's, you're still young and have so much life and energy. And that you have someone to spend those years with. And that I don't have to worry about changing diapers, feeding, or just the responsibility of another life that totally depends on me. FI's still working on his electrical engineering degree, and we won't be "stable" enough for a long time. And, I'm vain and lazy. (right now, you're probably all hoping I don't ever have kids.)


So, why are you all waiting? What's the allure for just having the two of you?

Posted on January 12, 2011 at 11:57 pm
carolinawedding
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carolinawedding

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(9) Comments

LadyHope
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01/01/2011
LadyHope

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LadyHope

Kids are damn expensive. We are not anywhere close to being financially capable of caring for a child. Until we get our bucks in a row (hehe) then no babies.


Also, I have just in the last couple of years begun to feel capable of caring for myself. Now DH and I have to figure out if we're capable of supporting ourselves as a couple, and maybe in a few years we'll finally be at a place where we feel capable of caring for someone else.


Plus... kids are huge responsibility. Here is this little person and you are responsible for shaping them into a decent, kind, respectable human being. Talk about pressure!!!

Posted on January 13, 2011 at 3:40 am
inspiritedbeing
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05/21/2011
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inspiritedbeing

My parents got married really really really young. My mom was freshy 18, and my dad had just turned 20. But they waited 6 years to have kids and I've never seen a couple so happy and in love 32 years later. They owned a company that had its moments of high stress and I always contributed their marital happiness due to the fact that they waited. I always wanted to be married at least 5 years before I started TTC. 


When I was a teen I went to an abstinence lecture where this guy compared relationships to building a tower from popsicle sticks and glue--you have to wait for the glue to dry on the level below until you build up or else EVERYTHING will come toppling down. He also explained that his wife was the #1 thing in his life and he ALWAYS put her first, before his kids and his job. If you put your kids first and your marriage suffers you will get divorced and then your kids suffer. I never forgot that advice. I want the strongest marital base possible before I add kids in the mix. 


 


Besides that we are young, and we love just being a couple. We love that we can go on weekend trips at the drop of a hat. We love just having each other. 

Posted on January 13, 2011 at 7:18 am
misshammy
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06/12/2010
misshammy

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misshammy

I'm waiting because I'm just not ready :)


I'm still too selfish and I just can't think of having a little me at this moment..


It's soo funny, when I was younger I thought I wanted to be married in my early 20's and have a child by 25.


I'm now 26 and am in no hurry :)


I do get my dosage of baby fever now and then HOWEVER I know that there is just no logic in it right now...


Our house is too small, we're financially stable with everything we have NOW.. There's no way we can afford a LO at the moment :)


Besides, I want to go on a few more vacations before I have a LO :)


 

Posted on January 18, 2011 at 1:59 am
msdl
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05/28/2011
msdl

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msdl

Ditto everything you all said :-) And I'm 31, so I hope this desire kicks in soon...


I do want to have kids, but I want to have a happy marriage and a home and vacations and other things more. I hope that doesn't make me selfish...just honest :-/ I agree wholeheartedly with LadyHope and Inspirited's thoughts on having a strong foundation first. I believe that your spouse should always come first, and I don't want to start my marriage with a focus on kids too soon. I might feel differently if my FI and I had been together for many years, but we are just about to celebrate our two-year anniversary. I feel like we have plenty of time! And I just love the little family that we have now to itty bitty pieces -- me, him and our fur baby :-)

Posted on January 24, 2011 at 2:43 pm
lsjhik
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12/12/2010
lsjhik

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lsjhik

Is it bad to say that my #1 reason is I'm just not ready to have my vagina violated.  Is that a bad word that I should have censored?!? 


Anyways-I'll always be able to use the excuse about finances...it's scary.  We're never "ready" I don't think.  But I at least want my little girl to be more prepared for that horrific pain.


I'm a baby.  I know.

Posted on January 24, 2011 at 3:09 pm
msdl
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LOL, Lindsay! I definitely think one of the reasons I'm not ready is the body change(s). They sound terrifying right now!

Posted on January 24, 2011 at 4:21 pm
carolinawedding
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carolinawedding

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carolinawedding

No, that's not a bad word! I'm really not okay with the weight gain, boob problems, and having a ten pound child rip it's way out of my uterus and through the bajango! I hurt thinking about it!

Posted on January 24, 2011 at 11:46 pm
jenndover
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10/30/2010
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jenndover

Wow. Well....NOW that's why i'm not doing it!!

Posted on January 31, 2011 at 6:20 am
ladyhannah
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05/23/2009
ladyhannah

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I'm getting my undergraduate art- ceramics degree (almost finished!) and he is pusuing turning playing music into a full-time career with the band he is in now.  I also am in the process launching my tea business so kids just don't fit into our unestablished life right now.  Sure when I have found a house to turn into a tea shop and have furnished, decorated, and hopefully even opened it, then we can START TALKING about when to have kids.  


Also, if birth control makes me crazy, I can't imagine what much more of the same hormones rushing through my body along with a growing stomach and vomitting daily would do to me.  I don't want to scare my man away.

Posted on February 6, 2011 at 4:13 pm

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