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First argument about our open bar--advice please

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11/21/2009 at 07:12 am

Our venue is allowing us to bring in our own alcohol. Which means we are saving a ton of money and buying alcohol as we find it on sale (hyvee, jewel etc.)

So in my mind...I'm thinking..okay we need to hire a bar tender/find someone we know to bartend for us..it's unlimited(we only have 200 guests) so we will have a ton of alcohol/kegs of beer.

I dunno I don't know how to plan a wedding let alone all these little details...

He seems to think we can just decorate a table and let our guests go and serve themselves as they please...I think with the older guests we probably need a  bartender..I just think it's totally not proper..but he's a tightwad and seems to think a bartender is going to cost us an arm and a leg and figures we should let the guests do it theirselves.

Have you ever heard of this?  Am I just being a bridezilla wanting this detail?  Or is it really just totally rude to have people serve themselves..or is he right? lol

It's so funny..every question I have problems with I go to PW and go back to him like "josh the pw girls say this and that...so we have to do that" lol.

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11/21/2009 at 07:16 am

We are having our own bar as well.  Personally I wouldn't have guests serve themselves.  For one, alcohol will go faster (who actually measures 1oz?), second it could create long lines, third I feel it takes away from the "feel" of a wedding.  I am going to ask my brother to ask 2 of his friends.  My brother is 26.  I will offer to pay $5 and hour and they split the tips. 

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11/21/2009 at 07:16 am

If I was having alcohol I would be also hiring a bartender or a close friend that knows what they are doing. Makes me really nervous to just let them do it themselves. I think that people would get even more drunk then they normally would, some people will really think it is rude, others might not know what to do. 

Not really sure of what to say to your FI but convince him to at least look for a bar tender. You can probably find a good priced one. 

11/21/2009 at 07:17 am

thanks...thats what I thought..it's not a damn bbq..it's a wedding lol.

11/21/2009 at 07:17 am

I wouldn't see it as a problem for the guest to serve themselves . . . . if you have a small guest list.  Seeing as you are having 200 people!  I would say get a bartender.  I don't think it will cost an arm and a leg if you have a friend that will help you out or find someone for cheap!  Hope this helps!

11/21/2009 at 07:18 am

I think it's a legal issue as well..Someone has to be responsible for the guests at the wedding.  If you hire bartenders/servers, they usually have insurance & stuff like that. 

11/21/2009 at 07:19 am

We are bringing in our own alcohol too.  I use to bartend so one of the guys I use to bartend with is going to be our bartender.  I offered to pay him $75 to bartend for the evening, plus I am going to let him drink while he is there so it comes out better for him.

Unless you are just doing beer, I would have a bartender(but that is just the way that I think)

Explain to him that bartenders don't have to break the bank-make a deal with someone you know-offer to let them have some drinks while they are there and give them $50 or $75. 

Sorry, if this is not much help:)

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11/21/2009 at 07:20 am

i would vote yes - you should have a bartender (and maybe 2 if you have 200 guests and are serving mixed drinks) so that you don't have to keep people in line waiting for drinks. it can't be that expensive just for the labor is it? our venue is charging us $350 in bartender fees (2 people) plus the cost of the drinks. 

11/21/2009 at 07:21 am

we have to buy something that sounded like "drab" insurance(I don't know if that is the word but thats what the lady said lol). She said we could do what we wanted for the bartender.

Maybe I'll just post on my fb and see if anyone responds since i have a lot of random people that I wouldn't be inviting to the wedding on my fb.

11/21/2009 at 07:27 am

omg..he is seriously being a HUGE jerk about this. I just told him that everyone has said bartender since we have so many guests and mixed drinks too.

He said "i'm not having some random dude serve me drinks thats ridiculous"..I even told him we could have a friend do it. He aint' having it.

He threw his hands up and said "I'm done planning this wedding you do it".

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