Ladies,

How annoying are people who automatically ASSUME or feel entitled to an invite to your wedding?!  I can't be the ONLY bride going thru this, right?

I'm not close to anyone on my Dad's side of the family - I can probably count the times I've met or spent time with them on one hand in all my 28 years.  I have 1 long lost "aunt" who has expressed her disappointment in me for not calling her personally to announce my engagement and how sad she is she found out thru someone else...another "aunt" who recently passed on a message to let me know she EXPECTS an invitation to my wedding...and last but not least, my ex step dad's new gf who totally put me on the spot about how much she wishes she can be at my wedding.  AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!

Just had to vent to ladies who get it and might be in the same boat because OMG does it annoy the heck out of me!!!!!!!!!

I have a few people who are doing the same thing, luckily they aren't family though. Whenever someone asks or comments on how they want to come to the wedding I just answer, we are still working on the guest list and havnt finalized it. I then usually say, "we had a set number in our heads in the beginning but we're now getting finalized numbers on costs of things and this wedding is going to cost me a fortune!" I usually jsut say that so people understand if they aren't invited it's for financial reasons rather than personal. So sorry to hear that family is giving you a hard time. Look at it this way, if you don't see them that often then who cares how they feel, lol. I know, I know, easier said than done. Good luck though, I hope things work out.

Thank you for the encouraging words, you've got a good response ready!  You're totally right though, I don't see them to care...it still shocks me how people can be so rude on a day that is SO not about them!  Best of luck to you too, happy planning :)

Yeah I have people that ask me "Oh when's the big day?" and I tell them and I know they're expecting an invitation but they aren't on my list...

Put them in an awkward spot!  A girl I went to high school with was excited that I was engaged and said here's my address.  Be sure to send me one!  I said why?  She went quiet for a little while and said because we're friends!  Not that close...nor were we ever.  A co-worker who found out about the engagement wondered if anyone here at work would get an invite I said some will but we will see how the guest list turns out after my family is done between the 48 cousins and the 26 aunts and uncles plus my fiance's small family we may or may not have enough room.  They never asked about it again.

LOL @SeptemberFall - I like ur style!  I need to man up and put them in the awkward spot like u said...LOL thanks!

Thankfully I haven't had family do that but all of fi's exs asked for invites! hehe thankfully we made a deal, if they ask they don't get...

Yes. I've had a few past co-workers and distant cousins that I see on Facebook and that's about it, say that they can't wait to dance at my wedding. I've even had some people call me out on FB like "oh i didn't get my invite yet, :(" and i"m like "are you serious? i haven't seen you in like 2 years and the last time I saw you, you wanted to take me home to sleep with you for a birthday lay and I turned you down in front of your friends because i have more class than that" Yeah...seriously!

Um...how rude to invite yourself for one, and two why would you think that you would come when we barely speak or just because we worked together (past tense mind you).

I have even had some close friends want to invite their on-again/off-again lover because they don't want to travel here alone. As I had told our guests already, we are inviting CLOSE family members and very CLOSE friends only.

But my FI has been having Ex's contact him out of the blue because the word got around he has a house and now everyone is coming out of the woodworks to try and get with him! good lord! lol

I know how you feel though...it is assumed because I know you that YOU must invite them or that they will get a surprise invitation if you don't tell them. And if you don't invite them, they don't want to give a gift or even wish you congratulations. Sad

My response when people talk about the wedding and make statements like I will wait for my invitation, or I will see you at the wedding...I say "I am rooting for you! I really am." Then I go on to explain that I have about 120 with my family alone, I have not even included friends...oh and that's right my fiancee gets guests too. Then I end with we'll see...but know this...I am truly rooting for you.

That adds enough truth and humor to put it out there that as much as I would like you to go (I'm rooting for you) there is a very strong possibility that you won't be invited (too much family).

Good luck ladies...here's to courage. :)

I'll throw in here - I'mdealing with this situation this week. Top of our list was to have a an intimate wedding of 60 - 20 friends, 20 of his family, and 20 of my family. My aunt who "considers [me] her daughter, too" is trying to throw money at me now (after we've booked the venue and started with planning) so that I can invite another 35 of her cousins and aunts - also people I haven't seen in years!

Ugh! Thanks. I feel much better now to see how other people are handling in humorous ways and to be in the same boat.