cant stop crying and shaking...

ok this is old news but i just wanted to say something since i was out when this all went down. when it comes to strippers, there are two kinds of couples, one who accepts this as part of their lives (or at least b-parties) and the couple who doesnt. I don't think iklein failed to ever let him know that she was not ok with it. He knew she was not ok with it and went ahead and did it anyways. I applaud the girls who are fine with allowing their men to have strange dirty women shake and grind their naked body all over them. You truely are liberal in that aspect and many guys wish their girls were cool with it like you are. However, not every girl is as accepting when it comes to that like you are and that doesnt BY ANY MEANS make them naive or silly (as i'm sure some wanted to say) or "not ready" for the "REAL" obstacles they will face in marriage. And guess what? There are guys who either totally dig that or love that no-stripper ruling woman soooo much that they're willing to respect that rule of hers! When it came to ikleins fiance, he obviously respected that rule up until the bachelor party and thats when sh*t hit the fan. He did something really bad (which was lie and do something she didnt want him to do). Luckily they have worked things out (i'm happy for ya inga!) and are moving on. There is still a scar there that will eventually heal. But lets not undermine her feelings of hurt and anger just because some of us are more liberal when it comes to strippers! sheesh!

Also, in NO WAY did I see this thread as being similar to the tatoo post. That girl was being bridezilla and snobby, iklein was being genuine with feeling betrayed with the stripper.

WM-- I sent you a PM

thanks missq :)

WM well put.

I have to agree with Jackie and soon2b.mrsnapton... sorry im so late Ive been busy at work :(... Like i told my FI i really dont care what you do on your b-party as long as you dont sleep with anyone and as long as you dont pay extra for favors...lol Your brother was at the B-party so im sure he knew you would find out but he didnt want to tell you b/c he knew you would react the way you did.  YOU ARE GETTING MARRIED!!!! enjoy it!!!! dont spoil it over something small like this....

i so agree with you WM. not every girl is okay with their FI touching or being touched by naked women and i completely understand why iklein was upset so upset this. i personally would be upset as well. 

I'm late on this post.. but wanted to throw my 2 cents in.  I am one of those girls who doesn't much care if my FI goes to a strip club for his b-party.  I trust my FI and I know that's not who he is.  As luck would have it, he's not going to have any strippers (he thinks they're nasty), so even though I would be cool with it, I don't have to deal with it.

BUT what bothers me about inga's fiance is that he knew she didn't want him to do it, and did it anyways.  My FI would never have done that.  I haven't been around here long enough to know what a pp's comment meant about inga having had a rough few months (with FI??) but I predict she will have a rough time ahead, too.

FI's b-party is this Saturday night, and we just had this discussion the other night about one of his friends who can't make it.  Because supposedly his girlfriend won't let him go.  She doesn't trust him.  FI was blaming her for her lack of trust.  But I told him there's probably a REASON why she doesn't trust her BF!, and if I could talk to her, I'd probably get a different story on this guy friend of his...  I'm one of the most untrusting people in the world, and I trust my FI, because he's never given me reason not to.  THAT is the main issue for me with Inga, not that her FI touched strippers, but that she can't trust him to do something that he said he would, or wouldn't, do.

I think any issues in a relationship that cause such strong dissagreements over the course of a few weeks aren't to be judged as they have been here. I wonder if it had been something other then strippers if people would still be so judgemental?

Try reading her post again, mentaly block out any references to strippers and see what the real post was. If instead you read "he spent $500 when I asked him not too" and you saw how this affected the relationship, the tension building up about the issue weeks before, the stress on the day of, the confrontation when he came home and the yelling that insued afterwards, all which affects the trust in the relationship. It certainly makes for a different perspective, one other then the sliding scale of morals and ethics.

So I aven't posted and this is a bit late but I've been so busy and dealing with my own issues (as most f you read).  I'm not one who cares if FI goes to strp clubs either.  Infact, I was the one who suggested in and his BM and I were talking about it and when FI found out he got mad said he wants no strippers and that they are nasty and he doesn't want that.  So we joked about having one for a while and he would get pissed everytime so finally BM and I planned a weekend camping and BBQing on he beach for him and the boys with great food, drinks, etc.  Its a surprise.  I only helped b/c his BM wants to make sure its perfect and calls me for advice or questions.  Anyways, thats the man I'm marrying.  But you have to knw your man and trust him.  SOme girls I'm sure wouldn't let their man go camping for a whole weekend with the boys b/c of trust.  I was engaged before and broke it off a few days before the weddign b/c I didn't trust the guy and just couldn't live like this anymore.  So with this relationship I told FI to just never lie to me and abuse the trust b/c then we'll have major problems.  So my issue is trust not strippers.  If your man tells you he will or will not do something (big or small) he shoudl stick to his work.  In Inga's situation if her FI considered her feelings he could have avoided this by telling his friends he just wants a night out or a weekend out with the boys no strippers just quality time with out any girls.  And if he told her he wouldn't cross certain lines he shouldn't have.  Maybe her line is crossed before some of us but it her line. 

One more thing, my FI doesn't drink or party hard so it would be out of his character to do the whole getting drunk and club scene.  He didn't even want a bachlor party.  He thinks the whole idea is stupid and that whats the point you're not really single that night why would you act like you are?  Why go out of your character your own morals to act the fool if its not who you are and hurt the person you love waiting at hame?  You're about to get married why do you want some other skanky woman all over you when the one you really want is at home?-this is what he says. 

So, In Inga's situation what type of man is she marrying?  Thats for her to decide, she needs to think abotu trust, morals, etc.  Seems like they aren't ont he same page but I'm glad they are working it out.