So to put a spin on the thread I started entitled "Joint Finances", here's a question for the ladies who believe in the old saying "what's mine is yours and what's your is mine" concept.  What would you do (or how would you feel) if your husband suddenly received a $15,000 inheritance and made the decision to put it into HIS savings account.  And don't say "he wouldn't do that" -- just play along.  HE DID IT.  Would you feel slighted?  Would you feel as though the money is "joint" money or that he should beallowed to allocate the funds towards whatever he sees fit since its coming from his deceased relative.

good question, being that i inherited my parents' house and all other assets they had since i am an only child. honestly, i put the money in a joint savings account even though i had inherited the money from an annuity my parents had saved for me. was i a tad bit, uncomfortable...initially yes! b/c i felt like this was money that my parents saved up for me for many years and there was an emotional attachment to it but would i have done things any differently...probably not. good post though. it is a very touchy matter indeed!

This thread is really hitting close to home for me and I would like to know what the "proper" thing to do is -- I mean, like you said, an inheritance is something that's very personal and meaningful from your parents who saved up to give that to YOU, their heir.  That's very emotional and it means a lot.  But then again, money IS money and once you get married all assets are the same.  But the joint assets are money that you've worked (on your own) to contribute, right?  Wrong?  Who knows.  I have to be honest, I know some other ladies may disagree, but I'm sort of on the fence about this one.  And you would never guess which side of this equation I'm on.  That's why I'm trying to get other people's views on it before I disclose all of the details.

It is a very sensitive issue but I actually just googled some articles about the matter and according to many financial experts, inheritance money within a marriage is only entitled to the heir. They also mentioned how because it is such a sensitive issue, it sometimes causes a lot of tension within relationships b/c of trust issues in regards to finances. If I were you, I would research a little more on the topic online. I guess since I have been through ALOT over the past few years, I have really detached myself from money and material things. We all honestly give those kinds of things too much power and too much value. Try not to think the worst and just try to base your decisions on how to handle money issues like this out of love and out of the right thing to do. I don't think I can give you any good advice on this since it will ultimately be up to you and what you feel comfortable with along with your FH :-)

*The old me would of thought differently but after watching my entire family lose everything to Katrina then losing both of my parents I have just decided for my own personal reasons to never let money or material things guide my decisions especially within relationships I have with peoople that I love :-)

I totally believe in the whats mine is yours statement in a marriage ...

However ,  me personally ...I know DH will be inheriting quite a bit from his grands and his parents .... to me thats all his .... to do what he wishes .... now if we were in financial crisis obviously I would expect him to do whats necessary for the family , but as long as we are both employed and paying the bills on time I would not want anything to do with his inheritance ...and would back him up in whatever he decided to do with it ....

Look at it this way -  He didn't take off on a trip with the guys , or go out and buy a motorcycle ... he put it in a savings .... which IMO is actually a very good place for it ...KWIM?

I understand what your feeling ...but to me it is his personal legacy from family

I don't even think I answered your question Kim, I apologize. No, I would not feel slighted. Any money received from an inheritance is intended for the heir only, how they choose to spend, disperse or save it is totally up to them. Sorry for rambling!

My FI will more than likely recieve a nice chunk of change from his parents and I believe he already has some other things that he inherited from his grandmother. As long as he and I are open and honest about our current and future assets, I don't allow it to concern me at all.

I'm not sure why inheritance money in a marriage would be handled differently than money you earn from a job or something.  I'm an only child and have an uncle that has no children.  So I will be the sole beneficiary for both my parents and my uncle.  But I can't imagine looking at that inheritance money and telling my husband that it's mine alone.  He's my parents' son now and my uncle's nephew.  He's family.  And that money would go into OUR accounts and OUR investments.  I can't imagine opening a separate account with that money and telling him to stay away from it.  When my mom's parents passed away, she got a good chunk of money from them.  That money went directly into THEIR savings.  Maybe it's just how I was raised but my parents never had separate anything and I don't plan to either...

i agree Beatie. i witnessed my parents handle a lot of their financial matters seperately however, i chose to do things much differently in my relationship. FI and I allow each other access to any and everything that we have :-)

however, legally...inheritance $ it is entitled to the heir only and is actually not considered assets of the marrriage based on what I've read.

I feel exactly the same Beatie as far as what "I"  would do .... anything I got would be "ours" -  UNLESS .... it could help send one of my girls to college or something like that ... then i would make that decision and just do it ....   but I personally would not want any part of anything he inherits ..... he is very giving and we both have sacrificed a lot ... I would want him to do whatever he wanted with it .... he would probobly feel the same if it was me who inherited ....

P.S.  I may feel a little differently about this because we both have been married before AND have children from those marriages ....