This more of a whine then a  vent.....

Yes I am poor, I cant  afford a fantastic dress, stunning jewelry, I cant change my mind ever two second and get my self new stuff. 

I am stuck with the choices I make,

No honey moon, instead I get my honey home to me, which to me is more important, so no sexy honey moon clothes  and I cant afford them really.

I just is getting tired with I cant.....

Yes I didnt want to lose weight before this wedding, I am stunning as I am  but well  being poor means I cant afford dinner some days...

So I am getting thinner.

Noodles arent to bad, I made noodle brick, noodle soup, noodle bread, noodle fries, noodle stew, noodle wok, noodles with noodles......

And I am glad I bought  the books  101 ways of eggs  and 201 ways of potatoes  cause it makes life easier.

But I am just so tired of I cannot....... I cannot even see my  fiancee until a week before the wedding or voice with him over skype.

GNAH!

Can I have some cheese  with this whine?

That's really sad. Can you sell your computer and disconnect your internet so that you can afford to eat?

Well  if I disconnet my computer and sell that, which is pure junk, then I cant talk to my   fiancee at all, then I will go nuts.

Plus  8 buck a month for internet,  wont feed me that much.

I would have more money if the cat hadnt got ill, If I hadnt had to  pay the fees for moving here  and a few other things.

Oh well, I am just so whine today, but at least I have dinner for  a few days, got pasta sauce from  a friend  and it is only 14 days before I get paid again.

Do you have a food bank or community drive near you? 

Nope cause we dont that here, I  should be able to live on the money they give me , cause I am ill, but well being who I am,  I had to make sure  the cat didnt get more ill.

She has been my closes friend for 14 years now.

I just got a bottle of wine and  some meat from a friend..... he was passing by.... which is odd cause I am so not on the main roads.

I am just very tired and whiny..... I want shiny stuff too! ;)

Oh well meat is in the freezer, packed in portions, that is 5 days woth of food.

Have you considered getting a job?

If you are seriously unable to eat you really should take a step back from planning a wedding. A wedding is a "want," eating dinner is a "need."

If I was unable to afford dinner I would never consider planning a wedding. You can get married at the courthouse for next to nothing. Please do not plan a wedding you cannot afford. Maybe its just the time for you to have a wedding.

Sounds like a pretty sucky situation and i'm sorry about that :( i have been there. However, i do agree with kristinkay....maybe you should put the wedding off for a little while until you get on your feet. I'm sure it will be a much better experience and  a whole lot more enjoyable :) I sincerely hope that things take a turn for the better in your life Mau!

p.s. i know that you were just venting ;)

No the wedding is on!  Sorry girls,  if I dont marry, then I cant get my guy over and  do need him and we are doing a courthouse wedding.  I am done with my side of the wedding, I have what I need, nothing new of fancy. This is low cost wedding trust me, we have asked all our friends to do things for free  and I am even using my new daughter as slave ;)

As I said I am just tired of the cannots.  

I cant work, I am disabled, due to new laws here, I cant get a disabilty check until I get a clear diagnoses, I cant get a clear one cause nobody understand  why  everything is going  to hell.

What we do know is that have had muscler problems for long and  sneezing and twisting my back was the last nail in the coffin.  My right legs  isnt function anymore as it should, on good days I look normal and can walk normally,  on bad days I fall over, shake and cant stand up.  And I have constant pain, which cant be mediciated away.

So I need my guy here, in the same country as me, I been waiting for him so long.

When I was 5  I got asked  what I would do as old and I wrote down, I would get married  in a green dress to a scotsman.

When we started planning this wedding, said I wanted a green dress and we will marry in his home country of Scotland, I had forgotten what I wrote as five year old.

I found the note in a box of old stuff with a picture draw and a small note saying  I would meet him there, the picture is  spot on where I and he  fell in love  and guess if I cried when I saw my note.

So this has to be done, I need my happiness, I been waiting for him for 29 years.

I am just so tired of the "cannots" and It is the cannot that is getting to me...... 

If the weather  holds  then in a  few weeks time  ground elder and nettles and  dandelions will be sprouting and that is free food.

I think I bribe  a kid to pick them, cause I cannot bend.

And it been  a week since I last heard the voice of my love, I so miss it, seeing him type is not the same.