if you could do it over...

I was very happy with my wedding but there are a couple of things I would have done differently.

I would NOT have cut my guest list. We thought 10-20% wouldn't come but it was 35% that didn't come. It was too late when I found out so I couldn't invite those who didn't make the cut. Because we didn't have enough guests, we weren't going to meet our food and beverage minimum. We ended up having a cocktail hour with passed hors d'oeuvres, upgrading our menu, offering champagne and allowing 1 liter 7-up & 1 liter cider refills at $5/bottle. We figured that we would rather go over the min and our guests have better food/drink than to have to pay the min without the additional food & drink.

Other than that, I think I would have liked my bouquet bigger and with more ivory roses.

hannikan - what do you mean by a reception rehearsal? Have the wedding party go over the order of things that will happen during the reception?

Hi Rosy,


Oh my gosh you're right! I'm so glad you posted this because I just looked at my Yank Sing contract and there is a $14500 good and beverage minimum. And I guess this doesn't include the $4000 rental/cleaning fee? Yikes. =( I think I'll have to upgrade my menu too.

Hi Margaret!

Yup, the food/beverage min doesn't include the rental/cleaning fee. Originally, we were planning to get the "Love Birds Soaring Wing to Wing" menu (not the lowest one but the second lowest one) and have about 27-30 tables so we didn't every worry about meeting the minimum. It wasn't until 3-4 weeks before my wedding when I received a lot of No's and still had a lot of outstanding RSVPs, I was really worried. My parents had mentioned going to a wedding at YS with a cocktail hour and passed hors d'hoeuvres before so I asked Joy about that. They also set up a wine bar for us during cocktail hour. I wanted to upgrade my fish to the smoked seabass but it was $100/table. At that point, it made more sense to just pick a different menu. Joy suggested that we upgrade the chicken to peking duck for $20 so that helped.

I have a spreadsheet that I used to figure out the YS costs (I broke it down per number of tables). Let me know if you want me to send it to you.

Rosy

Yeah, we may have to end up upgrading the menu at Yank Sing because I don't know if we'll have enough guests. But that's not so bad...we all get to eat better food! Or cocktails. One of the two.

Would not have bought such an expensive dress! Although dress is gorgeous, probably would regret if didn't get it. It's Ulla Maija Couture.
http://www.brides.com/fashion/dresses/gallery/runway/designer/ullamaija/detail/136989/?ff=Bride&f=Wedding+Gown+Designer%3AAnna+Maier+%2F+Ulla-Maija+Couture&f=Season%3ASpring+2007&max=Season&max=Wedding+Gown+Designer&offset=19&page=3

If I could do it all over again, I would have hired a DOC instead of asking a friend. Since I am a professional Event Planner, I practically planned the whole destination wedding myself. But on the day of the wedding, I just couldn't be a planner and a bride at the same time. I should have spent the $1000 for the DOC so I didn't have to worry too much of the little details. Oh well... we still had a great wedding none the less.

Because I was married 10 years ago (and divorced 4 years later) and had the big, over the top wedding, in many ways, I am getting a second chance. Not only with the choice of husband (now, at 32, I am more than prepared to be married AND have chosen the right man, who is also ready to be a husband) but with the wedding plans too...

I don't wish anyone this kind of hind-sight, but if you have it, it's somewhat of a gift.

The first time around:
--Big, formal City Wedding
--Mass in a Basilica
--Reception in a swanky hotel ballroom
--250 guests
--4 Bridesmaids and 4 Groomsmen; FG and RB
--40 voice choir, organist, pianist, soprano soloist, trumpeter, liturgical dancers
--Custom made gown with 20 foot train and cathedral length veil
--Gourmet Italian Food
--18 piece Big Band
--5 tier, designer cake
--horse drawn carriage

(continued on next post...#21)

THIS time:
--casual, beach wedding in Kauai
--DIY ceremony: writing our own vows and including rituals such as a ring warming, lei exchange and hand ceremony
--cocktails at the pool and dinner in a private room at the resort's restaurant
--25 guests
--no bridal party, we have asked all of the guests to wear "Resort Whites" (white, ivory, tan, khaki) and participate in the wedding doing readings, blessings, lei exchange, etc.
--Guitar flute duo for the ceremony and cocktail hour --Off-the-rack dress - Silk Beaded Gown by Sean Collection, available on Nordstroms.com for $300+, I bought it BNWT on eBay for $80.
--Hawaiian-style luau food buffet
--iPod or CDs for the dinner reception; no dancing planned, but could be impromptu with our guests!
--No cake, dessert buffet instead with 10 different selections including my favorite, creme brulee, and FI's favorite macadamia nut tart (like pecan pie) as well as our favorite to share...chocolate lava cake.
--no special transportation...everything is taking place on a resort and it's all walking distance to each other

Price difference between my first wedding (dress rehearsal) and this one!? About half! And this time our closest friends and immediate family will be celebrating for a whole week, not just one day!

I'm not even married yet, but I think if I could go back and plan all over again we would hit mexico and avoid all the drama and money and time that wedding planning takes.  The thought actually was thrown out there, but we liked the idea of the BIG party.  When it comes down to it I think too many ppl focus on the things and not the important reason you are there in the first place.  It's kind of depressing to see so many these days getting caught up in all the hoopla.