Need advice or reassurance.

So I need a little bit of advice from you ladies or at least some reassurance that am making a good decision... I will try to make it short:


I am in a job that I HATE. Like... not-normal-hate... As in, I come home crying most days because I am not stimulated AT ALL & my boss is bipolar (extreme highs & lows).  I have been doing the same thing for 11 years, in my same exact role for 6 of those years (same company, same office, same boss, mostly the same staff). The reason I stay, is job security & that the money that I get for what I do is amazing. Also the flexibility is unmatched! A few months ago when the Mr. & I were not TTC yet, I was at a breaking point with my work, so I applied to a position with my husbands company that was going to be significantly less pay. I almost got the offer for the position but at the last minute an internal employee was qualified & received the offer over me. I was so disappointed. But at that time my hubby & I decided that I should not continue to look fordifferent work, and that perhaps it was a sign that we should start our family! Yay, TTC full effect! 


Fast forward to yesterday afternoon. I got a call from his HR dept with an offer! It would be for the same position, same pay that I would have been offered before, BUT now it would only be a 6 month contract without a promise to hire after the contract is done (however most temps get hired). No medical benefits offered during that time and no holiday/vacation time either. I would actually be filling in for a girl going on maternity leave (funny right?). So we would put off TTC until at least after the 6months contract is up to see if I would be hired full time... You would think the decision would be easy to stay with my current company. BUT, the company that he works for is a powerhouse company. It has the "google" atmosphere & the company culture is fun, healthy & just an awesome place to work all around. Plus it would get me out of the industry that I loath so much.


Dilemma is - Do I tough it out at my job that I hate SO much to have the ability to save a TON of money for a baby in hopes that I get pregnant in the next few months. In addition to getting the medical benefits for me and a baby AND the maternity leave pay when I give birth knowing that I would not return to work and would become a stay at home mom? OR do I take a chance and work for less pay & be happy at an awesome company NOW, but have no guaruntee of hire after the 6 month contract is up, TTC on hold and no benefits?


My husband is on the fence as much as I am. One minute he will say BE HAPPY NOW and work with his company, then the next minute he will say TOUGH IT OUT & LETS HAVE A BABY and save money.


I guess I am looking for advice and/or reassurance that I would be making a SMART choice in staying with my current employer with that 'light at the end of the tunnel' having a baby verses happiness now...

Posted on November 16, 2012 at 6:56 am
CheekyMar
4
09/04/2010
CheekyMar

CheekyMar

  • 4
  • 13
  • 2.14k
400
Followers
403
Following

(6) Comments

CheekyMar
4
09/04/2010
CheekyMar

CheekyMar

  • 4
  • 13
  • 2.14k
400
Followers
403
Following

CheekyMar

oh god, I tried to make it short... sorry :/

Posted on November 16, 2012 at 6:58 am
adamsapple
10
06/05/2011
adamsapple

adamsapple

  • 10
  • 15
  • 13k
169
Followers
169
Following

adamsapple

Oh wow.  That really is a sucky sticky situation to be in and I feel ya.  I was in a job I hated for over 6 years for similar reasons... I ended up being made redundant which is exactly how I wanted things to turn out but the wait felt like an eternity.  DH kept telling me to quit and move on but something held me back as much as it was killing me.


Personally, I would stick it out and look elsewhere at the same time.  My only reason I say this is whilst 6 months is a while... say you do get pregnant, you'll be losing out on soooo many benefits that maybe it's best to take advantage of them whilst you can?  And if you think about it, maybe you'll be able to find another job whilst your on maternity leave when you have a baby?  I'd save the money... but then you have to ask if that is worth it over your mental health...

Posted on November 16, 2012 at 7:10 am
CheekyMar
4
09/04/2010
CheekyMar

CheekyMar

  • 4
  • 13
  • 2.14k
400
Followers
403
Following

CheekyMar

I think my hold up is that since I dont know when I will get pregnant (could be next month, could be next year), I feel hopeless at my work. And that is such a horrible feeling. BUT the light at the end of the tunnel is what I have to focus on. There is a means to an end AKA a baby & he/she will be really really cute with lots of hair :) 

Posted on November 16, 2012 at 7:34 am
DansMrs
5
06/23/2012
DansMrs

DansMrs

  • 5
  • 18
  • 5.28k
300
Followers
302
Following

DansMrs

That is a tough spot to be in. On one hand I see the benefits of sticking it out as adamsapple pointed out. However; hating your hob that much isnt' healthy nor is it good stress to be under. That kind of stress could potentially hinder TTC attempts depending on how your body handles stress. I was in a job previously that I loathed too and I was so happy when I got let go due to economy. I found a better opportunity!


I think you and your hubby have to figure out what you want most and what your priority is on when to get your BFP. And you have to internally search within and figure out how much longer you can stick things out at the current job for as the trade off?


That probably wasn't much help. sorry


 

Posted on November 16, 2012 at 7:48 am
CheekyMar
4
09/04/2010
CheekyMar

CheekyMar

  • 4
  • 13
  • 2.14k
400
Followers
403
Following

CheekyMar

Eeek, I declined the offer...

Posted on November 16, 2012 at 10:31 am
msdl
15
05/28/2011
msdl

msdl

  • 15
  • 20
  • 16.3k
499
Followers
498
Following

msdl

Just now seeing this, and I see that you made a decision :-) Honestly, I feel exactly the same as Jenny and Ashley - for both sides of the conflict. Since both sides have their pros and cons, it comes down to your gut. I think the fact that you chose the way you did says a lot about your priorities...what they are now, and what you want them to be.

With that said, Jenny made a great point about quietly looking around for other opportunities. You never know what else can come up! You dont necessarily have to suffer where you are now. But I firmly believe that any time you turn down a job offer, that is never a bad choice :-)
Posted on November 16, 2012 at 2:48 pm

Have a question? Contact Support
Top Contributors this Week
Canooknic
11 posts
NicholeB
11 posts
LauraSweet
10 posts
krosa
8 posts
Uhlease
4 posts
MiaElizabeth
3 posts