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Loss of friendship...

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09/03/2010 at 10:18 pm

I had posted below right before our wedding about how many selfish people we encountered during our entire wedding process. For most I've just shrugged off but there is one snub that has really been bothering me.

One of my really close friends RSVPd yes for herself and her husband and then they backed out the week of by facebook message (second person to do this to us). She is pregnant and told me she can barely stand up and was so sorry to back out so late, so I totally said no problem even though we had already paid for their plate. (She knew we had paid for their plates already too) Well... I find out that she was still working fulltime up until 2 days ago and in a very demanding job and there are pics of her partying while fully pregnant a few days after our wedding on FB ... so her telling me she can barely stand-up was a flat out lie.... I was so hurt! I tried to let it slide....

Well... we are now 2 weeks after the wedding and no card from her or even a message of congratulations. When their wedding happened last year, I was there for her from the start! We weren't able to attend but we still sent a *considerable* amount of money in a congratulatory card because thats what friends do! Her baby shower was a few months ago and I went all out for that as well! I feel like I put in so much, financially and more importantly emotionally for her and got squat in return!

I'm so hurt by the snub and don't know what to do.

I'm not usually a petty person.. but this has really hurt me a lot. Her baby will be due soon in the coming months and I don't plan on congratulating her or doing anything for the friendship anymore.... and although I know that won't solve anything and will probably make me feel worse and probably end the friendship.... I don't know how to get past this.

It sucks and I just really needed a place to vent this out! Can this be salvageable? Can I dig somewhere deep inside to move past this and be the bigger person?

 

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09/04/2010 at 11:01 am

Maybe it can be salvageable if you let her know how you're feeling. You can gauge her true intention by her initial reaction.

I hate to say it but some people have sh** on the brain, kwim? 

If she acts like a jerk, then you know where you stand with her. Just ask yourself this " Do you really want to be friends with someone when it's convenient for them?" 

Hopefully things will work out!

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09/05/2010 at 04:30 pm

I would call her out on it. Ask her how she's feeling, and kind of play along that she must be tired, then mention you saw the pics. She's the one who lied, why should you be the one feeling negatively and carrying this burden over it? Call her out and let her stumble over her words.

09/06/2010 at 09:34 am

wow.  If you want to stay friends with her I guess you guys can have a heart to heart.  but she sounds like a "taker" and I would just being such a good friend to her since it doesn't seem like she reciprocates.

10/14/2010 at 08:06 am

I had a similar situation with a childhood friend that backed out two days prior to the wedding due to child was sick?? umm her husband could have watched him ...anyway never afte that did sh ebother calling me or texting to find out how the wedding went or offer congratualtions- it's been just over a year and I'm finally ready to bury the hatchett adn add her on fb- lifes just too short to worry about what other people do and why

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