Ok so I try to steer clear of the drama, for the most part I mean what girl doesn't like the hear the gossip sometimes right...haha. but here are a few scenarios from ONE day that just made me feel a little 'tired' at the end of the
1st scenario: yesterday we attended a memorial reception for FI's uncle (sad, he was such a kind man) who passed away approx a month ago. FI's step sister was there, she is approx 10-12 years older than us lives about
2 hours away and has always been a sweetheart . I heard FI talking to her and her daughter (14 yrs-ish) about wedding planning, he later asked me if his sister has harrassed me yet about the wedding and I asked what do you mean, he said
step sis and her daughter were saying they want to be in the wedding. & gosh I immediately felt so bad and embarrassed bcus we haven't asked her to participate but have asked FI's other sister who lives close and whom I speak with and see
frequently. So I approached step sis and apologized and expressed that I would love it if she were in our wedding, she replied that her and her daughter were just joking and giving FI a hard time but said if we could find something special for
them to participate in that would be cool, cool I thought we could have them do a reading during ceremony. no biggie, then when 'goodbye' time came around step sis's daughter was giving FI a hug and FI said aw im your fav uncle and her BF said 'yeah
even tho she isn't in the wedding'. Thought that was interesting that teeny bopper BF knew the drama....has it been discussed between them all before?
second scenario: also while at the reception. FI's son (from prev relationship) grandma (momma's momma) was there. She asked me how wedding planning is going and I replied "oh good, 6 months and I'm excited about it" she
replied "so am I" She has previously mentioned (well flat out invited herself) to be a guest at our wedding to "be there for FI's sons transition" OH-K. I also have a daughter (from prev relationship) and none of her father's fam will be invited to
help her 'transition'. I think its a lame excuse to try and be nosey. I have designated that as FI's issue to handle (nicely).
3rd scenario: FMIL came over later in the evening. She was previously a florist and FI volunteered her to help with flowers (totally cool with me and saving us some $ too & btw she is happy to help) but she started
asking bout wedding and then asked "have you changed your colors yet?" my reply (confused) "umm no, we don't plan on changing our colors" which are green/ivory/black (poss damask). She said well we will have to wrap bouquets in black ribbon. Hmm I was
again confused and was waiting for her to say the 'bad thing' about our colors, black is one of my fav colors (hues...whatever lol.) and I think it looks classy....everywhere. Then I began to tell her that I will be using several alternatives to
flowers for BM bouquets and CP's. told her I would like to use Manzanita branches for some tables. She said she is allergic to manzanita and so is her daughter. I told her it would just be the branches no blooms and branches would probably be spray
painted. I tried to show her photos of what I was talking about bcus she looked very confused, probably thinks im outta my mind for not wanting many flowers at wedding. She may feel like she is being 'robbed' bcus that was her area to help...but im
sorry I am just not a huge flower person and would like modern alternatives at wedding. have a feeling that is not the end of that topic. haha.
so there it is. my first doses of wedding drama with some of my FIL's. Thanks for reading :) just had to get off my chest & probably will share with MOH also haha. Hope you have a good wedding planning stress-free day :)
1st scenario- good idea leting FI deal with dramas on his side of the family- that's the best way otherwise you will come across looking like the crazy bride controlling his life- get him to sort out the second scenario too. Weird one that is! I
really feel your pain- last thing you want is you FI's ex's mum there. If that were me I'd feel like she was there spying so she can tell her daughter all about it. Would make me feel really uncomfortable and you shouldn't feel like that at your
3rd scenario- again tricky because it involves the in-laws (am seeing a pattern here!) but stand your ground! You chose your colour scheme because the colours are what you love and reflect your personality- don't change them! Keep showing MIL
your inspiration pics so she can see the vision you have and if she is going to be helping you try and incorporate her ideas with your colours, manzanitas, etc.
I hope things settle down for you! We have had a few in-laws dramas as well so I totally understand where you are coming from! Good luck!