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Is It What You Expected?

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12/07/2011 at 02:17 pm

Ladies,

 

Now that your married, is it all that you thought it would be? Did you have an idea of how your marriage would be...is it living up to the picture?

 

Ive been married for little over 3 months; its been great for the most part and I am adjusting well to my move (from NYC to the Midwest) but when people said its a lot work I didnt realize how much work it entailed! LOL

But I am willing to do what it takes to remain happy and in love in my marriage. I come from a broken home so I want that cycle to end with me :)

 

12/16/2011 at 01:35 pm

For us, nothing really changed. Well, we lived together since we were engaged so that was probably part of it. But we'd been together nearly 6 years when we married, and had always looked at the relationship as lasting and something that required work. We do have to work more at making time to really talk, but that probably has less to do with being newlyweds and more that we both started new and more demanding jobs around the same time.

12/16/2011 at 02:40 pm

glad to hear your transition from being single to married was seamless!

Its always important to make time to listen to one another and just be buddies. That's really great.

Thanks so much for sharing!

12/19/2011 at 09:44 am

You could not be more right about making time to listen! We've caught ourselves forgetting that, so we've started making plans to do things to bring us together.

01/12/2012 at 10:16 am

i did not really have any expectations for what it would be like, but us its really no different then before, as far as work meh i dont know to me it doesnt seem like work, im still waiting on the challenges lol im sure it well be interesting when we have kids 

my adjustment was my mil she went a little crazy after the wedding

01/19/2012 at 05:47 pm

Hi there! I did not have any expectations except of course to just continue loving and respecting each other.

We were already living together 2 years so we came back from Jamaica and fell back into our routines. But even though its the same..its different. Can't explain it. But you feel an extra sense of loyalty and responsibility being married. So yes it does take work but like you said, i plan to roll up my sleeves and work as well!

01/29/2012 at 08:18 pm

We're experiencing our first friends' divorce as a married couple, which is a real bummer.  (Our wedding probably played a role in when the wife dropped the d-bomb on her husband, and then started shacking up with her best friends boyfriend of 9 years...yay friendpocalypse 2012!)  I feel like I took that kind of hard, and DH definitely took it hard. 

Our jobs have been kicking our butts, and we've gotten a cat (who we love <3), but overall married life is pretty great.  Honestly?  Living together for us is wonderful, and the best part is that we're living together and not planning a wedding at the same time...which we were doing for almost two years.  :)  Fewer craft scraps, less talk about guest lists, and more time just spent cuddling in bed together.  My husband is very willing, and very conflict adverse, so things are good for us generally.

05/09/2012 at 08:19 am

The only big change has been my last name! We had been living together for over 2 years when we got married, so really it's the same as it was before. A marriage takes work, but so does a relationship in general so I don't think we are putting in any extra work that we weren't putting in before we got married.

Well, I guess the only big difference is that I am very opinionated and can have a bad temper (especially when I get hungry) but I am trying to be more mindful of that because whatever I feel in those moments is just anger in those moments and I know that the next day I'm going to feel awful if I lose it on DH. Plus, he has not once gotten angry with me so I am just trying to be as reasonable as he is.

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05/09/2012 at 08:29 am

I gotta be honest I don't really feel much of a change. I haven't change my name yet thru but I'm sure I will soon. We still argue the same lol So I guess that's good because no change there. I guess I just felt we were already married before. I think we were committed to each other as we would if we were married. Treated each other as if we were married maybe. I do know that I've seen a change in him though. I think when he sees me upset or mad at him he takes it nicely instead of fighting back. Its nice to see that and makes me try to do the same. SOOO I guess there is a change I just don't feel any different and I haven't decided if that's a bad thing lol

05/09/2012 at 07:28 pm

We have been married about a year-and-a-half and even though we lived together for 3 years before we got married, like a few of you have said, it just feels a little different.  I feel like I want to be a better person for DH and I see that he is also doing the same thing. 

We have had a trying time since the wedding though, not with either one of us, but with family issues, we bought a home, and then DH lost his job - all within 2011.  He has a wonderful job now and he totally loves it. 

The only disappointing thing that I have to say about the last year-and-a-half is that we still have not been able to go on a HM, but we will eventually. 

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