Hi All,

Well, after going ring shopping solo AND with him, I thought I was THISCLOSE to getting engaged. Unfortunately, things are definitely going to be postponed... a few months back (right after we went ring shopping/planning) the FFI lost his job (massive company layoffs) and hasn't had any luck with finding a new one as of yet. I am totally supportive and wouldn't want to put any pressure on him, especially knowing he feels terrible about what happened. I can wait but I'm worried about what happens when the time finally does come.

I'm scared that when he finally does propose, it's going to be more a feeling of "well it's about time", likely to be reinforced by friends and family, since that was the general consensus at my friends' wedding a few months ago. We have been dating for over 6.5 years, living together for almost 2. I am just dreading having that feeling of "well, it's about time" instead of getting really excited as most people seem to. I haven't had a whole lot of "normal" in my life so I was really happy about a "normal" proposal and wedding.

I think it's parially that I'm down now too... we had been making a lot of plans but now we're back to struggling financially. I know there are a lot of people suffering out there so I'm grateful for what we do have at least. Still, the last couple months have been disapointing on many levels.

Sorry to be a bummer... just wondering if anyone else has had these kinds of feelings, concerns, etc.

I hope to have good news in the near future, though. :) Best to all you other ladies in waiting or waiting no longer :)

Well I'm no longer waiting as of July 4th but I completely understand what you are going through. We haven't been together as long...almost 4 years for us...but I got so angry waiting I thought I was going to be like finally!! He always blamed money and needing to save more but I still think he just wasn't ready and was a little scared. He had the ring since March. How can a guy hold onto a ring for 4 months and not go crazy?! But again I just think he was scared and waiting for the right moment. We had originally said we'd get married this October...but month after month and no ring. It was hard...especially since he had given that timeline. Now it will be October 2012. My problem was because he kept saying it will happen soon and he's horrible at hiding things I pretty much knew the proposal was happening on our trip for the 4th. However, when it happened I was still happy.., not jumping up and down screaming...but just relieved. It didn't hit me right away. Even though I knew it was happening it still felt unreal. A few hours later after I started telling people and getting a bunch of congrats it sunk in. Holy crap I'm engaged! That's when I cried tears of joy. You may not be totally surprised or jump up and down when it happens but it will be special and you won't be thinking "it's about time". It's hard to have an oh my god! moment when you've been together so long but once it happens you forget about how long you waited and are just happy it did. I hope it happens for you soon! I know the waiting sucks...it made me nuts. Feel free to vent to me anytime!

Thanks so much! I hope so. We'll be at 7 years in November with no end to waiting in sight. But first things first, I want him to be able to feel secure and gainfully employed. Then we can worry less financially, especially if we're going to think about starting the planning process for a wedding. Best of luck to you during your planning process! I'm sure it will be a beautiful wedding. :)

i certainly can't tell you that the wait is easy...i waited 9.5years for our engagement, but i was not very patient, lol. I have plenty of vents here, so you can go back and read. It is normal to want to be official. it's normal to be frustrated. you love him, you know it's coming eventually. just try to understand that him waiting is wanting to be able to provide for you as his wife. this is an amazing quality in a man, to want to be able to offer more for his wife, let him lead this.And trust me, you will be as surprised and excited as ever when it happens, not just exhausted for waiting.

otherwise, goodluck with keeping sane during the wait :) there may be a few times you want to put on a ring on yourself, but i know you'll be able to keep it together.