Do's & Don't of Renewal of Vows

For our 10th Wedding Anniversary we want to renew our vows.  I didn't have a first wedding attire and the works and I really want to have that at this time.  I want an Ivory gown, Cake, New Rings, Bridal Party.  Open to suggestions...... My formal Invitations will have dresscode Formal and No Gifts Please. 

Posted on April 13, 2009 at 8:21 am
golds
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(27) Comments

kpn
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06/13/2009
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golds I was in my friends wedding in december.  Like you - the first go around was just getting married - no ceremony.  So she had her wedding on her 10 yr anniversary.  She did it all up! - She had 4 girls and her daughter was the flower girl, she had flowers, a cocktail hour, buffet style food, music, dj, cake, etc.  It was in december so I know it was  alittle more cost effective, but I know she was very happy to have done it. What types of suggestions are you looking for?

Posted on April 13, 2009 at 8:26 am
kpn
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Congratulations btw!

Posted on April 13, 2009 at 8:27 am
TheChicBride
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Welcome and congrats.


I'm a vow renewal bride. DH and I eloped in 2002. We will renew our vows in August close to our 7th yr wedding anniversary.


Feel free to ask me anything about vow renewals.

Posted on April 13, 2009 at 2:45 pm
Russelltl2
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Do you have any idea as far as color? I know you want an Ivory gown, but are you going to go with black? It's a very elegant and popular wedding color. Congratulations!


 

Posted on April 13, 2009 at 2:50 pm
golds
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Thanks for all the replies and makes me very happy to hear people saying its okay to doo what I'd like to do.  Some sites said Not a wedding dress for vow renewal, no bridal party, But I will have all the above.  I'm thinking about Chocolate and aqua blue....What are your colors???

Posted on April 13, 2009 at 4:31 pm
DreamingOfYou
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Golds, I am definitely having everything that we weren't able to afford the first time around which is just about everything.  We were married in a little B&B and only my parents were there.  I could care less what others say, other opinons matter not to us and we are planning everything as if we are not already married.  Our colors are shades of purple (can't decide on just one), silver, blue-purple, and black.

Posted on November 22, 2009 at 3:56 pm
ChocolateDelight
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There is no standard template for vow renewals.  Do you and do what reflects your dreams, wishes and values.  When my husband and 1 got married in 1995, we had a simple civil ceremony at the courthouse.   For our vow renewal, we are a full-blast wedding (wedding dress, large bridal party, big reception, upgraded rings) to celebrate our marriage.   


Our colors are various shades of blue, teal, silver and white. 


Happy Planning.  We are pros at planning.  Let's show them that married women do it best. 


    

Posted on November 23, 2009 at 7:25 am
haute.bride
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I think im going to stick close to a regular Wedding plan as if its the first time around.  I do want to skip the garter/bouquet toss and since its a vow renewal, I want to suggest No Gifts Please because the place im in love with is very small and I may have to let everyone know that it will be an adults only reception. 

Posted on March 16, 2010 at 12:59 am
amorza
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Im doing basically the same thing as hautemama. I saw no need to ask for gifts or anything and since everyone I know it either married or a long term couple then I dont see the point in doing the bouquet toss and I would be totally embarrassed to do the whole garter thing.

Posted on March 21, 2010 at 5:27 am
ChiTownIrishBride
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We are going all out as far as guest list, reception venue, vendors....


We are Catholics, and doing this "for the first time" since we were previously married by a JOP 10 yrs ago. 


This is our anniversary Convalidation.  And as far as family; we have four children, ages, 9, 6 yr twins, and 5 yrs.  They are the attendants, my husband's sis and my bro are our "Witnesses" they will be in tuxes/MOH gowns.


MANY members of MY family (not DH's) don't "agree" (or maybe understand), why we are doing this, or what the "purpose" of this is. 


We have family members saying we are PLAYING DRESS UP, we've already been married for a decade, how dare I don a dress and he a tux?!


  Initially, this hurt.  But now.....it's not about them.  It's about US.  And how far we have come, and what we have accomplished, and what a magnificant family we have raised thus far! 


Those who can't understand, don't get it, don't want to.........yes, it will hurt in their absence, but that is life.  I am not here to make eveyone happy, and honestly, this vow renewal has taught me that more then ANYTHING ever.  I have always been a "people pleaser" and that's what I am known for.  Not to toot my own horn, but those that I care about know they can count on me for whatever they ask me to (I feel bad saying NO) regardless of my four kids in four years!


Now......it's different.  I have listened to my kids call it "Our Anniversary"  and be AS excited as I am about the entire aspect of it.  And they SHOULD!  Had it not been for them, who knows if we'd bother?


