Family...ugh! *long sory*
Okay, so I'll start off with a little bit of what led up to this point...
I got engaged in April of 2009, we set our date for the following Feb. (*Feb 13,2010*) because it was the date of our first date a few years prior. Well after telling his family they told us that that date would not work, and we were fine changing our date.... or at least it didn't piss us off too much. They suggested that we change it to a date when there was no school (his mother and 2 sisters are teachers). After much deliberation we chose to do it on Dec. 18,2010. Well low and behold my 18 year old sister gets engaged a few months after we picked our date and started planning everything. Her FI and her had the nerve to ask me if I would mind giving my date up or having a joint wedding (*mind you I have had to share EVERYTHING with my sister since she was born, since we were so close in age*) I said no and thought that would be the end of that... I was wrong. She went crying to our mom who insisted that I give her my date because I'd "already changed it once before." and one more time wouldn't kill me. I was livid! before I knew it the entire family was on my case about how selfish I was for not wanting to do this for my little sister. I remained firm in the fact that I was NOT going to change my date for her, and that it was unfair for them to ask me to. Well they finally picked a date.... 3 weeks before my wedding date!!! So family coming from out of town had to choose between her wedding and mine, and since hers was first most of them chose hers. I was fine with that... or at least as fine as you can be in that situation, until my mother *who just might be the cheapest woman alive* suggested that instead of having a wedding cake of my own, we'd just get a 6 tier cake for my sister's wedding and we could freeze and use the top 3 tiers for my wedding later... ummmm, NO! after 2 months of my mother telling me that I needed to change this, or that to make it easily shared between my sister's wedding and my own. My FI and I decided to change our date to Aug 6, 2011.
Well, my family is now telling me that they refuse to come to a wedding that is "not going to happen anyways" so they won't RSVP, and all they can do is tell me what I am doing wrong in all my planning. I wanted to have a small ceremony, but with my family that is just NEVER going to happen(*my father was the oldest of 9 and my mother was the 2nd of 10 kids who all have at least 4 children of their own*) So my first issue is the fact that I can't get proper seating arrangements done or figure out food costs for the reception until i get their RSVP's... which they refuse to send. And my second issue is that my family is mormon, and I do not wish to affiliate myself with ANY religion in particular, therefore I get nothing but comments of how if I was doing things the "right way" and getting married in the temple that they would love to come. Do I have the right to be upset about this?