DH Reveal or Not...?

I'm really on the fence about this!  Once we're actively trying, do I want him to know every time I'm going to POAS?  Do I want him to watch with me to see the result?  Or do I want to do that in private, then spring a reveal on him?


One friend got PG her second cycle off BCP so it was still "new" to them so he was there when the at home test showed BFP.  Another friend tried for 13 cycles, so they were past that "excitement" and she started taking tests by herself and told him after she got her BFP.


I already ordered a "surviving pregnancy" book for DH that came hugely recommended, but he doesn't know yet (only because it might be a gift).  I've been thinking if I did a reveal, I could include something like that as a part of it.  But then I also think if I asked him, he'd probably say if I really thought I was PG to wake him up while I do my morning POAS.


Decisions!

Posted on March 11, 2013 at 1:49 am
winterbride2011
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(14) Comments

aylacherie
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This is our first cycle, so I haven't POAS yet (since we started TTC anyways), but I don't plan on telling DH right away. I have a little onesie that says "I Love My Daddy" and I'm planning on using that to tell him somehow. 

Posted on March 11, 2013 at 3:20 am
aylacherie
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Oops, double post!

Posted on March 11, 2013 at 3:20 am
adamsapple
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@ Countrygirl - I have a onesie that says the same!  I wrapped it up along with my BFP and put them in DH's office - I also changed his computer background.  When he opened them all, he didn't put 2 & 2 together until about 5 minutes later when he was like, "hey, wait a second..."


Originally I was torn about doing a reveal or not but when I'd had a previous BFN with DH around he looked so disappointed that I decided I'd surprise him.  It just so happened I was off work that day so I could prepare.

Posted on March 11, 2013 at 3:29 am
dennys
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08/12/2011
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My hubby is very involved, so even for just the OPKs, if he is home, he is usually there afterwards trying to figure out what it says lol. He likes to analyze the lines and figure out if one is darker than the other :). Usually, if he doesn't go and check it himself he will wait until I get out and say "What did it say?" lol. Sometimes I try not to tell him too much about my cycle, but I feel like he is actually interested. He likes to look at my chart, gotta love the hubby :). So I know when I do get my BFP he will be there waiting. I don't think he would like it if I surprised him!
Posted on March 11, 2013 at 4:16 am
winterbride2011
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@ dennys my DH is kind of the same way - he bought a how to get her pregnant book on his own volition!  That's why I'm a bit on the fence about a reveal.  Although he hasn't shown a huge interest in analyzing my chart, he has been randomly asking questions about a woman's cycle and O'ing, so it's on his mind to some extent - itt's probably the engineer in him "how do I build a baby in the best way possible".  LOL.  But then again, he loves surprises and getting gifts!

Posted on March 11, 2013 at 4:54 am
DansMrs
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06/23/2012
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DH was home, in bed asleep when I POAS and got our BFP. I freaked out, got super excited and emotional but then quickly hid the test in a ziploc, so that I could wrap it up with a sleeper that says "Daddy Loves me" that I purchased for my reveal to him. He was shocked and excited and loved how cute and sneaky I was about the reveal to him. :)

Posted on March 11, 2013 at 4:58 am
CheekyMar
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I did everything on my own since we were so new to TTC :)


I did tell him if I thought I was ovulating though! 


I was able to totally surprise him when we got our BFP which was awesome :)

Posted on March 11, 2013 at 7:15 am
Claire27
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My DH has said that he doesn't want me to tell him before he has to leave for work so it will be a surprise when he comes home at the end of the day.  Or he'll know right away on a Saturday/Sunday =)

Posted on March 11, 2013 at 8:24 am
October9_2010Bride
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October9_2010Bride

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October9_2010Bride

I'll show DH the BFP on a digital once I get it but as far as when I POAS...probably not.  We are going to start to TTC again in 2 months and I don't want us to get stressed out again.  Honestly, it didn't help my DH knowing any of the details.  It really put a lot of pressure on him. :(  After ttc for over 2 years this 3 month break was definitely needed.  We are waiting until May because we have a cruise planned so I should be relaxed and stress free! 

Posted on March 11, 2013 at 9:14 am
winterbride2011
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I actually agree on DH getting too stressed.  I want to tell him when it's business time, but otherwise leave him alone.  Now that AF has for sure made an appearance post-BCP I don't feel the need to tell him "I'm waiting!".


@ October FX for an O during the cruise! I hear from middle-aged & older women that "dirty vacations" are just the trick to get PG ;-)

Posted on March 11, 2013 at 10:09 am
Kristen_Tater
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Ditto Dennys - DH is always near by when I take a test because he wants to know ASAP :) Lately, I'll actually leave the room and have HIM look first then tell me. I want him right there next to me -- that and I couldn't hide it from DH even if I wanted to LOL ;) I will be crying tears of joy so he would know right away if he hears me in the bathroom crying haha

Posted on March 11, 2013 at 11:29 am
littlebit07
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littlebit07

This is a good question...I just asked DH and he said he would want to know right away even if he was at work. He said it's too big of a thing to wait for a surprise. Lol. But I'm sure each guy feels differently:)
Posted on March 11, 2013 at 1:28 pm
msdl
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I took my test alone and did a little DH reveal, and it was one of the happiest and most fun parts of those first few days!! It was actually a challenge bc my DH was very involved/informed throughout my cycle. So I had to be a little sneaky lol :-) I told him my test date was a couple days later than it really was, so that I could take the test on my own. I always knew that I wanted to take the test(s) privately. There was just something special to me about having that moment to myself :-)

And having another moment where I told my DH that he was going to be a daddy was the best!!!
Posted on March 11, 2013 at 4:17 pm
msdl
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DP
Posted on March 11, 2013 at 4:18 pm

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