And for those that don't get it; well, no one is twisting your arm to come.    Long, twisty, road, but think I've finally got there.  It's OUR DAY girls....I'm trying to be lady-like here but.......F'UM!!!!!!!  ;)

Posted on March 25, 2010 at 6:38 pm
TheChicBride
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I have been married for almost 8 yrs. We are planning our vow renewal.


First, the only "Don't" would be gifts. I would not ask for gifts.


Second, as for as "Do's" I say do what ever you both want. It is your day and you should do it your way. If you want it simple, make it simple. If you want it big and over the top, then do it. Who cares what others say. Do it your way and have fun.

Posted on March 26, 2010 at 4:53 am
sexypoetically
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Hi guys,


I haven't posted in a while because I've been swaped with wedding stuff. now I know why we went to the court hourse the first time.....J/k j/k


 


We're doing everything I don't want to leave anything out because I'm not getting married again. I'm going to act as if we are getting married for the first time.  I don't think anyone can put a rule on your happiness. I've been unhappy for a long time because I didnt get the wedding that I wanted. now that we can afford it OOOOOH BOY!

Posted on March 26, 2010 at 5:11 pm
TrueSerenity
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I am with the rest of you -- this day is going to be a testament to all we have done, been through and accomplished to this point in our marriage. In this day and age, that is something worth celebrating, especially when marriages today last about a minute and are disposable to some as kleenex.


We are all going to do it up and more power to us vow renewal brides!

Posted on March 27, 2010 at 2:35 am
TheChicBride
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Personally, and I am only speaking for myself, I feel a vow renewal is MORE special than the "first wedding". I feel this way because sooo many people get married and with in 2 to 3 years, they are divoreced.


It takes REAL work to make a marriage last! I feel that after 5, 8, 9, 10 or more years of being married, going through all the trials and tribulations of marriage and family, and you both STILL want to renew your love and commitment to each other, than that is AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


It's easy to "date" someone for a few years and then get married. It HARD to be married and then years later want to seriously do it again.


Power to the Vow Renewal Brides!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted on March 27, 2010 at 6:06 am
amorza
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I was wondering has anyone gotten the blues with planning their renewal? I've noticed that while talking to some vendors and when they find out I am renewing its like a pause and a confused look. Has anyone else gotten this?

Posted on March 29, 2010 at 9:32 pm
TrueSerenity
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Amorza:


I have not really noticed this very much, but I know it can be an attitude many people have. Most of my vendors and friends think it is really sweet. My mother is like the other folks :(.

Posted on April 1, 2010 at 2:35 pm
tootihooti82
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08/28/2010
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My Hubby and I have been married for 2 amazing years 28-08-2010 and we are wanting to renew our vows on our 9th anniversary as we had been together for 9yrs before we got married and have just found out that we can marry on the 28-08-2021 falls on a Sat so we are stoked as that is the same day we got married on too :) I am having my original wedding dress altered and even though i want a bridal party as such my hubby and i will be walking from opposite ends of the aisle to meet in the centre and then we will both walk down together or i will get my boys who will be 16 and 14 to walk me down the aisle :) all other details are still in the planning stage as we have 7 yrs to go lol

Posted on September 30, 2012 at 8:51 pm
beccabride
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10/10/2010
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I love how you and DH will be walking in from separate sides of the aisle and meeting in the middle!! That is such an awesome entrance!

Posted on October 1, 2012 at 4:11 pm
AHVR2013
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I know this is an old thread, but I see there are some recent answers. Neat! :) I love talking VR subjects!! Nice to meet you, tootihooti82 and beccabride!


I have a very laid-back opinion about weddings and vow renewals. IMO, if it doesn't cost the guests in comfort or money, a couple should do as they please. If anybody has a problem with your VR, they don't have to come! It's an invitation, not a subpoena. I know some people have certain etiquette rules they feel must apply, but I just don't see the point. If a beloved friend or family member invited me to or asked me to be a part of their vow renewal, I'd be there with bells on no matter how long they've been married or what their ceremony looked like.


I do hope you all will forgive me if I seem a bit more passionate than the average VRer. I hung out at The Knot just long enough to feel pretty darned harassed about this subject and I'm still feeling annoyed. LOL


 

Posted on October 3, 2012 at 2:11 am
Fearce
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We are doing everything especially since we have NOT ever had a wedding reception.  I will wear purple as I did the first time.  We will most likely get ready together like the first time.  This time we will walk down the aisle together.  We will have a cake, first dance & bridal attendants.  So glad I'm not the only girl hear for the long haul!

Posted on October 8, 2012 at 12:43 pm
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