children as part of the wedding

I know this has probably been discussed before, but I'll ask anyway. My friend is getting married she has 1 child and her FI has 4. Her FI is having his son as his other BestMan and so she  asked his oldest dghtr to be a BM and the two younger children to be hostesses. A family member told her she should have the younger ones as Jr Bridesmaids because it was the right thing to do and that would make them part of the wedding. Needless to say she is having second thoughts because she doesn't want them to feel left out and she thought they were part of wedding since they were hostesses. She had also planned on having sand ceremony to include them in. What are your thoughts?

We to have children... we are asking the older boys to be groomsmen... the younger ones 8-12 yrs will be Jr.'s (GM's & BM's) and smaller will be flowergirls/ring bearers...

We're not doing sand ceremony but I hope to include the entire family in the unity candle lighting...

Check out this post

http://www.projectwedding.com/post/list/step-kids

I would def include them my FI has 2 girls and I dont want them to feel left out...

do you think they would  feel as not part of the wedding if they were hostess? or would letting them read a poem be better? any suggestions.

Thanks

If they are present I think they should be apart of the ceremony  (beyond being a hostess - to me seems more like a "helper")... I think if some get to "walk" down the aisle as part of the bp and some don't, the ones that didn't will feel left out...  even for ours, we are asking all the children to participate -if they don't it will be their choice but we dont want to exclude them...

i think it depends on their personality and level of comfort. has your friend asked them how involved they want to be??  maybe have a convo about it and tell them you want to include them but only if they are comfy doing it??  just a suggestion - they may be nervous to do so - and may not be comfy???  not a reflection of their feelings - if they say no - she shouldnt take it personalllly kwim?? ;-)

i will have a 10 year old stepson - and while i would looove for him to do a reading or something, he is a shy kid and doesnt want to read in front of all those eyes staring at him... he is perfectly content being his dad's "best man"