Help!! Invitation etiquette

paola - you know what?  since you're not going to the ceremony anyway, i say skip it all together.  you can tell her that you had already planned the getaway for FI's b-day and though you'd love to come, you can't.  that way, no harm done.  

Maybe, since you are friends and it is your FI's birthday, you should call her and say "I would love to come to your wedding, but since it fallson FI's birthday and just I am invited to the wedding, I will only be able to come for a little while." Then she will have the opening to say, oh you both are invited, or whatever. If she DOESN'T say that, then you can say, well if you want to use my space for someone else it is fine. Then just invite her to your wedding not her husband ;-P

I'm inclined to do that, Michelle. What do I do about FI thinking we shouldn't invite her now. He's a little upset that she didn't include him.

I would just include her. Take the high road, you'll feel better about yourself!!  :)

that's a tough one.  maybe just invite her and not her husband?? ha...i kid, i kid.  i agree with rach, invite her/her husband.  i would be upset too if i were your FI but maybe tell him that you guys are more mature than that.  who knows, she may decide not to come to yours since you didn't come to hers!  two fewer people to include on your MONDO guest list!!

Hahaha, yea you're right. I wouldn't feel right now inviting her to mine. And she probably won't come too.

Wow P, this is a hard one, but I know you'll make a good choice wether to go or not. And I know you'll be the bigger person in all of this. If it was a mistake or not. Good luck

Ok, so I decided to send her an email and let her know why I'm not going to attend, but I'm not sure how to word it. I was thinking something like it's his birthday weekend and although I really want to go to her wedding, I also don't want to be without him on his birthday?? Help!! I'm at lose for the right words!!

FI thinks I should email her and is it was an oversight on her part then we should extend the invite to our wedding. If it wasn't an oversight, then he thinks he was a petty move and we shouldn't invite her.

good idea! totally say, "its his birthday and i don't want to be without him." That'll give her room to let you know if indeed it was an oversight.

I would call her personally. I think an email might come off bitchy, no matter how you word it. If you two are close enough, maybe ask her to join you for a cup of coffee. I would explain that you and your fiance are really close and do most everything together, and especially since it is his birthday, you would feel really bad leaving him home alone. You understand that guest list numbers might be tight, but you wouldn't feel right about attending a wedding without him, especially onhis birthday.