Help-Engagement Shoot felt very fake...

Hey All,

This is my first post - have been a long time viewer of project wedding and have gotten great ideas so far from you all - thanks for the inspiration ladies!!

The reason I'm finally writing a post is that I had a bit of a mini breakdown and didn't sleep at all last night worrying.

Got our engagement shoot done yesterday and it felt so staged and fake. Don't get me wrong - I feel very comfortable with photographer and obviously FI :-) Photographer was great telling us how to pose so it would look great, but its just that I felt like I was acting and had an out of body experience.

Call it innocence or nievety or both...but didn't realise that getting our pics done would feel so staged - I probably had this romantic view that myself and FI would be in the moment and this would be captured...but didn't feel like this at all...is this the only way to get amazing photos? If so - my romanticism is shattered. Am so worried about this, as afraid that I'll feel like this on the day and I will miss any "real" moments with my FI, cause I'll be worried about pictures? (As I said - having bit of irrational panic attack)

Our photographer did say that he'd be taking a lot from a distance on the day and only some staged between the ceremony and reception, so won't all be like that on the day. Don't want to change photographers as he really is lovely and is so competent and has great portfolio (also great reviews from other people)

Not sure if this makes sense to anyone? Has anyone ever felt this way? Or am I just having a bridezilla panic attack? (If it is - I don't feel too guilty - it is genuinely my first little panic attack about the wedding thankfully! & hopefully the last)

Appreciate any views?

Thanks for reading Ladies!

Our photographer also posed us on our engagement shoot also got some "in the moment shots" same with our wedding day. Everything turned out fine

First off,  welcome to PW!

I don't think you're having a bridezilla moment at all.  You're worrying about something, not throwing a fit.  Throwing fits and being mean to people is what equates to a bridezilla to me.

You may be feeling how you're feeling because it's not the most natural thing for most people to be posed and told what to do to capture a picture.  I wouldn't panic just yet.  Will you get your e-pics much before your wedding day?  If so, take a look at them and see if you look more natural in them than you felt while they were being taken.  Sometimes how you feel may not translate they way you think it will on camera.  I'm not a professional, so I could be wrong, but I'm hoping for you. 

I would expect that you'll be so caught up in your wedding day that you wont really much notice that you're being staged for photographs.  Your photographer wanting to be taking photos from a distance is a good thing.  He wants to be behind the scenes and blend in, so that he does capture you in your natural interactions and not have you aware of a camera in your face at all times.

Welcome to PW!!! So glad you finally joined in on the boards :)

I have to say, I felt the same way on my wedding day.. eek. The photog even made us move to smile or kiss when we were having an "us" natural moment, which should've been one of those amazing intimate moments caught on film. But we still had lots of good photos, just not a lot of natural ones. 

I also felt that way when we did our epics, but I was completely surprised by how many natural ones there were. I was freaking out until I actually saw the photos. The photog did an amazing job there, so I was so happy to see we weren't positioned and posed the whole time!! I'm sure there will be lots of those in your photos as well :)

Welcome to Project Wedding!  We're so glad you're posting!

I think it's natural to have a bit of panic when something in the process doesn't feel the way you think it's going to feel.  I certainly had a few anxiety/meltdown moments leading up to the wedding.  I think you probably just need to try to relax and see how your e-pics turn out.  E-pics are usually more staged than wedding pics because you're sort of creating a moment there for the camera.  On your wedding day, you'll be having lots of moments in front of the camera, so there won't be as much staging needed.  I do think you should probably go ahead and go with some of the staged pics, though.  As awkward as they may feel, sometimes the photographer really is seeing a vision that you haven't seen yet, and some great pictures come from those moments.

These are some of my favorite pictures from my wedding day:

I love them.  But posing for them was soooo awkward.  It was almost 100 degrees outside, we were sweating, and standing with our foreheads stuck together for a few minutes while she got a few shots was AWKWARD.  But she was seeing what we weren't seeing yet.  And I'm so glad she did.  :)

*If* you feel confident in your photographer's work with other weddings, try to just go with it and plan on having to do some posing, but know that the majority of the day he/she will be capturing your genuine moments.

Taking that I dont love taking pictures I will probably feel the exact same way. I will agree with the other ladies and say that you should wait until you see the pics to panic. Once you see them and love them then ur anxiety will disappear.....prayerfully. :-) Good Luck!!!

I felt the EXACT same way after taking my e-pics!! After seeing so many shoots on here and on weddinggawker, I thought it woud come naturally and be romantic like you were saying. He did get some good shots, but after that, I learned to speak up and say exactly what I want during shooting. On the wedding day it was great. There were some posed, but I think he also got a lot of in the moment shots too. I haven't seen any pics yet!! It felt a lot more natural and romantic on the wedding day. E-pics are just practice :) Welcome to PW!

Welcome to PW!! Glad that you have joined us on the boards!  I personally did not have e-pics, but on our wedding day, we did have some posed shots and they did feel a little wierd, but we also spoke up and actually had a TON of fun with our pics.  I think that since we are so used to taking "regular" pictures that when it comes to taking shots with a pro, it can sometimes feel unnatural.  I would wait until you get them before you panic and you are not being a bridezilla AT ALL!!

Express this in a calm "I know what I want" way to your photographer. I told my photographer she has time before the ceremony for bridal party photos (all staged but fun) then about 25 minutes after the ceremony for family & creative bride/groom shots. The rest of the night is shot in the moment.

The only reason i'm comfortable with this because i've been through it before (i'm divorced) and FI & I have done photo shoots and a couples boudoir session together and its mostly staged and uncomfortable but can be moved through quickly. We skipped epics entirely so our photog would shoot our rehearsal party.

Welcome to the boards!:)

I sorta felt the same way with our engagement pictures, and I think it's completely normal. Our photographer actually told us the best way to kiss in pictures, and posed us to get the best shots. She made us fake laugh a lot too. It was sorta awkward, and nothing like I anticipated. But they turned out GREAT! I loved them, and had a terrible time choosing just a few.

Our wedding day, she posed us a little bit for "formal" portraits, but the rest of the time, and especially at the reception, we didn't even know she and her second shooter were there. We haven't got our proofs yet, but I'm sure she did a fantastic job, and I can't wait to see all the moments she captured without us knowing!

I'm sure yours will be absolutely beautiful, and if you can, don't forget to come back and show us!