Help!! Invitation etiquette

I have a friend that I have known for years and she is getting married next month. I'm not super close to her, but we've managed to maintain our friendship over the years. We always invite one another to birthdays, graduations, engagements, so on and so forth. I got her STD card a few months ago. I went online a several days ago and RSVP'd for me and my FI (assuming he was invited too). Her wedding happens to land on my FI's birthday weekend. We are planning a trip to Vegas, so I made sure that we leave the following day so that we wouldn't miss her wedding. This past weekend, I got her wedding invite and she had "1" as the number of persons invited.

I'm a little upset and hurt. She knows I'm engaged, she was invited to our engagement party. I understand that there might be a space or budget issue, but he is my FI. I would understand if he was just a boyfriend but this is the man I am going to marry in a few months. I even scheduled FI's birthday weekend around her wedding. Now, I'm inclined not to go to her wedding. My question is, should I talk to her about it or just let it go. I don't want to make her feel bad if there is a budget issue, but I don't think it's right to invite one half and not the other. I'm torn...

Weird.  Yeah, I always heard that if someone is engaged, married, or living with someone, then that person should be invited.  So it's very strange that she didn't invite your FI.  Whether you talk to her about it or decide to not go depends on how close you feel to her I guess.  If you think she wouldn't mind you asking, then ask.  Especially since you've arranged your personal plans around her wedding.  But if you think she might get offended, and you don't think it would be a big deal if you didn't go to the wedding, then maybe decline the invitation?  Man, weddings are soooo sticky!  I'm dreading these issues when I mail out my own invites!!  I guess it comes down to - how badly do you want to go to her wedding?

Ettiquette says you respond with a "no" if your fiance isn't invited, but I think if you guys are good friends, you might be able to call her and ask.  But that is really strange that she wouldn't even invite your fiance, especially when you invited her to your engagement party.  Maybe it was overlooked on her part?  When and if you call, give her the benefit of the doubt, and try to be sympathetic.  Hopefully she just forgot to include him.

eek...thats a tough one...maybe you and your fiance can just go to the ceremony together and then leave for his bday celebration?

As a bride, its easy to forget who's with who and other details so i'd say give her the benefit of the dought that maybe she just overlooked that detail. 

Or if you guys have open communication let her know "I completey understand that you may not have room or are on a budget, so would it be possible to RSVP last so if there is room, i'd like to bring my fiance with me.  If its not possible, don't worry about it, i completely understand. 

thats a hard one! good luck!  tell us how it turns out!

Yikes, that is a sticky situation.

I would be completely honest with her and explain your situation. I would call her up and ask for some clarification. "I got your invitation in the mail this week and I was a little confused, is my fiance not invited?" There's always the possibility that not inviting your FI was an accident... maybe someone else was addressing the invitations or he was simply overlooked. But, if she states some sort of budget problems as a reason, then I'd let her know then and there that you won't be able to make the wedding because you have planned a weekend getaway for your FI's birthday.

Don't stress about making her feel bad about her budget... if she chose to cut significant others and finaces from her guestlist, she's bound to get some phone calls... or worse, guests who add their own +1. Be the better guest and call her up for clarification.

Good luck!

It might have been an oversight or ignorance of the inviting etiquette on her part.  She should have invited your FI.  If you don't really mind missing it, and this'll cause you more stress than not, then I'd say respond with no.  I had a friend who did this too, granted it was before we were engaged, but she's known both of us for over 10 years ....the amount of time FI and I have been together so she should've known better.  I just playfully brought it up to her and she's like, oh yeah, I'm sorry, bring him!  I guess it's up to if you want to go or not.  GL!!

Soon2Be- going to the ceremony together would have been a good idea, but her ceremony is Friday afternoon so I was only planning on going to her reception since I have to work during the day.

I told a mutual friend about the situation and she finds it weird too. She thinks it might be an overlook, but I really don't think it is. I'm afraid to bring anything up to her in fear of making her feel bad and sounding tacky. I don't want to have a falling out over it, but now FI doesn't think we should invite her to our wedding. :( I don't know what to do!

Something similar happened to me...we were living together before the engagement and only I was invited to a wedding. We were pretty close friends so I asked, and they didn't even skip a beat to say of course he was invited! Apparently, when they changed my address in their address book they didn't add his name and they printed out labels right off program they used!!

So totally ask!! HTH!!

P--it's totally not tacky since etiquette says she should have invited him in the first place.  And since you don't want to have a falling out over this, you're more than likely not gonna want to make a big thing of not inviting her to your wedding in return.  In other words, if you think you'll invite her to your wedding to avoid any hurt feelings, then you are more than entitled to ask her about FI coming. 

As brides, we are expecting some guests to add a +1 (unfortunately) and others to not come at all.  So given this, I don't think it's presumptuous at all of you.  Just think of a genuine way to approach it!

holy cow. that is a sticky situation. i would call her and just double check if the invite is for you only and not FI. she'll either say "oh my gosh no, thats a mistake, of course he's invited!" or she'll say "yeah, times are rough, yada yada". Then at least you'll know the truth and then decline the invitation. You could say, "He's a part of me now and I can't go without him" or something like that. good luck!