My husband wants a baby shower and already started planning the location down to what food we will have. I am not sure if that breaks the etiquette rule or not if we plan our own shower. When it came time for my wedding my mom did not offer to throw me a shower or help with any wedding related festivities/items. One of bm did ask but I did not want to put them in a financial bind. My late mil wanted to give me a bridal shower, but I declined due to some of the issues with my mom and she might get jealous.

My husband is wanting the shower more than me and I know he will not let this go. I really don't have friends like that to ask and my mil passed away a few months ago. Is it wrong to ask my mom will she be throwing us one? I did not ask her last year for the wedding to do anything, I just assumed she would but she did not help with nothing.

I don't think it's rude to ask!! I would just say "Hey mom, DH is looking to start planning our baby shower. We don't want to step on anybody's toes... so we wanted to see if you were planning on throwing us one?" or something like that. Say it in a way that you aren't expecting her to throw you one... that you are honestly just asking.

I agree with Kristen. You can easily ask, in a smooth way and it won't look rude at all. Better to ask than not knowing and be disapointed, in the end, if no one is throwing you one.