DESTINATION WEDDING VS. WEDDING IN HOME STATE

Hi Divas-

Havent been on here lately but things have been crazy at work and with my grandmother. She celebrates her 77th birthday this weekend and that is a blessing- we definitely didnt think she'd be here to see it, so we're throwing her a mini party :).

Anywho-

I have been struggling with this whole wedding thing and the more me and FFI talk about it, the more open Ive become to having a smaller more family oriented wedding. As you may or may not know I'm a PK (preacher's kid) and I grew up at two different congregations here in the city and I love them both. That being said, they would ALL want to come to the wedding and reception, because they would feel like family you know? I aint got it like that!! So I've been thinking US destination wedding would be the only way to really avoid that.

So let me ask the divas that are planning destination weddings- Where did you go? How far from where you live? What are the pros and cons? Were you able to visit your venue before and/or after you booked? Do you regret not having it close(r) to home? How did it affect your bridal party?

Most of my family is from out of town so they'd be traveling and staying in a hotel whether it was here or not.

Thanks!

k.k.

We had this same dilemma. Originally we were going to have the bigger, more "traditional" wedding, but after thinking about it more we decided that it just wasn't us. Neither of us like huge parties, so why were we going to have one? With around a 10k price tag, it was getting ridiculous. 

We decided on a small wedding on the coast here in Oregon, but it's being considered a destination wedding because it's 3 hours from us. It's a pretty central location (3 hours for us and everyone in the Portland area and 2 hours for FI's mom's side from Roseburg) and it's absolutely beautiful. PLUS, we get to make it our honeymoon without having to go more than 20 miles! 

The biggest pro that I have found is the financial aspect. We are getting pretty lucky with a few "friendors" (friends who are vendors), namely photography, but after all is said and done, the whole wedding is going to cost us around $500. Our ceremony/reception site is also free. I know this is nowhere near what MOST destination weddings cost, but generally speaking they are much cheaper. 

Another reason that I love our destination wedding is that it's close family and friends. Now, I don't have any family, but I have 3 or 4 of my very close friends coming who are basically my family. I think in total we're going to have about 20-25 people. It's just so much more intimate and I'd rather share the day with a few close people we love as opposed to a bunch of people that we hardly know. 

As for the bridal party, we're not having any bridesmaids or groomsmen. FI's young cousin is going to be flower girl, but that's it! It has made everything much easier, plus that makes it more intimate while we are at the altar together.

DH & I had a DW and I loved it! Here are my answers to your questions:

 Where did you go? We were married in Vegas.

How far from where you live? Its a 8 hour drive from where I live, so we decided to fly, but some family did drive.

What are the pros and cons? I felt like because it was a DW we were able to have it on an off day (Monday) without it feeling funky. By having it on Monday we were able to get discounts at our venue and the photographer, which were the two big ticket items. Of course, we probably spend the saved money on air fair and hotel... 

As for the cons, we had some people who were really hurt they were not invited. 

Were you able to visit your venue before and/or after you booked? I could have made the trip to visit the venue before the big day, but I decided to save the money. Instead we met with the rep a day before and finalized all the details. 

Do you regret not having it close(r) to home? I do not regret having a DW. It was the best choice for DH and me.

How did it affect your bridal party? We decided not to have a bridal party.

Please let me know if you have any additonal questions, I'd love to answer them for you! 

milkgal, reading through your post just making you answered my side.but instead we only drive 4 hours to vegas.

Well just having had a DW, I would say do it! We had the most amazing time! We did not have it in the US though, but initially we were contemplating having it in Florida.  We had it in Puerto Rico (3 1/2 hour flight). Having it so far away def. cut our guest list, however we ended up having many more people than I had orig. expected. We ended up with around 70 people, I thought we would have only like 40-50.  All of the important people were there, and those that could not make it due to financial or other reasons, we understood, and hold no hard feelings. It cut out having to bother with all those relatives you don't really talk to, but that you have to invite. They were still invited, but we knew they wouldn't end up going.  We did make a trip to visit our venue beforehand. I def. do not regret having it! We had a great time!!! It didn't really affect my bridal party, because we were always going to have a small one whether it was at home or not. Pro's: you get an extended party weekend out of it, instead of it just being 1 day. Everyone arrived excited to be there, def. feeling in vacation mode, and it just added to the fun of the event. Cons: It is difficult to plan something when you're not physically there, but you can work it out. It's harder to transport your DIY, your dress, etc. However, it is doable. I shipped some stuff beforehand and the rest I just took with me on the plane. In my opinion, having a DW gives you a different feel on your wedding, and your guests tend to be more carefree (the kind of feeling you have when on vaca). HTH.

I cannot say enough about DW's! Our wedding was in Key West and it was an incredible experience!!

We flew down from Ohio, but my Aunt, Uncle and Sister made a killer road trip out of it and had a blast!

We had 22 guests come down. We had already selected a BP, but a few groomsmen had to drop out. It wasn't an issue at all, the sides were uneven, but it worked well!

We didn't see our venue until the day of-but that was only bc we couldn't make a trip down. I did find some brides online that were married with the same venue and that was a huge help.

There is only one thing I would have done differently and that is check what high and low travel season for the area is. We ended up having our wedding in high travel season. It took a little more leg work on my part, but I was able to negotiate to low season prices for some items.

Thanks ladies- your answers are definitely making me feel more confident about having a DW. It will cut down on the guest list significantly but as long as the important people are there I'll be fine :)