I can't stand you.  You all ruined my wedding to your son/brother.  I'm sick and tired of you blaming me for your family issues that were there long before I even met DH.  Stop using me as your scapegoat.  I have so much anxiety before any sort of family gathering that I can't eat/sleep for a week before, and am now on prescription anti-anxiety drugs.  DH asks me to "have a few drinks" before going to each gathering...shame on him for not being able to stand up to you people, but shame on you for putting your son/brother in such a terrible position.

MIL and FIL, I hate the fact that you don't treat your children equally.  It's so hard to watch you give your daughter everything she asks for and nothing to your son...you complain if he asks for anything. You make me feel so unwelcome and uncomfortable, yet you insist that I come to everything.  It's a catch 22 for me....if I come you make me miserable, and if I don't then you still make me miserable.  Stop with the constant emails and phone calls, especially since they should be directed toward your son.

SIL and SIL's husband, you are both insane.  Grow up and take care of yourselves.  Stop turning everything into a competition and being so manipulative.  You are simply not nice people and never have anything nice to say to me, and are always tearing me down in front of others for no reason.  DH and I have done so much for you, and you can't even humble yourselves to say a simple thank you.  

I refuse to be bullied by all of you any more.  You don't get to step all over me...I will always stand up for myself and will not be embarrassed to do so.  If we can't figure out a way to make this relationship somewhat pleasant, I don't know if there can be a relationship at all.

**OK, I feel better....hopefully can get some sleep now** 

Vent away. I have also had my fair share of in-law drama. If I've learned anything, it's to stop caring. I also stopped participating. I'm physically there, but I tune everything out. And I'm blunt. I hope your DH learns to stand up for the both of you...it makes things more clear to them that you are a family now (you and your husband) and that their behaviour won't be tolerated any more.

:(

kaytana, i need to learn your ways!  hopefully it will come with time and practice.

Sorry!  I definitely know how you feel ... my SIL and her husband walked around our wedding trash-talking us to anyone who would listen, my MIL pretended we didn't exist, etc.  On top of a long list of things his sister, mom & aunts have done.  I'm trying to follow Kaytana's lead and I'm starting to care less & less.  It's hard sometimes, because I wish we could all get along.  Really.  All I've wanted is for my family to get bigger & bigger.  But when they tell DH they "hate" me, it's kind of hard to think a relationship will be possible.  So we carry on knowing our husbands love us, and promise ourselves to never do this to a future daughter-in-law!

Wow, I thought it was just my future in-laws that were like this!

Keep smiling girls, and as athena says, we know our men love us and that's the important thing. The in-laws are the ones that will miss out on a good relationship with grandchildren etc so let them get on with it and focus on the great relationships we have with our FI/DH instead.

:( Sorry to hear this from everyone! But I couldn't agree more with the girls above. Your marriage is a good one, and it can be hard to avoid but if you can't make them come around, why waste the energy being so worried? It sounds harsh, but aside from being cordial to them there's not much to do.