Hey hey newlyweds!

Ana,

I am sorry you're having difficulties with your new husband and aplaude your courage in posting here. It's also good news that you've sought counseling. In my experience, jealousy comes from a place of extreme insecurity on the part of the person experiencing the jealousy. Rather than turn it in on themselves they project it onto others (in this case, you) and become controlling and possessive. It really has nothing to do with what you are doing...unless you're trying to provoke his insecurity. But it has everything to do with his fears of losing you or you abandoning him. Does he have a history of the people close to him leaving him? It could be his mother or father or other family or former lovers. These are things that should be brought up in your counseling. Also, you can "help" him by reassuring him that you love him and will work through this with him, but that it needs to change, which means he needs to change. It won't happen over night, but with his willingness to grow and your patience and encouragement coupled with lots of guidance from a qualified therapist, it is possible to put the "green-eyed monster" to sleep forever. Good luck to you!

Lori, thank you for your words. Counseling seems to be working because he is really trying to change. Actually, counseling was my husbands idea because he knows he needs help with this problem. I think everyone is jealous in one way or another, but at times my husband goes over board. Don't get me wrong. My husband is wonderful and I love him. He's so romantic, affectionate, and loving. He makes me feel so special and beautiful. I work, I go to school and still do things around the house and my husband helps me a lot. Sometimes I get home from school and he's doing the laundry or making dinner. We do a lot of things together around the house and it's great. I really appreciate him a lot, but the jealously is what really concerns me. I guess no marriage is really perfect. I'm a really independent and strong person. I'm very out spoken and I'm able to stand up for myself and there has been a few times when I really had to and that's when we decided to go to counseling. The counselor really makes a lot of sense and my husband is starting to realize and listening to our counselor. I'm glad we started to get help right away before things got any worse. I know my husband won't change over night, but he's told me that he really wants the help to change because he loves me and he doesn't want to loose me. I love him too. For better, for worse, until death do us part. Have a great weekend Lori.