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Dealing with your Divorced parents


Accommodating your divorced parents at your wedding and reception can be a little tricky, especially if there is tension between the two of them.  You're already aware of the balancing act sometimes needed to keep them both happy - and you know that it may not always work - but you want your mom and your dad to both be a part of your special day.

Treat Both Parents Equally

If one parent feels the other is playing a bigger role in the wedding it could bring about some hurt feelings, especially when stepparents are involved as well.  Divide responsibilities between them both fairly, but try to avoid placing them on the same tasks if they tend to disagree.

When it comes to the guest list, allow each parent to invite the same number of guests and recognize each side of the family in similar ways during the event.  Take the time to talk to your parents separately about the role they would each like to play in your wedding day and do your best to make them both feel appreciated.

Avoid Conflict

The last thing you want on your big day is a battle between your divorced mom and dad.  Take a few precautions during your planning to avoid any potential disasters on the wedding day:

  • Seating arrangements. If your dad never has anything nice to say to your mom and her husband, don't take a chance of kindling an argument. During the ceremony, place another close relative in between the two and arrange for distance seating at the reception as well.

  • Dances. Traditionally, parents of the bride and groom share a dance at the reception. Give your DJ some advance notice about your parent's relationship. If both of your parents are remarried, you may choose to have them each dance with their new spouse or you could just skip the tradition completely.

  • Giving away the bride. If your stepfather is just as close to you as your dad, deciding who should give you away could be difficult. Some brides ask both fathers to walk her down the aisle, some walk halfway with one and the remainder with the other, and some make other arrangements to include both guys.

Dealing with divorced parents and making sure they both feel just as important on your wedding day is sometimes difficult, but not impossible.  The most important thing is to plan ahead.  If your honest and keep the lines of communication open with both of your parents, things will go much smoother.

Last Updated: December 15, 2008 at 10:07 am
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