Asking for Money

Hey ladies,

I have another question. My FI is adamant about asking for money instead of gifts. I think it's rude to do so. Also, I spent a lot of time putting together our gift registries. What are your ladies opinions? Is there a way to set up a registry and just ask for money? Every opinion counts!

TIA!

We did a registry, but I put a little birdie in my very close relatives ears that we'd love gift cards or cash to put towards the reno we are doing on our home post wedding. It worked well, because I literally just told my parents and my aunt. These were the people others would always ask, "what do they want for the wedding."

No! You cannot ask for money.

Just have close family get the word out.

IMHO its probably rude to just ask for money but you could definitely let your close family and friends know what you'd prefer to get...there's always ways to make a big hint without making it too obvious.

Some couples register for a honeymoon fund with their local bank, or one of the online websites. That is always an option but you could say "We're saving up for a new bedroom suite" or "we're saving for a future trip to Europe".  There's lots of ways to hint to family that you'd rather have cash than gifts.

No matter what you do, some guests are going to want to buy you a physical/tangible gift anyway. So you might as well let them buy something pretty off your registry so you don't get items that don't fit your style or items you already have in your home.

Just my two cents. :)

Etiquette says you should not ask for money or even put registry but now a days things seem to be different...Asking for money can be a touchy subject but I think it depends where you are coming from; how your family and friends are. For some people it could be very rude to do so and might get ofended but then again its very hard to please everybody.

That being said I am a bride who asked for cash. My family and close friends encouraged me to do so and my fiances family was ok with it as well so we felt comfortable doing it, we come from a very traditional family so we weren't sure how they were going to take it but we are glad it worked out...I am not sure if it may have offended other guests but I have not received any negative comments about it, one guest actually told me she was relieved to give cash since she always has a hard time choosing.

So, instead of a registry we included a little card that read "Dear friends and family, if you were thinking of giving a gift to help us on our way, a gift of cash would really make our day"

Conclusion: do what works out best for you!

Whatever works for you and FI. Things have changed a lot. I guess if someone told me they wanted money instead of a gift I assume I would have to respect their wishes.

Like everyone else said, get the word out via family. DH and I already had our house etc and really didn’t need ANYTHING at all. We had 3 people ask us what we wanted and if we were registered and we simply said that there really was not anything we could think of. We received one gift, 1 gift card and the rest was money. I think that most guests give cash now a days anyway. No dragging gifts back and forth to receptions lol

 Maybe the old school aunts etc might prefer a gift but anyone who has gotten married recently knows how much the money is appreciated and needed after a wedding. Since you have a registry set up you have offered the option so I think that you are set.

I like what missjess485 did, but the birdie in ppl's ear and keep the registry just in case ppl just don't want to give money. For some reason to me, putting that in writing just seems like your begging, at least from my stand point. I would not include that, although I have seen it on invitations, I would not do it personally. If ppl want to give cash, believe me they will give cash. I went to a wedding last year, there was no request for gifts or even registry noted on the invitations or website, but ppl knew to give something, I purchased a card and my FI and I placed some cash in the envelope.

We put together a small registry at Target just for my bridal shower. My Mom put on the invitations "The happy couple is registered at Target for shower gifts". For the wedding, I put a little paragraph on our website under the registry tab that the "true gifts for us are having our friends and family to celebrate with, but if you are thinking of bringing an additional gift, monetary gifts would be most welcome as we save for home improvements and larger items". And of course, our closest friends and family are circulating that same sentiment by word of mouth. I don't think it will offend anyone, I think people will appreciate knowing what gift we would get the best use from:)