As some of you know from my post as of today im like...57DPO or something crazy. I had a blood test done yesterday...not pregnant. I have an appt Monday to maybe try and see whats going on. Part of me thinks its just stress. So my question is how do you keep the stress down when TTC. Im want this SOO bad...and I want it NOW LOL. Ive always been nervous that I would be the person that would never get pregnant...even though its what Ive wanted the most in my life. more than an amazing career, more than to travel the world...I want to be a mother. I want the chance to raise and child show a child this gloriousness of my God.  I have this dream of homeschooling my children (no judgment here please) growing a garden with them, teaching them sign language, making homemade baby food, cloth diapering, smooshing there sweet cheeks and lavashing them in kisses! I feel like its on my mind 24/7 and I keep hearing that im stressing too much over it....HOW CAN I NOT! especially since im afraid there may be something off about my cycles! any thoughts!?

TIA

Ash

my only advise is, believe it will happen! i know this sounds stupid if you are in the middle of ttcing and it hasn't happend yet. i think our stressing about it and that our minds are on this topic "all the time" is a normal thing. and always putting the pressure on oneself not to think about it does put the extra stress on you. just make sure you are being checked out properly so you know what your are dealing with and what you can do about it.

sending you big hugs!

Ashley I'm really sorry that this month wasn't meant to be and that AF hasn't shown up yet - but like youandme said, believe in that it will happen that you someday get your BFP. Stress is a really really bad factor while TTC.
I had the same issue in Sept.-Oct. when AF was 2 weeks late but never got a BFP on the four HPT's. It was sooooo frustrating when AF arrived and I was a crying wreck for days.

After this DH was so worried and said that stress is the worst factor while hoping for a BFP - and that was the time I really thought about this the first time. Only god will know when it's the right time to get/have a baby. Not an OPK, or a thermomether or anything else.
At the moment I really think I'm the only person who don't get preggo. Four of my cousins, my SIL and a really good friend of mine announced in the last four month!!! I ever thought I will be the first in our girls clique but I was wrong ;) So the lovely thing DH said is that it would be boring to announce another pregnancy and it would be more amazing to have a winter baby and no summer baby like all of my friends. So it will be special again and not only another baby :)

It's hard to explain how not to stress yourselve. For luck DH and I will move into our new house in early Feb. so I'm thinking of a lot other things except TTC. So I don't stress a lot at the moment. We both think it will be more special to conceive our first baby in our new house so I'm not sad if it will take another two month. I feel a lot better since not thinking about a baby/TTCing the whole day. I'm trying to distract from this theme so I know it will be a lot better to conceive.
I know several women who tried for year and they never got a BFP. Once they said they would no longer try anymore they were preggo in no time!! My Sis is a midwife and she also tells me not to think to much about this. I must think about a saying she said to me and it makes me smile everytime:
"Stress is the best BC pill and it is for free!"  ;)

Maybe you can get distracted. Go out with friends, go into the gym or anything else that you enjoy. It will help you not only to think of babies and TTC.

HTH and that you will get your BFP soon! FX and Baby Dust your ways!!! :)

I agree with the ladies above...stress isn't helping. But I do understand that you have TTC and the Baby Project always on your mind, which doesn't help with stress...I was in the same place 2-3 months ago.

What really help me, as Kathryn suggested, was gym. When I was home and got really stressed, I just went to gym and run like crazy (there's snow outside so I can't jogg in the street this time of the year)and it helped a lot. I felt better and much more positive right after.

I know you also said you don't want to temp because you don't want to obsess with this + your shift doesn't allowed, but it's really a good way to keep track of your cycle and it really kept me out of the blue. I always had very regular cycles (28 days, O'd around day14-15), but after my EP, my cycles went completly crazy (over 50 days). But because I temped, I was less stressed cause I knew I'd O late and AF would arrive later than expected.

Finally, I think talking with your Dr. and try to figure out what is happening will help a lot. He might suggest some hypothesis or tests and just knowing that someone who's trained for this is taking charge of this, or just saying that it's normal, will probably help taking down the stress.

Big hugs sweetie!

I feel EXACTLY the same way you do. My family keeps telling me I "need to relax and just have fun" and that I "too serious" about it. But the desire to become a mother isn't something that you can just turn off. And if I'm not getting anywhere by temping to ensure perfect timing and track ovulation, how far is "relaxing and having fun" going to get me? Nowhere. I think they're all full of malarky. Lol.

Honestly, I think praying and temping are the only things keeping me from going insane. I feel like they're the only productive things I can do everyday to help the process. And, if worse comes to worse, like it did this morning for me, I just keep reading I John 5:14, and remember that my requests are being heard.

Patience is hard, though. I think this month I'm going to concentrate on doing some work around the house. Wallpaper stripping, painting etc. And try to loose a few pounds that I gained over the Holidays. Maybe start walking on the bike trail a few days a week. Try to divert my frustration into something positive.

I'm not where you are yet (but SO soon--I cannot wait to start trying) but I cannot even imagine how stressed you ladies must get!

One of my best girlfriends went through nearly an identical situation, Ashley. She was on something like day 60 of her cycle. I think her doctor gave her something to kick start her period again, and from there she just tried focus on other things so she didn't get overly stressed. She ended up getting her BFP just a few months later. She has told me as hard as it may be to not really focus on getting pregnant, it helps a ton!

I think it is so rude when people tell you to relax and have fun.  Many times, that has NOTHING to do with why you have not gotten BFP yet and as someone who tried for a really long time, I think it belittles the struggle.  Anyhow, now that I got that out of my system, :) just remember that a healthy woman under 30 has like a 20% chance each month of getting pregnant - that's 1 in 5!  I know it can seem like EVERYONE is pregnant around you when you are trying, just remember that it is not unusual for it to take a few months.  That is why drs often require you try for a year before they will do special testing.  

If you do think that charting and temping and OPKs are too much pressure, you can always try going without for a couple months to see if that helps you relax. Personally, though, I preferred knowing when I O'd so we could be sure the timing was right and seeing how my chart shaped up - it made me feel somewhat in control and it showed that, at least for me, my stress level was not doing ANYTHING to my cycle and that it could be ruled out as the cause of my problems.  The only month where things were slightly wacky was the month I took the bar exam and even then I think I just had a less noticable thermal shift b/c my sleep pattern was all out of whack that month, but I still O'd during my usual time.  GL honey!

I've been struggling with this too. It's causing me to turn my frustration against the hubby. I have too always feared that I will be the one that should be able to have a baby quickly, instead I'm waiting...and stressing.

I found it helpful to take a walk and talk with God. I had to really lay it all out at his feet and it helped me this week. I gotta try to hold on to that peace as we get closer to AF week. :/