Hey ladies- we are about 2 & a 1/2 years in and 2011 has NOT been good- I heard a bit that the7 year itch theory has turned into 2-3 years... DH is going through some major issues with how he sees our relationship & has even told me he's on the fence about sticking this marriage out, but he refuses to talk to anyone about it. I don't really know what to do- I'm pretty sure his mom's declining health, the fact that he's turning 30 & that he's not feeling like he's accomplished what he though he should have (i.e.: job, etc) is having a partial impact.

Any one else going/gone through this?

aww so sorry to hear! We were together so long before we got married like 4 years so I dont know if that makes a difference, but we have had our issues since the weddign 2 years ago... maybe you guys could see a marriage counselor to help him sort through his feelings about the marriage adn sticking with it! GL:)

yeah. We were having some issues super similar to yours before the wedding. Im really sorry you have to go through this.

oh no pinky.  I'm so sorry to hear this.  I remember you from way back in early pw days when we were planning our weddings.  This is so difficult because as you've said he refuses to talk to anyone about it.  Danny and I have definitely had our arguements (I call the last one "Armegeddon" because it got pretty damn bad...)  but that's all they ever are; arguements.  I/We don't look at our marriage as an option....therefore separating is literally an impossibility.  Our first anniversary is coming up in June (but we've been together for about 7 years prior and have been through long-distance for 2.5 years, death of a parent, cancer, broken bones...more things than I can even mention).  When you have that outlook, you HAVE to figure out how to make things work or you will both be miserable.  I've found that, with both of us, having that pov really makes you step back and stop the ARGUING and start figuring out the SOLUTION to how to live with each other and actually be happy.  Right now a life without you is an option in his mind - that if things get too hard or complicated there's always a way out.  That's where, in my opinion, the problem is :( We absolutely have our fights, but it doesn't threaten our marriage.  And for him to outright tell you he's second guessing breaks my heart :(.    

I'm not sure what I would do.. try my best to get him to open up or go see some one?  Maybe try to focus both your attention on him accomplishing whatever it is/was he feels he needs to accomplish?  I'm sorry, hun.

thats good advice al! It is heartbreaking to feel that divorce is an option and sometimes I throw that around when we haev huge fights but I know it's wrong. We haev experienced some really strong issues since marriage- my dh is an Iraqi vet so he struggles with PTSD which has become a snowball effect with issues such as drinking and other addictions- anyhow we are sorting through those right now and he is seeign a counselor weekly- maybe even an antidepressant could help even him out? my dh got on one and it ahs helped tremendously with the low feelings

keep us posted!

sorry to hear that, thats hard , is he talking to you??? does he have any sort of outlet for stress, i know my hubby goes to the driving range to hit balls sometimes when work is stressing him out.

I will keep you guys in my thoughts. Marriage is hard work!!!! but I am a firm believer that THE MORE YOU INVEST IN A MARRIAGE, THE MORE VALUABLE IT BECOMES!  hang in there and above everything else COMMUNICATE! Praying for you guys :-)

pinky, I give you so much credit for your honesty.  I see so many people talk about how in love they are (and that's great) but no one ever talks about the really difficult times in marriage.  My DH and I are married only 7 months (together 4 years) and we just recently started seeing a marriage counselor bc of some serious issues.  One of these serious issues could have been the end of it for us but we were actually able to make our relationship stronger.  We aren't perfect, but like the others said marriage is very hard work!   The one thing that helped us was that each of us wanted to make it work.  If you feel that in his heart he wants to be with you --- and you feel the same.  You will find a way to work it out.  Good luck to you and your DH and feel free to PM me if you just need to vent.