DH and I did 3 IUI's to get pregnant but have always thought we would adopt whether we conceived or not.
I think having doubts and questioning things is very normal. You both have to be on the same page about bringing a child into
your relationship (however that happens) but being "ready" for something does not mean 100% certainty. We tried for 17 cycles and now that I am happily pregnant and anxiously awaiting her arrival I still have moments of doubt. Will I be a good
parent, will I screw her up somehow, can we afford to raise her the way we "pictured" it, will I love her right away?
I am already worrying about baby#2(if we are lucky enough) and #1 isn't even here yet! Will I have enough love in me for two
babies, etc...Some may think those are silly things to worry about but nonetheless they occasionally pop into my head.
It is not selfish to want a biological child and being so thoughtful and honest about your feelings on adoption is the
opposite of selfish. It is a lot of work to go through the adoption process so I think just researching what goes into it (if you persue that) will help to give you and DH some clarity on the subject. ANd you may find that right now it is not for you but 5
years from now it may be the perfect way to bring a baby into your household. :)
good luck!