Guys don't enjoy being groomsmen. That's a fact.
If it wasn't expected of us (damn you commonly accepted and unquestioned social norms!), we'd rather sit at the back of the church discretely adjusting our fantasy football lineup. A wedding's bad enough, but now you also have to endure dressing up, standing on stage in front of hundreds of people you vaguely know, and dancing with young, nubile bridesmaids.
Ok, the last part isn't so bad. But here you are, tasked with being a groomsman. You accepted because the groom asked you. And guys don't ask much of each other. He's your bro. What else could you say?
Relax. Being a groomsman is the easiest job in the wedding. And did I mention: you get to dance with the bridesmaids?
What are you?
According to Wikipedia, a groomsman is "one of the male attendants to the bridegroom in a wedding ceremony" and it "is considered an honor to be selected".
Do you feel honored? Well, do you? Here's how you stack up in terms of the wedding hierarchy:
- The Bride
- God and or non/denominational deity
- The Groom
- The Officiant / Pastor / Priest / Rabbi / Hari-Krishna
- The Maid of Honor
- The Bridesmaids
- The Bride's family
- The Groom's family
- The Flower Girl
- The Groomsmen
- The Ushers
So do feel honored. At least you're not one of the ushers.
What do you have to do?
With great power comes great responsibility. The duties of a groomsman are, in order of importance:
- Dancing with the bridesmaids in the first dance
- Standing by the groom at the ceremony
- Looking good - bathing is not optional. A shave wouldn't hurt either.
- Picking up tuxes and shoes and bow ties on time. Get measured beforehand so that you don't look like you borrowed Andre the Giant's tux.
- Making sure your bro shows up at his own wedding. It's probably good for him.
- Keeping the party alive and "spiked" at the reception
- Escorting the bridesmaids during the beginning and end of the ceremony
- Helping guests find their places before the ceremony (boss around the ushers)
- Attending the rehearsal dinner and bachelor party
- Standing around for hours while an overpaid wedding photographer shoots thousands of wedding photos that will never again see the light of day.
- Generally being around. 75% of the battle is just showing up. In a tux, of course.
Is that it?
Yup! I told you it was an easy job. A word of parting advice: be a good old chap and help out wherever needed. The groom will surely remember it when it's your turn to walk down the aisle.