As some of you know AF hadn't shown up for a while, well it hit the 2 months spot last week and I started to panick some more and decided to go see my doctor. 

So I went yesterday and was there for most of the day having tests and got my results.  My brain tumor has got significantly bigger which has stopped AF from arriving.  Which means I can't conceive until things take a turn.  My doc put me on a medication - which I used to take 12 yrs ago for this tumor and it never agreed with me.  But it's the only thing that can get me pregnant and will bring AF back.  My doc's plan is for me to keep taking it and then TTC when AF starts up again.  I'll have to be on it all through a pregnancy and I won't be able to breastfeed which has got me down (it's safe for me and the baby which would be reassuring) but then after that we'll have to readdress things and I may need radiation.

I've already started feeling the side effects of this drug and I'm feeling really lowsy and down. They're going to get worse for the next few weeks and bleh... please pray!

Oh my goodness sweetie! I am sending you big, big hugs. I can only imagine how frustrating this must be for you. I know it has got to be difficult for you, I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers for sure.

Praying... This is sad news, but good news in that you get to have a LO regardless of the tumor & that it shouldnt effect the pregnancy! Look at the side effects of the drug as prepping you for how pregnancy will feel in the 1st Trimester... Good luck honey!  

I am so sorry. I can't even imagine having a turmor. Praying you get pregnant quickly so that you can get the rest resolved.

As an advocate of nursing I understand that you want to do this, But forumlas are so much better today than they were even 6 years ago. Remember it is holding the baby that creates the bond. Don't prop bottle and don't let others feed the baby just as if you were nursing. That is really the biggest difference. You will just have to be adimate about this. People will want to feed the baby for you and you just have to explain that this is your special time!

*HUGS*

Jenny, I wish I could cross the pond and give you a huge hug. 

You are so brave for going through all of this, and I really admire you for doing everything you need to do in order to have a healthy pregnancy. I know you are feeling down, but think of the eventual outcome if and when AF comes back :-) 

Saying many prayers for you and your health, honey. 

Love you lots! xo

I had no idea you had a brain tumor.  I give you so much credit for being strong and doing what you need to do for you and future baby.  I certainly know how depressing it can be to have trouble TTC and/or have to put it off, but just remember that it will all be worth it the first time you hold your baby in your arms!  Will be thinking of you!

Jenny - I'm so sorry you have to hit another obstacle but please know that we are here for you. And if you ever want/need to talk - feel free to PM me! Sending you love hugs and happy thoughts!

Oh my goodness. I can't imagine what you must be going through. Sending hugs and prayers your way!

Girls... THANK YOU SO MUCH for your kind and supportive words.  I cannot tell you how much it means to me and how much I just wish I could hug you all.  I've not been so active on the boards the last week or so and I'm still feeling crappy but it's just so nice to know how much you are all here for me.... HUGE Cuddles and love x x x x

I created a blog to try and help me talk about things... so hopefully it'll help.  Its on www.littlebigheadtroll.com