Bridal shower...

So...we are only able to invite a certain number of people, due to cost, to our wedding. A lot of our friends that are not "super" close, acquaintances, and co workers are not being invited because of this. That being said...would it be ok to invite those who will not be coming to the wedding to my bridal shower? I have a MOH who says that this would be rude to invite them to the shower, but not the wedding itself. I think now-a-days, people understand that you can't afford to have everyone at your wedding. However, I could be wrong. Please help.

Here is the bad news -

Ettiquette dictates that ONLY those invited to the wedding can be invited to a shower. Because it is specifically a gift giving event.

I am sorry about this.

I did not have a bridal shower 20 years ago and I am not having one now and I am glad for it as it was one less day of stress for me.

My friend was unable to invite a number of people to her wedding but really wanted to include some of them in her celebrations so she decided to have them at her bridal shower.  She explained the reasons she was unable to invite them and they were fine with it.

I also had a similar situation where I couldn't invite my colleagues so I took them all out for drinks and told them I wasn't able to invite them.  They were happy I was honest with them and made the most of the situation.

Everyone who would be invited to the bridal shower knows that we cannot afford to have them all at the wedding. Does this make a difference?

Also, I have having a Pampered Chef Bridal shower, so if they felt like giving an expensive gift was not ok (since they are not invited to the wedding) there are plenty of options for small gifts as well - or none at all.

I am also on the page where I understand that people's financials are not the best right now and would go to a bridal shower for a friend, even if I wasn't invited...but maybe I am just more "aware" (I am not sure what term I should use there, but that seems to work) and less likely to feel offended?

My friend threw me a "bridal shower" on Sunday specifically because I can't have EVERYONE I want to come to the wedding be there.  We also told everyone invited, not to bring gifts.  It was more of a celebration of our engagement....but just girls...haha we played bridal shower games, they made toilet paper wedding dresses, everyone brought food like a potluck....It was like a party....it was a way to involve people who you love, but can't have at the wedding.  I say, if they aren't invited don't expect a gift.  Just be honest, and make it a way to involve them in your happiness.  It was a really fun day for me, and I wouldn't change a thing.  Even though traditionally it's only for wedding guests, I think it's okay to change traditions SOMETIMES. :)

I truly believe this is a case by case situation. If you think your friends/family will not be offended, or that they will totally understand, I say invite them!! I would run this by a few people closest to you to see what they think as well. We had a very limited wedding guest list and my shower included everyone, even if they weren't invited. I told everyone to please not worry about bringing gifts, because what I wanted to was to be able to be surrounded by all of them, their love, and friendship and have a great afternoon together.