One thing that used to make me NUTS as a kid was having to worry about little things.  My mom (God love her) would flip over the smallest thing. . .I mean, it's not like we lived in a well-kept home (oh believe me!  My parents house is a MESS). . .but gosh if one little thing was lost, forgotten, or broken she would be on edge about it.  

That said, how many times do we have to stop OURSELVES from making something bigger than it is?  How often do we take something out on our SO's when really, it would be a lot less stress to let it be?  

A lot of times, it's SO MUCH EASIER to let something go than to spend time being annoyed or picking a fight about it.  

Examples:

1) Let's say your DH doesn't hang his towels up.  ANNOYING right?  Sure, but, what's a better solution: nagging (AGAIN), picking a fight, fuming about it, and being annoyed. . .OR, accepting that it's a habit he has, realizing it may not change, and picking the darn thing up and hanging it yourself?

2) Or, let's say you ask your DH to take out the trash.  He's annoyed having to do it (did you interrupt his football game or something?  LOL!) and the bag drips smelly trash juice on the floor.  He doesn't notice.  How do you handle that?  

Is it worth going after him and calling him a nitwit for making a mess (when he did what you asked), or, should you go give him a teasing punch, jokingly tell him he's a trash juice spreader, and grab a paper towel yourself?

My *guess* here is that if you are sweet, tease him about it. . .he'll give you a big smile and clean up the trash juice himself.  If you respond by getting annoyed with his 'incompetence' you have not only created tension but he's going to begrudgingly go clean it up. . .and next time you want him to take out the trash well, have fun with that. . . .

A LOT of making a relationship work is about how you approach situations like this.  

What is a time where you could, or should, have handled something better?

Thinking about this, what are some things that you realize you do that may be creating unnecessary tension (come on gals, be honest. . .we're all guilty of this at some point), and how could you resolve the issue with a different approach?

wow, i read this when i was seriously annoyed with fi. still am...lol

I am a "flipper" .....   but I know what my issue is ...I just don't always get hold of it in time ...

My problem is I try not to let things stress me .... but they are always in the back of my mind  ....all it takes is one big thing to set me off and then I go from that to every little thing that has bothered me in the last 2 months :/ 

DH has figured me out by now .... I flip ... go off on a tangent for a while ... then I stop ..then I reflect on it .... then I apologise :/

Now when I get done with my tangent DH will say "You good now?"   :)

Oh Niecy, I am guilty of that too.

I flip out. Bad. FI just sits there pretending to listen to me when he's really listening to the tv or something. Or off in his own world. He's good at that.

I pretty much let things go.  But if I ask DH to do something, I want him to do it within a reasonable amount of time (DAYS is usually not reasonable lol).  So I only flip when he doesn't do something I ask (and I really don't ask a lot), then I ask like 57 times, and on the 57th time, I flip my lid.  For example, we keep and then sell cans in our house.  He wants them to be crushed before they go in the can bin to save space.  So I expect him to crush them.  When a couple of days have built up, I ask him to crush them...because he apparently can't see them on the counter.  Usually I give up and crush them myself because he forgets to do it while he has shoes on.  But occasionally, I save them up for a week or two and ask him everyday to do it.  After about another week of asking him to do it everyday, I flip.  By this time, I feel like he deserves a good round of my flipping out on him for being a lazy bum!

He, however, asks me to do stuff 24/7, and flips if I don't do it immediately.  I tell him he's lost his damn mind!  Not the maid.

So I only flip when he doesn't do something I ask (and I really don't ask a lot), then I ask like 57 times, and on the 57th time, I flip my lid.

HAHAHAA!  I'd flip too :)

flipper here too! I need to be better about being so anal!

LOL... "letting things go" sounds so easy right! smh. My hubby drives me up a freaking wall... I too have the problem of NEVER asking for something to be done, but when I do he takes his dear old sweet freakin time. UGH! I truly think they do these sort of things on purpose.

I'm a flipper too!  I can't help it and I did not used to be like this.  The littlest things make me nuts.  My fuse is this (snapping my fingers) short!. I know I have annoying habits too and my FI accepts them without saying much, but I can't hold my tongue or keep myself from exhibiting behavior that tells him that I am pissed most of the time.

And when it seems I am okay...something else happens to make me flip again.  It is a terrible cycle and one that I am desperately trying to change because it affects everyone in my household...they've told me so.