bridezilla

Sorry so long...

I feel like a total bridezilla and I am really freaking out.  First of all we went on vacation and so now I'm a week behind on sending out invites.  I worked on them all weekend and stayed up til 3 am on sat 2 am sunday 2 am monday 2 am last night.  On sat my wonderful MOH came over to help she was up with me til 3 am she got to my house at 9am so we were working on this all day.  Well my FI who was supposed to help went to a party/diner whatever came home about 1 am and went to sleep.  Next morning he was goign to help but we had to go look at classic cars and I needed to buy more paper.  (He wants the cool car b/c he is a car designer).  first thing is first, he get hungry so we stop to get a bite to eat, then his mom calls and he tells her that we are goignt o look for a classic car for "dina's wedding"  what the f*** is that about?  I let it go b/c I don't want the drama but now I realize I'm still upset over it 3 days later.  But to HIS MOM who already thinks that I'm crazy over the wedding and a total bridezilla or whatever b/c when I saw her we had drama about her picking a suit for the wedding and my mom was in a gown and I asked her to change it and get a gown as well so she matched and would feel more comfortable...long story but major drama there. Anyways, Then we picked a classic car and went to paper source well that turned into wow!  I've never been to this mall (south coast plaza) super filled with designer sh** so he wanted to shop so we bought him shoes, and shirt and then he wanted a hair cut...long story short we got back home at 8pm.  The day was all about Nik!!!  Then I started working on invites he was suppose to help but did more complaining the helping. so I told him to get out of my face and just go to bed and I'll work on MY invites for MY wedding.  Then Monday night he promised to be home early to help-came home at 9pm last night same thing.  But finally last night he helped me and we were both up til 2am. Only to find out this morning after all 130 invites were done and sealed and shipped out that I got the address and directions and map all wrong for my boat and I'm sending all my guests to the office not to the dock :(  So now I have to send a change of info to every f*** person...  I was about to be in tears today when I found out. But I'm at work and Decided to save my tears for my bottle of wine tonight. Anyways, I'm so frustrated and I don't want a wedding anymore and I'm less then 7 weeks to go and I have nothing done for myself.  Like my hair and make up or my tiara and I haven't exercised all week and no time for a tan... and the list goes on. And I'm just so tired... Anyways thanks for listening. I needed to get it out and I have no one else... :(

oh man. I am sorry that this is stressing you out. FI should be helping you more. Once this hill is over I think it goes smoother. I hope you enjoy your bottle of wine ;) Feel better and just try to relax!

Girl you need a hug STAT!

We all go through melt-downs with the wedding planning.  At least you caught the address problem right away!  Just send out a simple little note with a change of address-  it really will not be a problem.  Spread the word around & make sure everyone you talk to is clear on the location & directions.

As for FI, it does sound like he was being a  bit selfish about what HE wanted to do-  and barely had time to help you.  I can see why you'd be bothered & upset.  Hopefully you guys can talk about it and figure out what future projects he's comfortable helping you with.  Then when it comes time for him to pitch in he knows what's expected and how it's done.

Since you're already on PW, why don't you do some vendor searches for hair & makeup?  Set up your appointments now for trials.  Maybe go tanning or get a pedicure.  Take a much needed break from planning and relax!  It's all going to be okay!!!

*hug hug hug hug hug*

Your not being a bridezilla, just just try to slow down. 

-You can easily talk to Nik for a few minutes about his comment and how that bothers you. 

-Your off to a good start with hair & makeup so far, so lets just see how Friday goes. 

-Lastly, don't worry about the change of address until down the line when you know your RSVP's, a simple note or email to your guest will be sufficient. 

Now that invites are out, screw Nik for a while & anything else wedding related, until you get your stuff figured out (Tiara, hair, make-up, etc)

I completely sympathize with you, Im in the same boat as you, but my wedidng is 2 weekd beofre yours!!!!  - I got a very upsetting phone call today- which made me slow down and realize this is not whats most important in life...

It will all come togther- I will help you if you need it! 

