I thought I wouldn't have a story for this post but I totally do now.

FI's cousin is being a nightmare. Allow me to set the scene...we didn't offer dates to most of our friends. The only people allowed to bring dates other than the bridal party are those who are married, engaged, or have been together (and are moving towards an engagement) for 4+ years. I WILL NOT be forced to pay for someone's boyfriend of 3 months, or for a significant other we have never met, I don't care how close I am to you.

Since I DIY'd the invitations I made each RSVP specific to each person. Your name was on the RSVP and only the bridal party had a line that said (indicate guest's name here) with an extra box to check off what they'd be eating. FI's cousin go so excited thinking that she'd be able to bring a date, but there was nothing on the card for her to write a name so she got incredibly confused. Her date wound up being on the B-list anyway, so he'll be there because he's friends with FI, but not because I wanted to make it more convenient for her.

FI's cousin THEN took it upon herself to get more of her friends invited. She set up her friends with the GMs who didn't have dates. So now we have two of her friends floating around the guest list and there's absolutely nothing I can do about it. I can't rescind the invitation because the GM deserve a date. I just wish the nerdy GMs had taken this as an opportunity to invite someone they actually like and want to date instead of someone they've never met that FI's cousin set them up with.

Even more frustrating is the fact that my FMIL gave me a very tight budget for the rehearsal dinner. I'm at the point where I kind of just want to say, okay, you two bitches aren't invited to the rehearsal dinner because FI's cousin won't be there and you don't really know ANYONE and you're not involved in the ceremony.

Than this weekend at my bachelorette party I was talking to FI's sister and she said cousin dearest is now trying to toss all of her friends off on her. And SIL is like no, I WILL NOT room with YOUR friends at my BROTHER'S wedding. Ugghh, I just want to throttle her. I know she's socially inept because she was home schooled and never learned how to properly function in these types of situations, but really, REALLY?!?!

Wow, I feel much better getting all that out...

OMG!!  I can definitely vent on this issue...  We are paying for our own wedding, with the exception that the FI's dad and step-mom will be paying for catering.  Our wedding is going to be in Oregon and we live in Nor-Cal (about a 6 hour drive).  His parents and grandparents live in Oregon and it is cheaper on our budget and we can still have a beautiful wedding.  This means, our guest list is small.  I wanted a more intimate, less formal wedding with close friends and family since technically we are already married but our finally have a ceremony/reception.  I wasn't planning on inviting distant family relatives from down south (with an emphasis on DISTANT, literally and figuratively) because it is just a small wedding and we don't have the budget for it.  I should have known that word would get around and eventually SOMEbody would say "How come we're not invited?! (in an irritated/whiney voice)"  So... I was forced to put in extra effort and pay for postage just for an RSVP to come back with a REGRET because I already knew they were not going to want to make the trip up to Oregon from LA!!  HELLOOOO!!  Why should I have had to send the invitation knowing they were not going to be coming?????  My parents really irritated me with this one but just to shut them up, I did it.

Same boat over here. Well sorta... my parents are oh so kindly footing the bill so when the guest list grew from 100 to 150 due to their requests for people to be added I happily obliged. They know how much the cost is per guest, and I'm planning the whole thing with my mom so she knows exactly the bills they're racking up.

Well my FI was never very close to his family but when we met 5 1/2 years ago I thought it was really important for him to reconnect with his family. Which just consists of his mother's side of the family since his father passed when he was much younger. Over the years we've all gotten a lot closer and we make a regular habit of attending family functions and including them in ours.

Everything was fine in paradise until his grandmother decided to add her two cents on the situation. His cousin was married a few months ago and I guess the great aunts and uncles and their children weren't invited to that event and they felt very upset about the whole situiation. So now she thinks it's only right we invite them to our wedding... Mind you my FI has never even met these people and didn't even know they existed till this it was mentioned to us.

Now his sister is getting married a month before us and they ended up inviting them. BUT her wedding is around 7 bucks per person when mine's closer to 40 a person. So I feel even more put on the spot now!

Am I a horrible person for not inviting them? It's around 10 + people that never have made an effort to get to know us or our daughter till now, and it's my parents paying for it. I'm not putting that EXTRA burden on my parents... so hopefully they won't think I'm some evil witch of a woman....

melanie: you are NOT some evil witch of a woman!!  The simple fact of the matter is, weddings cost!  It's not that you don't want to invite them or don't want them to be there.  If weddings were free, we'd invite whoever we wanted, right?  You may choose to let his grandmother know that you and your FI are not the ones paying for the wedding but you want to be careful not to put the blame on your parents (so that it doesn't look like your parents don't want them to be there).  You could also emphasize that you are trying to keep the list at a minimum by inviting CLOSE family and friends only (meaning people that you actually know and they know you).  I've even heard of people only inviting those friends and family that they have actually talked to within a specific amount of years (like 3 years or something like that).  Someone may be upset for a little while or so, but money these days is just not easy to come by.

I have had the same issue but with most people I have said no to. Weddings are expensive and I don't have time to go broke for someone I have no relationship with.