FMIL making me nuts!

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nejefe

07/23/2010 at 08:48 am

So my wedding is 16 days away now (ahhh!) and my FMIL is starting to make me nuts.

Last week she emailed us asking to add some family in PA to the wedding (even thought it was two weeks after the RSVP date)...it's her sister-in-law's cousins-in-lay (yeah try to follow that one)...somehow they heard about the wedding and said they were coming. Um, how can they just come if THEY WEREN'T INVITED???? So we did end up sending them an invitation for his mom...and THEY DIDN'T EVEN RSVP! WTF.

How today his mom just emailed me saying "Please include Tita Julie, she's my cousin from LA and she moved NYC last week and will definitely come"...WTF??? Again why will she definitely come if she wasn't invited??? And the wedding is in two weeks!!!!!!

I'm like really losing it. I feel like its so rude (1) for people to invite themselves like that; (2) for us to invite them so late in the game; (3) and then for them not bothering responding. And most importantly FMIL isn't even like asking if these people can be invited...she's just telling us. Nevermind the fact that my mom and dad are paying for the wedding and now this is 3 more people to add. They won't say anything but I know they're going to notice the count keeps changing!

I feel like people just keep inviting themselves because the want to see the wedding--since FI is Filipino and I'm Indian and we're having an Indian wedding. So now people are hearing about it and are like "oh we gotta see this".

I don't know what to do. I don't want too make a big deal of it but I should tell FI to talk to his mom right? I mean they need to understand they can't just keep adding people and they should take my parents finances into consideration AND also etiquette!

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kelbel_83

07/23/2010 at 11:46 am

Ummm... I'm coming, too. Hehe... just kidding ;) Yes, I think your FI should definitely talk to his mom and explain that the door to invite anyone is finally closed. Locked. You've swallowed the key. It's inconsiderate to do that, especially with just 16 days to go. But I'm sure she doesn't think she's doing anything wrong. She'll be fine once you tell her :)

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akbridehi

07/23/2010 at 01:59 pm

Oooh, me too, I'm definitely coming!!

I think your FI should definitely talk to his mom! You guys decided on a list of people you were going to invite, it is not her right to invite people - especially people you don't know!

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Boricua_Bride

07/25/2010 at 12:26 pm

If I am you I will tell your FMIL sorry but we can't invite more people to the wedding, head count to the food has been submitted, more people means more $$$, if she (MIL) is willing to contribute, hey more than welcome,......but at this point it is very rude and innapropriate what she is doing, beside your FH is not doing or saying anything either.

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3monkeys

08/22/2010 at 01:15 am

oh god, totally been there with the inlaws (i wont get into it)

lets just say me & FIL had a big scream fest over the ph i was talking normal & FIL was yelling at me for more invites, i got DH to call to explain (DH never got a chance to explain) n his dad hung up on him thats when he made me call...

ppl need to realise you book, pay for a certain # of ppl, chairs n covers, tables, food n the list goes on

its very rude if you ask me! iv felt ur pain first hand =(

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nejefe

10/08/2010 at 08:36 pm

Oh so quick update on my original post...we ended up inviting all those people that his mom wanted us to invite.....The PA family did end up showing up ...but we invited and paid for "Tita Julie" and she ended up NOT COMING! Apparently like the day before, DH's mom is like "oh she ended up not having time to come while she's in NYC"...REALLY???? You couldn't tell me that before we PAID FOR HER PLATE???

Oh and then...so one of DH's cousin's has a son but is no longer with the mother of the son and as far as we knew, wasn't seeing anyone so we invited the Aunt/Uncle, cousin and cousin's son. Then DH's uncle had emailed us and said "oh can Donald (the son) bring his long time girlfriend?" So we said sure since if we knew about her we would have given him a plus 1 anyways....the day before the wedding, his uncle's like "oh...I don't know who's coming anymore"...The aunt had major brain surgery leading up to the wedding so of course that's ok.....but apparently Donald broke up with the girl friend so she was no longer coming and there was no telling if Donald was coming...SO from this family...THREE PEOPLE...again that we paid for...didn't come to the wedding!!! I was so aggravated!

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MekanaSass

10/08/2010 at 09:39 pm

How incredibly frustrating! Like wedding planning isn't stressful enough without people causing more unnecessary stress. At least it's over and done with now and you two are husband and wife. Your wedding looked great and you two looked very happy. I love the look of Indian weddings (or anything for that matter. Very colorful and very beautiful). Nice mix btw :) (my DH is half Filipino)

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kelbel_83

10/11/2010 at 04:27 pm

Ugh... that sucks after all the drama :T Well... I agree with MekanaSass, your wedding was absolutely gorgeous and no one can take that away from you <3

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