- HMM :)

aww justa. dont worry things will get better! forget what has happened and start fresh. if you feel a bridezilla moment coming, take a deep breathe and re think what you're about to say or freak out over. next time Nik says something like "Dina's wedding" i would ask him, "Ok, so tell me, what would you do? You obviously think i've become bridezilla so please tell me exactly what you would like me to do?" or I would have said, "I'm dong the car thing for you, if you don't want to do it anymore fine by me, less stress." He's not being the most supportive right now and i'd want to wring his neck. and you're in such an emotionally vulnerable time right now! poor thing HANG IN THERE. Step away from the triggers (him, MIL, etc). You've done everything perfectly until this point, now its probably time to chill and just worry about yourself and let everything else fall into place. Whats most important is that you're there dressed up and ready to go. Good luck. huggies!

Did you DIY with making the invitations or was all this time on stuffing and addressing???

Somethings are better done by hiring out. I am not trying to sound harsh, just try and be aware of what you really want to do hands on. After the time and stress of DIY, especially realizing how your man was acting very typical, not even bad, just typical... I say fight your battles wisely. Find out what you really want help with and see if he will get involved. DIY things your really want to do and hire out the rest. It will save you time, money and your relationship.

The last invitation I sent out for my couple my wholesaler stuffed and addressed and mailed.... Even Kinkos has the option. We had to proof everything to make sure all the info was correct. There was one mistake, we put in the correction and they did the work. Very reasonably priced too...

Relax, do not hold something like this against him, typical man thing, and try and have fun...

Here is an idea with the wrong address thing. When you get an RSVP from someone give them a call, or thensend the corrected address/map. I wouldn't waste the time on doing it for everyone so far in advance, wait till you know who is coming and give them the info then. Also, don't be mad at your man unless you have talked to him about helping more and how you are feeling like you are being left to do everything. I speak from experience. I was holding all my anger at FI not helping and then exploded one night (I was 2 glasses of wine in, it helps my anger flow) and he was like "whoa, where is this coming from, I thought you liked being in control of everything. I didn't know you wanted my help! I am happy to help just tell me EXACTLY what to do."

Hope you guys get things worked out!!

You guys - or should I say girls- make me want to start drinking haha

- HMM :)

well I guess the problem I'm having is that I feel like I do everything. I made all the arrangements all the decisions everything.  All he's had to do was show up to the food tasting cake tasting and meet 2 photographer.  nothing else.  I have been doing it all by myself.  I went to different hotels to see which is best for our guest I went to restaurants to see where to have a rehearsal diner, I met with videographers, florists, photographers I email all these people find out prices availability and everything else.  I arranged for all his groomsmen to get tux fittings (I called and e-mail and did it all) for his friends then I threw a party for them after wards as a thank you.  I went out bought food cooked, etc. etc.  he does nothing he says well I work.  WELL guess what so do I.  I have my own business which I just started so I'm working on business plan blah  blah and I know I just finished school so I'm not generating a lot of money so I went out and got a job too.  SO it makes no sense.  Plus, my parents are paying for the whole wedding so I just feel like he and his family can careless.  My parents also threw the engagement party fully catered and everything for 70 people.  So I feel a little taken for granted and I think so do my parents.  Don't get me wrong his parents help too but just not with the wedding.  We had to ask them to pay for a few things like rehearsal diner, transportation, photographer.  I have talked to him I told him how important it was for us to get the invites done and for him to help but....well he helped last night and thats how they got done. So finally something sunk in!  I'm just annoyed that he complained the whole time...

I'm just really stressed out- I've been trying to get ahold of my photographer and my wedding coordinator all week.  Now my dress place called and she is missing measurement-which they took.  Its all happening at once.  I think I'm just tired.

I really appreciate you girls listening and posting it makes me feel better.

girlfriend...

i know how you feel. i'm only about 6 weeks out and starting to freak out myself. and of course the FI is no help. just got all of the invites and everything together last week and sent them out all by myself. i know the planning and everything gets really overwhelming, especially the weird mix of putting all of this energy into this thing that is partly so that other people have a good time and then people think you are being spoiled or a bridezilla. anyway just all sorts of emotions and then it's so much money on top of it which stresses me out. i've kind of accepted that it's just me who will do the majority of the planning and prep work.
and i know that part of him doesn't even know how much work goes into it. i do give him a few chores just to let him know that it's not all fun and games.

but i know how you feel, my advice is once you get your invites out take a break for a day, get a massage or see a movie or go out for a glass of wine. you'll be more productive when you come back to the planning table and 7 weeks is a lot of time to handle the deets.

but yeah that totally sucks about the boat slip up. sorry! not sure how to handle that.